FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

so low

so low

feeling so so low. not communicating well, not functioning well but still somehow pulling on the armour to face work, be a mum. crumbling to dust inside, reserves are gone. i know it, and recognise it and im so angry at myself and feel so guilty that im back here. i just have fail at life on repeat.

trying to focus on the self care stuff, the exercise, fresh air, eating, but dragging myself through fire to do it. nothing seems to be making a dent at the moment. i need sleep most of all but seems thats notup to me, even with light meds.

so over this never ending cycle.

lj

31 replies

1 - 10 of 31
12...4

In response to: so low

Re: so low

Oh @Former-Member i really wish that your circumstances could change so you'd have more time for you but I wanted you to see that when I read your posts I see someone with such incredible strength and will power to push you through this nightmare for your kids. You are an amazing person doing an amazing job. I know you can't feel it but I sincerely hope you get to look back one day and see what a truly remarkable survivor you are. I'm really sorry I can't do anything to take away your pain and suffering right now but I think of you and send you best wishes for strength to keep fighting and the wisdom to take time out for you when you can. Sending hugs💜😊

In response to: Re: so low

Re: so low

Sorry to hear that @Former-Member

You have a lot to offer the kids at school .. and at home

The only way I have managed is to trim commitments.

Go gently with yourself .. we have to extend ourselves to our full limits ... to find out what they actually are.

Post whenever you need, but we know others cant do it for us.

Bella .. you are a beautiful mum ... dont let them knock you down

In response to: Re: so low

Re: so low

Thank you @Former-Member your kindness is overwhelming and i'm greatful. its hard to acknowledge any good inmyself.

@Appleblossom you are a sage of wisdom, and I know you are right, what i need to do and change only i can. coming to those realisations is the somewhat .. easyish bit.. actually forcing myself into action to put things into place feels impossible though.

made it through a long day, dinner is cooking. will just take it step by step until kids are in bed. i think i need to take a day tomorrow to recoup again.

lj

In response to: so low

Re: so low

Hi @Former-Member

How about starting small. Just look at changing one thing. The one you feel is most achievable. Thing of this as the first step. I wouldn't recommend changing anything else until you feel comfortable with the one change you have made.
Thinking of you 💕

In response to: Re: so low

Re: so low

hi all, @Appleblossom @Former-Member @PeppiPatty

sorry @Kurra my brain is so over the place at the moemnt i struggle to respond to anything. I have been trying to make sure that no matter what i exercise every day. and have almost managed it. but maybe not enough to make a difference i dont know. i think when im out sometimes i feel a bit lighter but then the low and anxiuosness is back and i cant think again.

so much on this week. taking kids on a choir camp. panic stations in getting everything organised. daughter has school swimming and the kids are staying somewhere new for the nights im away, also making me feel very nervious and jittery.

i dont usually stay this low for this length of time either and that is scaring me but i have these thoughts in my head that i can't do anything... permannent to myself until these obligations/dates are finished. so im just dragging myself forwards through those.

lj

In response to: so low

Re: so low

Hi @Former-Member
You're doing what you can and that's heaps. You are achieving so much more than you're able to recognise at the moment. Keep on keeping on! 💕

In response to: Re: so low

Re: so low

Camps are a lot of work ... but hope you get some joy and satisfaction from it too. Glad they actually have a choir camp .. lucky kids ...

Separation is stressful .. so know it is normal and dont put any unhelpful labels on it .. at least you will gauge how your kids manage it ..

day by day .... singing ... walking ...

In response to: Re: so low

Re: so low

thanks @Appleblossom and @Kurra

i had such a long day today and feel like im coming down with a cold, sore throat and runny nose! not so great for our last rehearsal lol but ok, was probably better for the kids to have a practice 'on their own' so to speak. have so much to do, so much going on in everything! need some energy from somewhere!

hope you are both well,

lj

In response to: Re: so low

Re: so low

@Former-Member

Hi Lisajane

My name is Rick.

It sounds like this is ground you have had to stomp through many times.

Sometimes it's the memory of often we have done this that drains us. Sometimes.

The revolving door of treatment resistance, or chronic acuteness or just tthe fact that it's happening all over again can knock us down.

Simply by communicationg as you have in this safe place, you reach out for the reflection of your resilience.

Sometimes we don't want to hear we are strong, resilient or courageous. But we are.

you must be. How else could you share? I have studied mental illness for most of my adult life. In the end the conclusion I have come to?

we are mighty. We must be to ride the whirlwind. Because we are mighty, we are tired. Might only ever shows when needed. And the use of that might makes us tired.

But there is a special thing I have learned also.

We are unique in our humanity. We deal with invisible illness. Those who won't see cant see. And even those who would can't always see enough. So we must be mighty.

Over thirty now I have walked this path on constant strain and sorrows. With no control over what my brain thinks and how I feel.

But I'm still here. And I know I am mighty.Because how else would I keep going.

I feel very deeply for you. I empathise for the lonliness and difficulty of living with this.

You will go on. I'm sure of it.

Kepp posting. Keep talking. Keep sharing.

we are here, in this safe place for you

Rick

In response to: Re: so low

Re: so low

thank you @Rick

you're right, i think it is a combination of that revolving door and walking in a circle through the holes, crevices and dark spaces.

thank you for being here. for seeing and hearing and understanding... though i wish you didnt for your own sake too.

i have so much still to do tonight and cant seem to concentrate on any of it. one minute on and 10 minutes brain floating in crazy town.

lj

1 - 10 of 31
12...4