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The magic of tidying

The magic of tidying

Decluttering and minimising. Taking control of house and garden, nurturing body and soul. I've read Marie Kondo and read a little on a related Swedish method and feel inspired. I've been a borderline hoarder and lived with depression for too long and want to take the initiative. Has anyone done this? Or is there anyone who'd like to try with me?

I've sorted my books and uni notes. I've decided to sell some furniture when lockdown lifts. But the other papers and STUFF in the house and the jungle outside have me beaten atm. Some mutual encouragement and support is the only thing that's going to get me through. I know I'll have to face some decisions like "will I ever use that fabric stash" or "how many books in the TBR ,pile is too many" or "where do I start in the kitchen". Boxing isn't the answer, it was a temporary reprieve.

It's going to be a contest between my commitment to getting sorted and the looming possibility of having to move and downsize for my health. Having control of my space will be a win in either the old space or a new one.

Setting goals. Celebrating achievements. Sharing life hacks. Is anyone on board?

Dimity.

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In response to: The magic of tidying

Re: The magic of tidying

Yes well I'm a bit embarrassed too @TAB as I've let things go. Didn't notice the cobwebs til the sparkie was here to fix the light... LOL

I'll try to sleep now. Good night. Take care

In response to: Re: The magic of tidying

Re: The magic of tidying

..same re bathroom here @Dimity as in 'pet' spider owns window etc etc

In response to: Re: The magic of tidying

Re: The magic of tidying

Hi @Dimity and @HenryX and others in this thread 🙋

I've been struggling with the need to clean up my surroundings for a while now.

It's at the point that everything seems way out of control and every action, however small, is an effort.

Feeling useless, hopeless, overwhelmed.

Living in a cramped, messy, dusty, dirty caravan with a shipping container full of mixed belongings I can't see myself ever getting to.

Outside overgrown and wild. Haven't been into the "garden" in months. Saw a snake on my last visit to the toilet shed.

Can't see a way forward.

Compounded by the fact that I live Off Grid so no access to council rubbish collection (or water, power, road maintenance etc, internet access via mobile phone only).

I just want to disappear.

Sorry if this is not the appropriate place to post this. I just needed to share to alleviate my anxiety.

Many thanks,

RedHorse 🌹🐴

Edited to add:

After reading through some earlier posts on this thread I realised that I need to set some goals (no matter how unmotivated I feel) if I am going to move forward as others seem to be doing.

I guess self care is a related aspect I could tackle.

In response to: Re: The magic of tidying

Re: The magic of tidying

Hello @RedHorse it's nice to see you. I'm so glad you've got in touch. My situation is suburban but I can identify with all of your feelings. I often feel useless hopeless and overwhelmed but the times I don't see my situation are probably objectively worse.

Living off grid could be both challenging and glorious. Have you been there long? Do you have four legged companions?

Yes I set goals and write lists from time to time. I struggle and fail but days or weeks later I return to the lists and set goals again. Yesterday I dusted, today I swept, and I see there's another cupboard I can clear. Your caravan might restrict you to essentials in your living space so that might be where to start. Unpacking your shipping container might be too hard unless you have a transitional space.

I've set up the free Daylio app on my phone so I have visual reminders of things I can do. Tackling my outdoors as well as inside. Daylio is also a mood tracker so I can see associations with particular activities. Being on the forums helps too.

Sorry if my suggestions feel intrusive. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a while and these are just things I'm trying.

I'd love to hear what goals you decide on and how things go for you.

In response to: Re: The magic of tidying

Re: The magic of tidying

Hi @RedHorse I spent 3 years in grotty old site caravan years ago, was only going to be temporary but just stayed and stayed.maybe do one thing at time like stove top , or sweep floor eg. it does make you feel better. I live in a 2 br house, and have filled it with clutter, I rarelymow the lawns or sweep floors, but I do dishes and benchtops and stove top and occasionally I pick stuff up, clear the floors and vacuum lol

In response to: Re: The magic of tidying

Re: The magic of tidying

Hello @RedHorse

You and me both and others too. And, while I cannot speak for @Dimity , I believe that he may probably say much the same.

Alright, our specific circumstances may not all be the same, but a lot of the feelings that we experience as a result of our circumstances are the same or very similar. It is really in the process of expressing and addressing those feelings, that we can help and assist each other here on the forum and in this thread in particular.

@Dimity and others are aware, from what I have discussed over the past 8+ months, that I have made significant progress in my physical capacity and psychological health. Coming from a long way back, with quite a long way to go.

My progress has been as a result of a number of factors. Firstly, seeking and gaining the support of a counsellor with whom I have been able to work constructively for my benefit. I believe, that it is, in part, because we talk with each other, not to each other.

Another factor has been my interaction on the forums. A lot of communication and correspondence has been in the form of positive affirmation by and from many other members. As well as that, I have endeavoured to contribute to conversations with others and offer suggestions and support through the forum. That interaction has given me a feeling of worthwhile contribution that has been mutual and reciprocal for me, as I hope and believe, has also been the case for others, in like fashion.

I have started a couple of threads. One is a general discussion thread, called

“Henry's Landing Strip and Hangar”,

the other called

“Food and Beverage Choices for Improved Physical and Psychological Health.”

Both of these threads have helped me 'get out of myself'. The first is unashamedly, a dreaming thread, though it also provides the foundation for some serious conversations and discussions. The second, is a more practical approach to day to day nutrition. At present, I am aiming at personal reduction for health {got to be cautious about terminology; see Guidelines & Info}, so many of the observations on the Choices thread are not applicable for me at present, but give me options to which I can look forward.

Areas that I have not yet made as much progress as I would like, are with regard to my physical living space and administrative matters. Your description of your living space is, in many ways, similar to my own. Though I presently live in a house, it would probably best be described as ramshackle and tumbledown. “A little crooked man in a little crooked house …..” My physical space as you describe,

“seems way out of control and every action, however small, is an effort.”

and seems to have so little effect, as to appear not worthwhile

“Outside overgrown and wild. Haven't been into the "garden" in months.”

and I am constantly resisting the feelings of being,

“(Feeling) useless, hopeless, overwhelmed.”

I try to avoid giving those feelings too much attention, because I am aware that they are swift to take advantage of any attention that I give them. However, I never deny myself the opportunity of feeling good, even if it means that I have to ignore everything else. This is because I believe that it is only by practising feeling good, as much and as often as I can, that I will be able to progress, even by small steps at a time. I know that, even as little as I do, it is only by doing it that will allow me to move toward and reach any goal.

I am 70+, so am definitely conscious of wanting to leave particular items for specific people and as little as possible to tidy up for anyone else.

No offence taken, no apology required.

This is the right place to post what you have described and it is very appropriate for you too have done so. I believe that it is the reason, at least in part, for @Dimity having set up this valuable thread.

With Best Wishes

@HenryX

In response to: Re: The magic of tidying

Re: The magic of tidying

Hi @RedHorse, i'm glad you shared here. As you can see a lot of us can relate to the feeling of overwhelm and anxiety when it comes to keeping up with cleaning. You're already on the right track with the goal setting! Being robotic about it can help but that fatigue and lack of motivation can be so overpowering sometimes, right. I wanted to share, my psychologist helped me to see cleaning and chores as 'acts of love' towards myself. I found reframing my perspective this way gave me some motivation to begin.

Good luck! Take it slow & celebrate those small achievements.

Here with you,

Sphinxly 🙂

In response to: Re: The magic of tidying

Re: The magic of tidying

A step at a time my friends @RedHorse , @TAB , @HenryX , @Dimity , @Former-Member

In response to: Re: The magic of tidying

Re: The magic of tidying

Thanks @Shaz51 🐱

In response to: Re: The magic of tidying

Re: The magic of tidying

Thanks for your encouragement @Shaz51 .

@HenryX and @Former-Member thankyou my feelings deeply resonate with what you've expressed so well. I agree that looking after our household and environment is essential selfcare and affirms our selfworth... but gosh it's hard sometimes. This evening I filled a green bin but still feel anxious that I haven't cleared enough space for an air-conditioning technician to assess installation of a split system tomorrow.

By the way @HenryX my pronouns are she/her... Dimity is an old English girls name and also a durable type of cotton cloth. No offence taken. I hope that you feel encouraged and supported in your own decluttering journey, especially since you're achieving so much on other fronts. In the Swedish method you're encouraged to consult your family on what they'd like and perhaps pass some things on early.

@TAB my place is much the same size as yours and sounds similar re housework. Onwards and upwards.

@RedHorse thinking of you and sending you strength... I'm glad @TAB could relate. I probably share something else with you - blackberries.

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