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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@PeppyPatti ahh that's so good to hear your son got good treatment. And sometimes it's easier talking about stuff we're removed from, at least slightly.

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hello @PeppiPatty

that is a cherished story! When I was a kid my one and only friend were trolling through the rubbish dump which you were allowed to then, and we found discarded items from glass blowing, one of which was a tiny elephant of a stalk! Do you know I still have that elephant today! He is resting in cotton wool in a box in my cupboard and when I find him randomly, I still admire his perfection! I was never sure what to do with an elephant on a stalk but to me he represents a thing of beauty out of my reach! I admire so much that you learnt this skill!
Hope those memories bring warmth to your heart and balance just a little, the painful rejection of your brothers and school friends! But I think somewhere inside, rejection is there to haunt us and beautiful memories required to pull us out of sad despair! I have avoided telling my story to my clients for the 53 years of my working life, but their stories have broken my heart at times and left me searching for ways to help them! And your story is triggering one patients story of a lifetime of bullying and abuse from her siblings that escalated to abuse of her mother’s will after her death! I couldn’t believe how hard it can be to defend oneself! Gather up the bullied and provide a safe place of care and protection! The Forums provide a safe place to be!
@PeppiPatty

@EternalFlower

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Wow @Lila3 Thank you.

It was terribly tough owning my own journey. How my oldest son managed his mental ill health truly surprised me……

and you…….

It’s very good remembering our process isn’t it?

But you and me and @Doldip15 survived didn’t we.

The youth is wasted in the young hey ?

I enjoyed reading your message @Doldip15 It was my way of walking through that time.

I did naughty things……. I smiled when I read you searched through the tip.

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

I totally agree with you @Lila3 .

TW: Inpatient Experiences

Content/trigger warning

As a borderline, I was also an inpatient and then left sitting outside the hospital with nothing the next day. It was terrible. I didn't have a dime on me, no phone, no clothes and I was many kilometres away from home. In the end CATT helped get me to their Area Mental Health Service but I was in such a bad state that I ended up back in inpatient....

The PARC model was perfect for planned admissions as a borderline.

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness


@EternalFlower wrote:

i agree having BPD is a good quality in many people and doesn't need to be feared.
I also agree you can heal and recover completely.


100% agree. Thank you for reminding us 🙂

It's so powerful to have one another to lift each other up.

@EternalFlower @PeppyPatti @Doldip15 @Lila3

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Dearest @tyme

I feel like this about my ex husbands mental illness, schizophrenia. He has it quite badly and has been teased on the street…..

Please know @tyme when I wrote to my friend, I was not upset about the issues she has but it is about her behaviour. I don t care what people are diagnosed with. I am very sorry if I exhibited anything else.

You are amazing for being you.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Nah, no stress at all @PeppyPatti . I totally agree that as adults, people are responsible for their behaviour no matter what their diagnosis. Good on you for speaking up. Sometimes it's needed for a wake up call.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

May I ask @EternalFlower @tyme

As I know very tittle of the diagnosis, what are the brilliant positive joys ??

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

For me, I found I can 'feel' the other person a lot more. Being hypersensitive in a lot of ways, I feel i have deeper intuition.

From what I've noticed, a lot of borderlines work in the 'helping' industries e.g. nursing, teaching, social work...

It sounds strange because borderlines struggle with interpersonal relationships at the best of times... yet it seems in these industries, they really thrive.

Also, I found that when they find their deep passion, they attend to it with 110% 

From experience, it's one condition where the person themselves can make all the difference. Recovery is not reliant on medication.

Having BPD has taught me so much about people and life. Without BPD, I would never be here and I'd never be talking to you! @PeppyPatti

Have a look at this mindmap. When you meet borderlines, it might be hard to see any of these traits....LOL.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

This is AMAZING @tyme I can so relate to this! When I first saw my Psychotherapist over 20 years ago, I was psychotic. I can see this in me during a that time. I did some pretty crazy things. I cleaned houses to pay for my therapy.

Hypersensitive. I can see that they are definitely superpowers.

Highly intelligent stuff hey ? My friend who I truly miss is very lazy. She’s now writing messages she’s going to make an appointment with a Psychiatrist and get diagnosed. Im not answering her texts but I truly feel for her.

What is it like for you @tyme sorry I don’t mean to be rude but are you more attracted to being in a relationship. Having children ? When I turned 19 I just wanted a baby, I chose someone and had 2. Of course, there’s a journey written in one or two sentences.

I love this map….. Thank you

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