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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

I LOVE the picture! So serene!

And I love your posts and your questions!

To be honest, with your friend, unless she's going to do something with the diagnosis, it's not really worth it. I think the diagnosis is a way to get the targeted support.. anyway, at least she says she's going to do something about it.

As for relationships, my life is so amazing that if I had kids or if I was in a relationship, I reckon I'd be too hemmed in. Of course I'm not going to put my foot down and say absolutely no, but I'm totally not hanging out for a relationship or kids.

I have 3 little monkeys living next door to me, am I'm glad to hand them back to their parents.... having children can bring a lot of joy, but it's a huge sacrifice in may ways.

As I said, my life is so so full and amazing now. I don't think I'd want that to change! Seriously! If there was a person who'd 'follow' me and flow with what I do, then yeah, come along.. but I'm not going to sit around waiting for the perfect partner 🙂

Not sure if you get what I mean.. life's too short to put it on hold for something that may not work out.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@tyme

Wow, Im so enjoy reading your responses.

So the ‘rules of your diagnosis is to own, learn and let it go to be truly you ? I read in another post that you were stigmatised in a job about 6 years ago and that is so wrong.

I completely get what you mean.

But writing this: trying to sense your place in your work , I got a job as a carer, pretty much all I could do when my children were little.

My youngest son who is living his life nearby in another suburb……had cancer for 15 years and one of my bosses was extremely un-empathetic to me when he was about 9 years old. This ridiculous boss would ramble on about my head injury…….and make lots of talk up on praising herself on her University teaching degree.

Now , you and I know how a Dip Ed is very time consuming, I couldn’t or wouldn’t want to do this but I had a University Degree myself…….I just didn’t rave on about it……….

@tyme What do you think of people in Australia and their need or unneed of being in a relationship ?

My adult sons are both an absolute joy that they have their own lives. I never hear from my oldest but he’s a crazy study er and works full-time and I hear from him mainly when he’s feeling vulnerable. I haven’t spoken to my youngest son for over 3 or four years. But I know he’s working and he finds it emotionally difficult because he’s always getting his head around having cancer for a long time. He has a lot of support around him.
I know he has suicide ideation ……….I just don’t know what to do but …..there’s nothing……..

I wish…..

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@PeppyPatti, @Doldip15 ohhh I love Peanuts 😆.

I too adore life & have deep gratitude that I made it through. Although I am not unscathed- deep fissures course their way through my body & mind. These scars impact my life opportunities & and well-being.

Some days, I step outside, breathe in & smile at every little thing. Other days I feel a darkness creeping in.

The positive or the negative I take in my stride; I guess that's what developing resilience is hey?

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@tyme! Yeah this picture, just makes me take a LONG exhale!

No kids for me either. Two Dachshunds (elders). And my adorable niece who turns 12 this year. I love seeing her grow & learning more about her developing personality & interests.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

It makes me feel @Lila3

@tyme

@Doldip15

@EternalFlower

That borderline is very misunderstood ? ( @EternalFlower has no diagnosis.....)

Emotional intuition

Infectious excitement

Superior emotional empathy

Being bold, courageous and speaking your mind

Immense passion, loyalty and determination

Great determination for life's beauty

Great curiousity

A whole lotta love

Being really compassionate

Infectious excitement

Heightened creativity.

,............................

My ' friend blames her parents wholeheartedly for her problems.

We have discussed her childhood over and over again.

She is lazy.

She's very aggressive.

When I spend time with her,

I see like a black shade in front of my eyes sometimes that flashes

It feels like when she speaks about her original family - her parents and 2 brothers it's rich with anger. It's like she focuses on past traumatic experiences over and over again.

I don't blame her, I miss her but I as someone with my own issues - I do not want to have this in my life when she shows almost none of those symptoms but I feel if she worked on herself she could.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

hope youve had a good day @PeppyPatti

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Great to see you @outlander..

 

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Nice to see you too @PeppyPatti

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@tyme @PeppyPatti @outlander not feeling too good today but giving it what i can.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hugs to you @EternalFlower - hope things improve for you. Allow those feelings to come and go. Acknowledge them and practice sitting with them. At the same time, know that I'm sitting with you.

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