Birthday card from my mother.

@Maritza

Mara, thanks for sharing your experience. Each experience is unique. It cannot be compared. I didn't ever give up on my mother, she gave up on me. Thousands of times. You say no man can ever come between the connection. Not all mother's think like you.

Part of the abuse that was inflicted on me was dropping me like a hot potato every time a man came along. Then, I was in the way and resented for having needs. In her own words "my job as a mother is done" Her words and actions showed I was an inconvenience. I'd only become useful to her when each man she put before me was not working out anymore. Then, I'd be a counsellor, best friend and support but NEVER her daughter. Then the man would want her again and same old thing. I'd be dropped like a hot potato. It took me a long time to figure out the horror if going through this. I thought her need for me at times was love. It wasn't. She didn't need me because she loved her daughter and wanted to spend genuine time with her, she needed me to play all the roles shed given me. The ekief I carried for a long time was that being that she loved me when she needed me. It was a lie and false.

34 years of abuse. No thanks. It never changed.

So thanks for sharing your story. Mine is completely different.

@BlueBay

Thank you for sharing. It takes mature and grown adults to be able to take responsibility for their choices and actions. Clearly your parents are not capable of it. By you confronting them, it meant the scary prospect of them having to face things they had done. They were not capable of doing so.

The best thing for them to was to inflict more pain onto you for sharing to bring up their shortfalls and childhood abuse that was inflicted on you.

It's deeply painful when all of that happens. I don't have magic words to deal with it as I have my own deep struggles, deep pain and wounds. I'm sorry for what you endured that you should never have had to.

The abuse was NEVER your fault.

Thanks @Powderfinger your reply means a lot. Thank you.
how are you going. I haven't spoken to you for a little while.
xxxoo

How are you @Powderfinger ?

Thinking of you.

xx BPDSurvivor

@BlueBay

You are welcome. No we havnt spoken for a while. I'm in a very deep and dark depression. Thanks for asking.

I'm sorry @Powderfinger you're in a bad way atm.
pls know that I care and hope you can get some support

hugs xxxooo

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@Powderfinger wrote:

I'm in a very deep and dark depression.

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So sorry to hear this, I can empathise @Powderfinger

I'm glad you can still reach out and express yourself here.

Sending warm thoughts and wishes for your depression to lift.

@BlueBay

You are welcome. Sorry for late reply. I'm in a fairly deep depression. I try make it back here when I can to respond. Thanks for asking how I am. X

@BPDSurvivor

Sorry for late reply. I'm in a very deep depression. When I'm like this, my moods chop and change so I try make it back here when I can. Thank you for asking how I am and thinking of me.

@BlueBay

Thank you for letting me know you care. It's so important to have that reminder when you are really not travelling well.