FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Events and updates

Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Hi SANE community,

This fortnight we will be having a discussion on healthy relationships, but specifically in the context of lockdowns, which affect many of us across Australia today. Our guest speaker, a relationship counsellor, will be here to speak on boundaries, communication skills and conflict resolution to guide those of you who may be struggling to sustain harmony and connection with family, partners or roommates when stuck in the home.

The last two years have been really tough with a novel virus circulating the world, and extended and frequent lockdowns being snapped in place. Mental health organisations, like SANE, Lifeline and 1800 RESPECT have shown that lockdowns have caused significant hardship and stress on individuals whether that be financially, physically or emotionally, and the effects of that hardship and stress are becoming more apparent in the home and in relationships.

This Topic Tuesday will hold space for us to discuss boundaries and ways to communicate with those in our lives to mend and/or maintain a healthy relationship dynamic when we’re stuck sharing the same space. It may be an important and valuable topic for those who have experienced, might be experiencing or could experience a relationship breakdown in lockdown.

Please join us here on Tuesday the 31st of August 2021 from 7:00pm-8:30pm AEST to follow this conversation.

Want to receive a reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below.

New to the forums or want to get involved in this discussion? Check out the How To Guide for Topic Tuesdays.
______________________________________________________________________________

We recognise that situations at home and in relationships are at various stages, and we welcome everyone to bring their experiences to this space. If you are experiencing a situation at home puts your safety at risk, please contact emergency services or contact 1800 RESPECT for referrals and additional support. This discussion will more generally discuss ideas around boundaries and relationship communication skills, however we will also provide information on resources that may be available to you.

81 replies

21 - 30 of 81

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

What are some examples of healthy and unhealthy boundaries?

Healthy boundaries:

  • I am responsible for me
  • Maintaining values regardless of what others want
  • Noticing when someone disrespects your boundaries
  • Acknowledging what is good and bad for me
  • Noticing when someone else has inappropriate boundaries
  • Respecting others and their boundaries
    • Asking before touching them
    • Asking whether they have the capacity to sit with you emotionally
    • Checking in whether the other person has the capacity for you to offload onto them
  • Trusting your decisions
  • Self-respect
    • Checking with yourself whether you have the capacity to support someone
    • What do you need when after supporting someone?
    • Taking care of yourself first
    • Talking to yourself in a gentle, loving and respectful manner

Unhealthy Boundaries:

  • Telling everyone everything
  • Unable to notice / not noticing when someone disrespects your boundaries
  • Focusing on a particular person and it consuming you
  • Focusing on other people’s needs over your own
  • Doing things for or with other people that you are not comfortable with
  • Accepting gifts, touch, advances or interactions that you do not want
  • Disrespecting others
    • Touching them without permission
    • Off-loading onto someone without checking whether they have the time or capacity to be that person
  • Letting others make decisions for you
  • Expecting others to know what you need or meet your needs automatically
  • Allowing others to take more from you what you have (physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, and sexually)
  • Doing things so people will like you, even though it is not who you are or compromises your values

You can recognize whether you or someone else has healthy/unhealthy boundaries by observing their behaviour. It is possible that if someone has unhealthy boundaries with themselves they might not respect your boundaries even when you implement them.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

@Snowie , @Krishna , @Jacques , @Determined , @Smc

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Unhealthy boundaries arw doing for others what they can do for themselves but dont do

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Thanks for the tag @Daisydreamer !

For me, boundaries provide a safety net and protects. They provide a sense of stability when the world at the moment is so unstable.

Healthy boundaries include boundaries between partners, work colleagues, therapists involving open communication, give-take, acceptance.

Unhealthy boundaries include boundaries that are extremely rigid, inflexible and ultimately more harmful than good.

@cloudcore

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Those are very interesting points @Former-Member

I can see some of them , sorry to say

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Hello and I

Agree @Mezza65

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Agreed @Mezza65, especially about work or study matters on the weekend or free time.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

I find that focusing on a particular person very relevant, as theres too much time I spend online lately.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Hi @JungleGiants ,

Just to clarify, do you mean when people contact you about work or study out-of-hours?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Healthy Relationships in Lockdown // Tues 31st August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Yes get free time after doing things all day and then someone requesting something when you sit down @cloudcore , @Daisydreamer

21 - 30 of 81