I feel very uneducated, stupid etc

I feel useless xnd not complete if I don't understand or write properly @Jynx Msybe I should read the info you have. If you can I would like to read it.

I managed to get a last minute appt to see my GP tomorrow at 8am @Emelia8 xxx

I'm a wreck. I'm self harming by not taking my meds.
Thanks @chibam for your reply. I do understand what you're saying.
I have friends thst know so much z as bout places, etc etc snd I sit snd say nothing bevsuse I know nothing.
I'm sorry I don't feel worthy tonight. 😢

@Sophia1 xxxx

Sure thing @BlueBay - there's an article I was reading here: Executive Function

It has some introductory concepts and a list of links for further reading at the bottom. Hope it helps x

I'm sorry to hear you don't feel worthy tonight. That is very hard to sit with. I'm glad you're seeing your GP tomorrow, if I recall correctly you have quite a good relationship with your GP. And even just being able to admit that you're SHing by not taking your meds takes a lot of insight and awareness.

You are still a wonderful and very valued member of this community in my eyes, regardless of what your MI is telling you.

Thanks @Jynx ill have a read.
Can I ask you and others

if I tell my GP tomorrow thst I'm self harming by not taking meds is thst a bad failure on my part.
Im at fault
he'll be angry with me

Msybe I shouldn't tell him

@chibam @Emelia8 @Sophia1 @MDT @Former-Member @BPDSurvivor @HenryX

@BlueBay I will echo what @MDT said - your GP isn't there to pass judgement, he's there to help you and he can't do that if he doesn't know what's going on. It is your choice what to say in the end, but I get the sense that you know that it might not be good for you to not take your meds.

It's isn't a failure to be struggling to cope.

Hi @BlueBay

I support what @MDT and @Jynx have said. I do believe that being as relaxed and open as you can be, particularly with any health care provider is best.

Personally, it feels so unpleasant for me, if I forget to take medication with me, when going away, forgetting it, or even trying to reduce it, that I have simply learned to remember to take it.

In fact, if you feel up to it, I would take the regular dose as soon as it is due and continue as normal. then You can say to your GP that you had a lapse and have now recommenced. It really is important, I believe, that they know, not only how you are responding to medication, whether you are taking the appropriate dose, but also how you are dealing with any life issues, pressures etc. They really cannot help without knowing what is going on. That is why we seek their advice, but they cannot help if we "tie their hands behind their backs" and disable them.

With Best Wishes

@HenryX

Hi there @BlueBay

Please believe me when I say you are not stupid! You are very special and I value your insights and knowledge here on the forums very much. There are times when you sa things to other forumites that I think 'why didn't I think of that?' Like you seem to do. You understand people and I'm amazed at your abilities to do that.

Yes, writing here on the forums is hard at times as it's the only way to communicate and I fully understand that it must be hard for you and others who might prefer to communicate differently, but it's not about being educated or smart or intelligent. It's about recognising and acknowledging that each of us are special and unique and differs in the ways in which we communicate to each other. I know for a fact that often for me, I find it easier to write things down to people like my psychologist as it gives me a chance to empty my brain of what's going on and just let it all out whatever is causing me to feel the way I feel. I know that when I verbally speak things to people at times, I get emotional and confused and often end up feeling bad because I think I've made them upset or because I've made a fool of myself for saying something I shouldn't have said.

I do know that during my recent hospital admission, my journal became my best friend as I constantly wrote in it for the first few days of my stay as I was scared and unsure of life on a mental health ward as I hadn't been in 1 here in Melbourne before with all my previous admissions being interstate and over 10 years ago. I was constantly writing and communicating my thought and feelings to my psychologist and that helped both of us understand me and what I was going through. That came to be of use when he spoke to my nurse during our appointment and he was able to let the nurse know a few things that I hadn't told the nurses about on the ward and they then learnt new ways of how to deal with me and my behaviour on the ward whilst I was there. The best part of me writing to him was when I experienced my psychosis episode as he got to read what it was like to experience psychosis without actually going through it himself and that provided the both of us with a lot of information on how to handle the episode and what I could do in future to help myself like noticing trigggers that could indicate a possible episode beginning to happen for me.

Communicating via words isn't always an option for some people who may find they communicate their ideas through drawing and artwork for example or other creative outlets and I love how people can do this. They say that a picture speaks a thousand words and I honestly believe this is true in so many ways. You only need to look at artworks by famous artists like Picasso and other artists to see that they express their feelings through what they painted and that's amazing for me. Maybe you communicate better like that as well?

Once again, I'm sorry to read that you're not feeling the best with writing but I do hope that you see that you are special and I love having you here on the forums.

Take care forumite friend!

Judi9877☺️🌻🍀

@BlueBay I have never found you to be stupid in any way! You are always kind and have deep insights that I lack. You are able to write what is most needed for that person to hear at that time (I know this because they respond saying this) and I have been impressed many times. You are a very helpful member - please don't feel bad in any way, it's not at all true and I'm sorry you feel that way. 😞

Sending hugs and 💙

I just want to say a big thank youi to each and every one of you @NatureLover @Judi9877 @MDT @HenryX @Jynx @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Sophia1 @BPDSurvivor @chibam

for your kind words and support.

I am ok today, still a bit flat. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow morning and I will bring this up with her - how i feel about communication.

From now on if i don't understand someone's reply to me I will ask to pls explain. Pls don't judge me or think i am stupid because all i am doing is asking to explain your reply in easier words so i can understand. That way then i can reply hopefully with a reply.

I really struggle with my self confidence and lots of struggles with myself as me. I don't see myself as strong, beautiful, or intelligent. But i know i am kind, sympathetic and loving person especially to my own family and granddaughter.

I very much doubt my responses on here and really anywhere, i think my answers are dumb, so therefore I tend to sit back and not talk much when in a group setting.

This is going to be a huge learning thing for me when i begin DBT (dialetical behaviour therapy) specific therapy for BPD. I know i will struggle because in a group there will be lots of other people that i don't know and i will fear answsering questions. See already i am anxious about this.