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Self-harm

Self-harm

Is it possible to have conversations about self-harm in these forums? I'm not looking to share ideas about it, more ideas for how to handle things after they've occurred But I imagine this would be challenging as a trigger to many people. I don't want to upset the community so please let me know. It's just an issue I deal with and I don't want to be the only one.

28 replies

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In response to: Self-harm

Re: Self-harm

In response to: Self-harm

Re: Self-harm

Hi @kattytee, this is a good question. I've SH'd on and off for 30 years. For about half of those I hid the scars, wearing long sleeves and pants all through the year because I was ashamed of them. At some point I got over that and started wearing short sleeves. Sometimes people asked - kids often asked - I gave answers that I thought the person could handle, so I told the kids that I had an accident, some adults that I self-harmed, most adults that it was none of their business.

In the last 5 years or so the scars have become much more extensive and defiguring, also less recognisable as self-harm so I've started hiding them again - not because I'm ashamed of them but because people find them alarming. I'm aware that for someone who thinks they know me to suddenly see a massively defiguring scar and the meaning of it can be almost traumatising... and it would be selfish of me not to protect them from that. So I'm back to extreme coverings. It's different - better - than before when I covered though. I'm not ashamed, just protecting others 🙂

In response to: Self-harm

Re: Self-harm

I used to self harm a lot about 5 years ago. I used to wear lots of wrist jewelery to hide them, then when people found out, i started sh in places that people dont see unless im naked. About 2 or so years ago i got over my depression and was no longer ashamed of my scars so i stopped covering them up. When people ask i say that "they are from a bad time in my life".

Recently though i had a baby girl and instead of it being all sunshine and rainbows ive developed post natal depression. As a result ive started sh again. I tried so hard not to but it got to the point where it was me or my baby. I cant hide them from my other half. So im burdened to live with the shame.

In response to: Self-harm

Re: Self-harm

I started sh when I was in high school and did it for about four years on and off. And then I stoped, and was clean for a year. Last couple of monthes I started again. This year is terrible and it keeps reminding me about my problems. And it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunel, if you know what I mean. Friends started to ask about my bandages and what happend. I hate lying to them but I just can't tell them, don't know why. I know they would support me, but I guess it bothers me when I need to have a support. I like fixing my problems by myself but I guess am terrible at it. I am really good at listening and giving adviceses to other people, but when it comes to me, it's like I don't even want to get better. What kind of person would not want to get better?

In response to: Re: Self-harm

Re: Self-harm

Respect that it takes courage just to admit it.

In response to: Re: Self-harm

Re: Self-harm

But nothing's changed, like, there is no point to just admit. I will stop, I did it once, I'll do it again, soon. The problem is that this feeling will not go away.

In response to: Self-harm

Re: Self-harm

Are you seeing any professionals who can help you find other ways of dealing with your distress @corli? It may also be worth contacting Headspace. They have a very comprehensive web site and also have a forum.
You asked what type of person wouldn't want to get better. When I was your age I felt very much the same. I later realised that it wasn't a matter of not wanting to get better. I simply didn't know how to start.
You said nothing has changed. Would you like to talk about your emotions that caused you to sh?
Take care and keep talking to us. You are important. 🎶

In response to: Self-harm

Re: Self-harm

@Former-Member It sounds like you are more empowered about the decisions you make these days regarding covering your scars, which is great. Is your SH escalating atm? It sounds as though you say your scars are getting worse? I really like that you're not ashamed of them.
@R1CK13 are you getting help for your post-natal depression? Is your partner supportive? It sounds like hell, in fact I'm terrified that it will happen to me when I have children. But I'm sure you're still doing what's best for your daughter, in fact it sounds like by SH you are. Maybe there are other ways though..?
@corli @Kurra I often feel when I SH that I'm just doing the same old 'cry for help' and that its attention seeking and even though I know it's a dumb thing to do I keep I doing it. Just re fixing your problems yourself, @corli, I think it's important to tell you that in my own experience and in the experience of anyone I've ever know to 'recover' from MI episodes it's been a group effort - sure psychs and doctors but also family and friends. You would be doing something amazingly courageous to stop and ask for help. It's a very hard but worthwhile thing to do I think.


In response to: Re: Self-harm

Re: Self-harm

@Kurra I havn't talk to anyone yet about it but I feel like I need to, because it's starting to mess with my head too much. Before I knew how to deal with it, I just shut my feelings off but I don't want to be that person again. I don't like that cold person without feelings. I usually do it when I fail at something or when I feel overwhelming with grief. @kattytee I have great group of freinds and if I tell them I know they would help me right away. But I can't tell my family. My mom died six years ago and it's just me, my sister and my dad. I don't want to be another thing that happened to them, so I would llike to get better for them but without their knowledge. Everything I do, I do it for them. I can't hurt them by not being okay for them.

In response to: Self-harm

Re: Self-harm

I'm so sorry @corli. I sounds like @Kurra is right and a place like Headspace might have a lot to offer you. But I echo the sentiments of this forum and say you are able to share your feelings and not be alone by being on here.
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