I'm in a really bad way

I'm in a really bad way. I'm not looking after myself at all. I have been online too much and it has affected my mental health in a negative way. I didn't see it coming. I wish I had paid attention to the signs. I have been in bed all day and I'm not eating or showering or cleaning my teeth. I have been drinking some water but not enough. And I haven't fed my Pug today. I will do that now. I don't understand why I let myself get this bad. I have never been this bad before. I think I must be blaming myself for something. I think I'm being extremely hard on myself like I'm punishing myself. I don't even know how to explain how I feel but I'm a mess. I wish I could be more loving towards myself. I wish I could look after myself. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense and I'm finding it hard to write. I'm not having any suicidal thoughts; I'm just severely depressed. I'm going to feed my Pug now and then I will have a shower.

I have just realised something. I think I have let myself get like this because I haven't been wanting to face my problems. I think I have been running away from them by going online too much. It has all been too hard to face. I think I'm struggling with the changes in my life and I think I'm afraid of the future.