The magic of tidying

Why I am so averse to just getting started on some tidying?

I know I will feel better when I do make the effort but am almost in tears at the thought of it.

Ridiculous :face_with_rolling_eyes:

Hello @RedHorse

I had come to check on updated messages when I noticed your comment here. So I offer these few comments in solidarity with you if, as I believe is the case, our thoughts and feelings coincide.

Associated with the inertia of not seeming to be able to address the disorder is the anxiety about not being able to do what is needed and the fear of never being able to accomplish or complete the task. Another aspect that comes to mind is the question, "What is the point?"

These feelings and questions, I believe, have as much to do with our self-perception and self-esteem, as they have to do with the tasks themselves or our physical capacity to address and complete them. I certainly believe that to be the case for me. I am trying to work out why the difficulty exists for me. Certainly, earlier in my life, I have always enjoyed seeing my personal space clean, neat and tidy. The issue is more to do with the accumulation of negative experiences, and my reaction to them, than my physical capacity to do, or not do, what I need to get done.

Recently, I have been trying to focus on just a couple of separate things that I want to do. I would like to get a bicycle repaired for a friend and also to begin a vegetable and flower garden. My thinking is that I need to narrow down what I have in front of me to one or two items that will give me some pleasure and satisfaction. From there, I can add on just one item at a time. A way of avoiding mental overload, which seems to be so close and present most of the time.

I believe that I can very much empathise with your thoughts and the face-with-rolling-eyes.

I have got the disposal bags and gloves to do the work, I now have to apply myself to starting the work and then, continuing to complete at least a small section at a time.

I hope that we both find our way through this mental maze to a more pleasant and enjoyable place, space and experience.

With Best Wishes

@HenryX

Thanks @HenryX

Beautifully said!

Take care,
RedHorse 🌹🐴

Hello @RedHorse @HenryX

What you say resonates for me

"The issue is more to do with the accumulation of negative experiences, and my reaction to them, " ie past or present hurts or anxiety about the future that are associated with what are really just physical objects... I've avoided processing these feelings which in anticipation can make me feel physically ill. I can understand the feelings of two friends who were recently bereaved who are dealing with their late husbands' things and interests but my own feelings don't seem valid. I probably need more help from my psychologist to deal with this "accumulation" as her task-oriented approach to the here and now isn't recognising the underlying stress that's complicating my efforts. Or maybe that's a feature of acceptance and commitment therapy - to accept the wash of emotions and get on with it anyway.

So I'm back to trying to do a little every day. It's almost a spiritual discipline if I try to do it mindfully. Very zen. I find myself smiling as I type this so that's hopeful. Maybe I'll even find the things that spark joy. I wish the same for you.

Best wishes

Dimity.

Well in the last few days I've shredded some work files (but put some aside to reread), tossed some magazines in the recycling, and filled a green bag with stuff for the opshop. Hopefully that's broken the drought. My neighbour mowed the lawn so the garden is looking more inviting. So I'm starting again, and I'll see how far I get.

How are you going @RedHorse @HenryX @TAB ?

Hello @Dimity , @RedHorse , @Appleblossom , @TAB and @Former-Member

@Dimity, pleased to know that you are making progress in your situation and also that the garden is looking more inviting. Hopefully, the number of steps forward is appreciably greater than those in the other direction.

Your message of the 16 March developed the ideas that you found resonated for you. I, likewise, think that

"her task-oriented approach to the here and now isn't recognising the underlying stress that's complicating my efforts."

applies in similar fashion with my interaction with my counsellor.

I have observed, both mentally and, as stated here on the forum, that there are differences between my counsellor's perspectives and mine in various areas of discussion, but that the overall interaction, between us, has been very positive for me. Being aware of our different perspectives allows me to receive what I believe that I need from our interaction. As such, I think that it is appropriate, not to think of our counsellors as "all knowing gurus", but rather as people who are showing us some of the ways that they, from their training and experience, may offer us some light and impart some skills, from an external, impartial observer perspective, in areas where it may be most useful and beneficial for each of us.

Getting back into the underlying reasons, many of which are buried, not always out of mind though, can be the most difficult part. That is the part that I believe is our own role to address, albeit with the support of our counsellors and guides.

It appears to me that the people having most difficulty in their lives and, possibly making the least progress along their path, are those who think that their counsellors and advisers have, or should have all the answers.

@RedHorse, it appears from your comments that you have been feeling that life is bit like a roller-coaster ride with significant ups and downs, and sudden changes in direction. I do hope that life, thoughts and feelings are becoming more settled for you.

@Appleblossom, I like your comment from the 29 January:

"we need just enough for effective productivity and creativity .... in my book...lol"

It seems that many of us are trying to reach a place and space with "just enough for effective productivity." However, the path to that goal, for many reasons, can often feel rock strewn, winding, scary and even dangerous.

@TAB,your comment from the 29 January strikes a chord for me:

"I sometimes wonder whether I do things just so I can have worry in my head, well, to cover up for whatever else isn't there {or what else, from the past, is still there} . Like procrastination. then thinking about doing task can become the task itself as you say (I think)"

I enjoyed reading the sentiments observations and the way that you put your ideas into that comment. A reference to the way that we/I often deal with issues.

@Former-Member, I enjoy your positive and encouraging comments offered and the acknowledgement and recognition of the positions that members have offered and discussed.

With Best Wishes to All

@HenryX

Hi @TAB yes your injured knee must be very limiting. I hope it's healing well - 6 weeks is a while. I think my ankle took a couple of months.

Thanks for your thoughtful response @HenryX . In taking responsibility for our own recovery however the biological model of MI means we are in large part dependent on the clinical expertise of our care team - noone asks cancer or heart patients to chart their own path to their recovery. Our degree of autonomy may depend on our relative state of health, and in MI the range across the spectrum is broad. To initiate talking therapies presupposes a level of experience or knowledge that may come by sharing in forums like this one. In psychiatry however the medication expertise is siloed and we defer to trust or at worst scheduling or community treatment orders. I feel very privileged to have the support of a psychologist now with whom I can reflect on issues and select ways forward; it's a comparative luxury.

Sorry to be dark today, but thankyou for the discussion.