The magic of tidying

Great re opshop @Dimity

My son helped me move a keyboard so I can start on my study corner.

I am not totally sure what my head pain is about. It is a few things. It is going to be topic with counsellor on Monday. Life has always been so pressured I have not had much attention or help about it. I have done many kinds of meditation and relaxation over last 40 years. All essential I would not have made it alive til now without them.

i thought about and appreciated you reminding me about the recorder, but I had to go deeper and started to work on memorising the Waldstein on the piano. It has sufficient depth to contain me a bit. WIll see how it goes. The point is not too much reading, it has a lot of chords that are easy reading and I relax my eyes while I play. I will get back on recorder but need to mix it up a bit becasue of neck and back, I also do concone and choir stuff. Music is what I do anyway, my weird way of life mainly structured around managing pain without meds.

Had a couple of lovely emails from friends and a free ticket to a concert next week, so some aspects of the social universe are caring for me.

@Appleblossom hope you had a good spot for the keyboard, but finding space for the. study corner is good. I've still got a bit of work to do on my reading/listening corner.

One day I might get back to my sadly neglected recorders and piano... perhaps with a tutor. A magnifier for music reading distance would be brilliant but I doubt one's been invented.

I've sampled different relaxation and meditation styles. Zazen was very disciplined and I wouldn't call it relaxing. It left me in tears, I found it taxing and painful both mentally and physically but I wasn't in a good space at the time and abandoned it after several sessions.

I did a little zazen @Dimity not much.

Last night I put on a yoga nidra youtube to sleep. It was pretty stock standard, they all seem to be marketing themselves online. In the end for me the best on was Buddhist metta ... lovingkindness meditation.... it allowed my thoughts the freedom to just be ... but return to a solid core. It also resonated with Christian meditation approaches I had tried.

The problem with my desk is all the stuff on top of it ... but I am gradually sorting things to get to it ... one day .. no idea when it will be a good space. Atm I am using pillow to lift computer on my bed. Its not good for posture so cannot do it long ... which is GOOD.

Sorry to hear about your head, back and neck pain, @Appleblossom 😞

Amazing that you manage the pain without meds.

I was breast feeding when it first started. @NatureLover

I had a bit after they were bigger, but also witnessing too many people with tardive dyskinesia as a young person. I did not have that last thought in mind at the time as I was too busy with 3 babies and iitlle children and trying to earn some money. Knowledge of tardive Dys probably fueled my deep partly unconscious resistance to it. Not amazing really but I am getting tired. I know everyone tells me the meds are different these days but not totally ... cos I saw some tardive dyskinesia last night.

@Appleblossom I had to google "tardive dyskinesia" as I'd never heard of it 😞

Sorry @NatureLover I guess I had first seen it when I was 10. I probably first heard of the term early in marriage with exhusband.

Risk of tardive dyskinesia was a concern for me and early pdocs for years too @Appleblossom @NatureLover but I haven't seen mention of it for many years. Maybe it's not such an issue with newer antipsychotics. And meds needed to counteract parkinsonism sèem to have fallen away too. Probably showing my age here.

@Dimity @NatureLover I no longer believe everything I read about these so called new meds. Sorry I edited it due to protection and confidentiality.

Yes that's a worry @Appleblossom. I also saw the rigidity and drooling when Dad was put on a "geriatric" drug... I objected and he came good as soon as he was taken it off it. Not sure what you can do but awareness helps.