The magic of tidying

Thanks @Dimity

Things have been a bit rocky to start. I can’t say anything right so I feel as if I am walking on eggshells. Also I am feeling judged about the state of the house. She actually had something to say about it. I am doing my best. Her room was ready for her but in the process a lot of other things are not where they belong. I don’t like being judged in my own home. Daughter has no choice but to live here right now but she needs to keep her opinions to herself

Sorry to hear that @Oaktree . There was bound to be a settling in period. And your daughter is of an age where she feels entitled and independent and autonomous, especially after being away how long? Several years?

My home help has also become more candid and judgemental although she must have seen the work I've been doing. Or maybe it's because she HAS noticed that she asks about progress.

Last few days I've tried looking through old paperwork and records that have very painful memories associated. I think I'll just dip in and out rather than tackling it all at once. I've done very little since the big clean up around Easter.

Emotional stuff is hard @Dimity

Proud of you for even being open to tackling it. All my stuff has memories of my kids when they were little. If it was up to my daughter she would dump everything. She can do that when I am dead. She was away 4 years

It's emotional for you too @Oaktree .

I guess it will be hardest negotiating re shared spaces like living areas. It was a big job for you getting her room ready, and I hope she appreciates that. Take your time and don't feel unduly pressured.

You and your husband have your own lives, you're no longer in that parent-dependent child dyad, and you've grown and achieved so much in the time I've known you.

Thanks @Dimity

@Dimity How are things going with you? Has your crash ended or are you still feeling a bit flat and unmotivated? I find it inspiring that while you're not feeling great you're still able to log in here and offer such great support and advice. I hope you're feeling better ❤️

Thanks for asking @Chantarelle . Unfortunately I'm unwell... being run down I've succumbed to an infection.

Decluttering-wise I'm trying (slowly) to get into some rather triggering old papers. And I let go of some small boxes. Small steps.

How are you getting on? If you've backslid a bit that's OK.

@Dimity Sorry to hear that you're unwell. I don't think I need to tell you that now is a good time for lots of rest. But good job on the stuff that you're tackling. It seems that you know those papers are going to be hard work so being gentle is definitely the way to go. I think I have papers like that stashed somewhere too. And every box is a win, no matter how big or small.

Big weekend of football for me so I've decided to treat myself to a long weekend on the coast. When I planned it a few weeks ago I thought I could sacrifice my Saturday morning. Do a couple of loads of washing and just put a couple of hours into doing some surface stuff. No actual clearing or decluttering, just freshen things up a bit so that when I get home on Monday it feels nicer. And it all felt so doable a few weeks ago, but now it's the say before Saturday and I just want to cry but I've got TV to watch and books to read! But I'd like to think that just one weekend I don't leave everything until the last minute and increase the quality of my downtime, even if I have to sacrifice some of the quantity.

Hope you feel better soon ❤️

@Chantarelle a weekend's respite sounds good. You might be overthinking the preparation.

Washing is easy... it's the putting away afterwards that takes more determination.

Despairing... know that feeling...

A few weeks ago you managed to clear part of the kitchen bench. That was a success! And it's replicable! It's something that makes a difference as I think @NatureLover would agree.

The GP says I need a longer course of antibiotics so yes I think I'll be taking things slowly. But I'd love to achieve something to lift my spirits.

Enjoy your weekend away.

@Dimity when I was a much younger person I would do a load of washing and then forget about it. So I trained myself to not stop when the washing machine is on. So two loads for me means one load in and clean downstairs, second load in and clean upstairs. So yes, putting washing on is easy, but the plan is always more complicated than that. Sadly, the washing never goes away in my house. I pretty much have a room for clean stuff and a room for dirty stuff. Thank you for the reminder of the recent achievements. That bench space is still mostly clear ❤️