Thought that there's something wrong with me.

What a day had a really bad one due to having a really sore back I can't walk or even get out of bed. Being in the bush alone makes things even harder I ran out of water 3 days ago haven't been able to go get more. Being stuck in bed I had barely eaten or had anything to drink. I suffer from blackouts they look like a epilepsy fit very scary for people around me. Normally only happen if I get up too fast. Well today I started having them one after another and I go into auto pilot when it happens. When they started I thought nothing of it till I realised I'm not moveing so I shouldn't have had it so text someone saying I had one. And forgot about it but soon after it started again and when I come out I went into another they lasted about 4 hours. Not realising I was sending out msg inbetween them when it stop long enough I forced my self up to eat something and by luck found water in my car so I booked it anded sugar and had it within an hour I was back to what I call normal lol. Went to my phone and seen that I had sent out msg and had people and the police looking for me. Had to call them all and say I was now ok and it's all under control. Would have to say that was one of my most scary things I've gone through. But at least I have my auto pilot. With everything that been going of late with my mental health, being homeless, seperation and injuries. I had been neglecting and over looking my bodies fundamental needs. The last week has been one big massive learning curve for me. Like I'm finally finding myself and being to find ways of branle to really deal with it instead of ignoring it. This is a hole new world for me. Before the blackouts started I could fell another cycle coming or in other words a down moment is there by any chance that the blackouts could be related to bipolar and borderline personality disorder. If so any info on this area would very much appreciated. If there is anyone else that has these how do you deal with it. I have had them most of my life and never really been a problem but after this I'm in need of help. I need to get home to my mother and other family but I'm still stuck with a broken clutch in my Prado and lockdown looks like it's going continue till Christmas. I'm in some real need of help more than ever. Please help me and guide me to the right people so far everything has ended at a dead end. Thankyou everyone and bless you all. I know I'm a bit full on but if you knew the complete story you would be lost for words not many people can handle hearing it. This is why I'm alone because as they hear it see it it becomes to much for them and I lose them. I am new to all this and never knew what was wrong with me till recently. I'm scared out of my mind and stuck. Once again thank you everyone one of you are amazing people. I value everything I receive you all have been helping more than you can realise xoxoxo

@Judus I'm sorry you called off the emergency help. Do you still have the contact numbers @JoeTheLion and the other @Former-Member sent you a couple of nights ago? You need to call. You need food water and the car fixed and you need a doctor. You also need shelter.

Blackouts could be anything and a gp would need to refer you for tests. I myself have had both neurology tests (EEG) and heart tests. If you're having these 4 hour blackouts it's an emergency and you can call an ambulance. Your mental health is important too and it sounds as though you haven't been looking after yourself but it's time you did.

Please don't try to be Superman. It's not fair on yourself or the people who care about you.

Sorry to speak so strongly but you sound like you're a strong person yourself and your welfare matters to people like the lady who asked you to come back when things were sorted and your mother and the people here on this forum.

Hoping to hear better news in your next message

Dimity

Sorry been quiet for a couple days the seizures really took it out of me. Had to pack up and move to my family. I in need of help and they are going to help me. For the first time in my life I'm accepting help from others. I normally do thing on my own and im the one who helps others. It hard for me to take help form other people. Make me feel like less of a man. I've always been that way do thing on my own.. help others I've always been a strong minded man and always successful but as of late everything falls apart. Couldn't figure it out till I seen the pattern I succeed then I fall in a hole and it all falls apart this time I have big plans and can't have it fall apart. I'm a bit of an inventor tinkerer and it is time to give these things to the world. I love to build this fix things and make them better. Alot of people see my ideas and tell me they are amazing. I'm always told that I could be so rich but I just say it's not about the money it what I like doing it to help people and make things better and easier. That is my nature.

@Judus I'm glad you're in a better situation. It would be a good idea to see a doctor about those blackouts and your mood swings, once you get those sorted you can follow up on your new plans.

Good luck and best wishes.

Hello @Dimity and @Judus I hope things are better for you today Judas. I have to agree with Dimitar that you really need a full medical check up. You also could be diabetic. So please do get help, you matter. So glad you are now in a better situation 💙

Hey @Judus @Dimity @Appleblossom @HenryX

Judus I havn't heard from you and not sure where to look my friend but I just want to let you know that today is my last day. I also want to let you know that you have a beautiful heart just like Dimity and appleblossom. please don't ever blame yourself for how you are today. I was abused and had a lot of trauma as a child. Our salvation was getting moved into a house that a mother and two children had been, let's say taken by God unexpectedly by the father. So there is a lot of us here who truly understands you. I haven't had the courage to tell a psychologist about this. But I hear you and others.

Do the best you can to enjoy all life has to offer as its a lot, truly ❤️💙

Hello @Former-Member ,

Thanks so much for the tag, Always-hope. I was actually looking around for a thread in which I could catch up with you and express my wish that circumstances improve for you and your family.

Unfortunately, I can identify with many of the issues that you have described from my own experience, so can genuinely say that I am sorry about the painful and difficult experiences through which you have been recently.

I will also be happy if we were to meet again and be able to share such concerns as may exist, but more importantly, the good experiences that may have occured for each of us.

With My Very Best Wishes

@HenryX

Sorry I forgot to say you too have a big heart @HenryX Just wondering if the bridge we did free camping at is the same Brooke you wrote about. We took lots of lovely photos of wild flowers there such a pretty place. There is an old rusty car too just back from the river that caught the attention of a few caravan folk. Think it would drop to bits if they tried to move it...Lol

Take care all 🌺

Hugs to you @Former-Member @Judus @HenryX @Appleblossom it's so important to acknowledge, nurture and comfort the hurt child within. In doing that we might be better able to recognise and support others. Your sharing on this forum has been a gift.

It's been a privilege to know you @Former-Member . Best wishes for your continuing journey. Perhaps one day you'll reactivate your account but I accept you've made the best decision in your current situation. Go well my good friend you deserve it.

Dimity

Hello @Former-Member

I was just very pleased that I could make contact because of your tag. However, thank you also for your reference to the quality that you observed.

The site, to which I was referring, is in the upper reaches of the Irwin River, toward Mingenew. It is in the Depot Hill reserve. The reference to the "upper reaches" sounds very grand, but it only runs during the rainy season and has a trickle for the rest of the year, so, in say, Victoria, it would definitely qualify as a creek. There are lots of wildflowers out in the area and it really is lovely at the moment. There are still a few pools of water at the sides of the road, which indicates that the ground still supports growth. We have also had a little more rain in the last few days. I don't recall any rusty car around that location. I actually live inland from there.

A little while ago, I read a note addressed to another friend and me, which I am quite sure will be appreciated and received with pleasure and your advice will be acknowledged.

With My Very Best Wishes

@HenryX