Wobbly after Hospital

Hi @Rosemary4

It was my pleasure - it’s so lovely to hear from you

Thank you so much for your patience in relation to the amount of time that it has taken for me to be able to reach back to you

That’s so kind of you of to ask about me - thank you so much

Lately, I’ve been struggling with migraine headaches that just seem to come out of nowhere. Just when the symptoms begin to ease and I think that I’ve turned the corner, they return! Apart from resting and taking the medication that’s been prescribed by my GP, there’s not too much else that I can do which I find really upsetting as they impact so many areas of my life.

I can really appreciate how challenging it can be to concentrate and as such, I just ever so gently wanted to reassure you that there’s absolutely no pressure or expectations in relation to how much you’re able to share, or how long it may take for you to be able to reach back

I’m so deeply sorry to hear that you’ve been wrestling with thoughts of suicide and my heart goes out to you

In my experience, this is such a painful place to be and as I read this part of your story, I could hear such a profound sense of distress and despair and how it took everything that you had to be able to keep yourself safe

The feelings of desperation, hopelessness, fear and anxiety that so often accompany thoughts of suicide can be absolutely excruciating and in my experience, this can result in a level of pain that’s all consuming and impossible to ignore.

In my experience, it can be incredibly distressing and lonely when opportunities for connection are few and far between, time limited or we don’t feel safe to share what’s happening for us due to the potential consequences.

As I listened to your experiences, I just ever so gently wanted to reassure you that you’re always welcome to contact the SANE Help Centre if you felt that you needed some additional support

Basically, the Help Centre is staffed by qualified mental health professionals who provide support to people who are living with complex mental health issues.

I’ve contacted the Helpline on several occasions and I’ve always had a really positive experience where I felt supported and understood

If you would like to contact them, their telephone number is: 1800 18 7263.

They operate Monday to Friday from 10.00am until 10.00pm AEST.

In addition to telephone support, they also provide support via web chat and email.

I’ve included the link below, just in case this is something that you would like to explore further:

https://www.sane.org/counselling-support/sane-support-services

Absolutely There was a time last year when I suddenly realised that I’d forgotten to fill one of my prescriptions! At this time, I just didn’t have the capacity to organise myself and schedule an appointment with my doctor and as a result, I went without taking this particular medication for a little under a fortnight!

Finding ways to calm our minds and our bodies when we feel restless and agitated can be incredibly challenging and in my experience, it can take time to understand our needs and how to address them. As such, I think that you’ve done so well to be able to identify some of the things that work for you

I felt really moved when you shared how taking your dog for a walk was only possible for you ‘when I’m not scared everyone’s looking at me.’ As I sat here thinking about this part of your story, I remembered that when we first began talking, you shared some of your fears in relation to going outside and as such, I just ever so gently wondered if these are some of the fears that you’re currently experiencing

Also, I just wanted to share with you that I’ve decided to take some time away from the forums and so please don’t worry if it takes me even longer to reach back to you

In the meantime, please know that I’ll be thinking of you and sending you some very gentle and caring hugs at such a difficult time

I look forward to talking with you again soon

Take care of yourself,

ShiningStar

Thank you @ShiningStar and sorry about your migraines, but also that you're pulling back from the forums. I understand (in part I think) and I will miss you. You need to do what you need to do. I'm not good support sorry. God is teaching me humility, to consider others more important than me, and that my treasures lay in a different world, heaven I guess (which I feel is not far away for me anyway). My CM visited yesterday, I didn't let her in (because of the mess embarrassment) but we talked on the driveway a bit. Funny how we need help but get caught up in the excitement of actually having a visitor and not knowing how long we'll have them. Nice in the moment & she gets to tick her box... all sad 😢 Ssorry but I hate goodbyes, have to go.

All the best to you all 💌

Hi @Rosemary4

Are you still around. I will be here for about 1/2 hr if you would like to chat. (till about 11.00 pm W.A. time or 1.30 am Eastern Time)

Best Wishes

@HenryX

Hi @Rosemary4

It’s so lovely to hear from you

I just wanted to reach out to say that I’m so deeply sorry that my last message caused you so much distress and confusion

Please know that this was never my intention and I’m so sorry that I unintentionally communicated that I was leaving the forums permanently, as opposed to just taking some time away

As such, I just ever so gently wanted to say that I’m still here and I would love to continue talking with you whenever you feel ready and / or able to reach out

In the meantime, please know that I’m thinking of you and sending you some very gentle and caring hugs

Take care of yourself,

ShiningStar

Hi @HenryX and @ShiningStar, thanks for your messages. How are Yas?

I'm ok, bur a bit flat, and struggle going out, and think I'm losing all my friends, but don't care much anymore.

I'm so sick of the superficial nature of general conversations these days. And many just want to keep me stuck in the MI box, look down at me, presume greater understanding.

Made a mistake recrntly sharing mt grief with one friend recently and and got this rediculous long email asking me when I last saw my doctor, and telling me I needed urgent professional help before it's too late... It seemed. It shook me a bit but it was so left field, and I'm not suicidal....i'll probably just not bother with that friend much anymore. I don't need friends who misjudge & flip me off and don't listen... why can't ppl just accept how we are without trying to box & fix us? I so wish I didn't tell her how I was dealing with a recent bad anniversary.

Kinda doing ok I think, coming to terms with being alone. I kept busy today.
* tdied up and photographed a few things to sell on gumtree.
* fixed a broken table leg
* set up a tarp outside back door for privacy and dry area with all this rain about, and the neighbour looks down into my courtyard a lot, i don't like that..
* Did the bins and dishes
* planted out a beautiful purple salvia that's got so big &:kept drying out in the pot.
Had to rest a few times as everything's such an effort... muscle fatigue, but I pushed myself bit harder today, to get a bit more done. Just outa shape I suppose
Anyway, only just found your posts. Thanks. I've been enjoying the 'ice memory' thread tonight, few good laughs 🤣

Hello @Rosemary4 and @ShiningStar , @Appleblossom , @Alicat , @Shaz51

and others visiting this thread

Hi @Rosemary4 ,

I can understand the tendency to isolation, but am pleased to hear that you are accomplishing some of the tasks around home.

This is just a short message to say "Hi" and let you know that you are in our thoughts. Thank you for your message. It is reassuring when people have positive things to say about themselves and their activities. Thank you.

Tonight I am feeling a little jaded, but I have a fairly long trip tomorrow, so I had better get myself to bed,

With Best Wishes

@HenryX

@Rosemary4

Sorry, I only just read your reply to my last post back on page 2. You did not tag me and so I never realised you had posted it back in June.

Hearing you about superficial conversations. I still have not mastered the art socially chatting and only revealing a comfortable amount of personal information. I tend to manage it strictly as superficial, but if I am fully me, too much seems to come out of my mouth. People say it is personal choice, but I do not feel that it is so, as probably my prefrontal cortex is overwhelmed, and I have to work very hard to manage an "appropriate" amount of revealing.

I had babies around when my sister passed, so had to make myself focus on the present. In a way it short circuited my natural grieving process, so periodically I do catch up grieving when it seems necessary now. I have framed photos of her and wrote poems about her, and visited her grave, she is buried with my father. I probably spent a lot less time with her than you did with yours as we were separated a lot. I lived with her for 4 years ( when I was 12-16) when she came back from the foster homes, and 2 years when she was a baby, before we all went into "care". Our circumstances were very complicated.

So maybe you would find it even harder to stop obssessing than me. Some of the obssessing is the natural need to work through memories, and feelings of loss, so it is not necessarily the wrong thing to do, which is why paying good attention to it, and making it physical somehow that reflects her or your relationship. Maybe something small symbolising her humour and her pain. I do not look at my photos of her a lot now, but when my eye rests on one, I usually just feel my love for her, tinged with gentle sadness, but it is no longer full blown grief.

I find it easier to relate to nature, than the human world finds it possible to relate to me. Its good that you replanted the salvia. A caring act. Gardening is great for working through seasons of grief and seasons of growth and the natural cycles and all that.

But we all do need to drink from the waterhole of some social acceptance and belonging.

Gouldian finches at waterhole

Apple

Thanks @HenryX 💙 hope you pick up soon, and you' travel well today. Where you off to?

Really wet here so it's a good book, music and PJ day for me ☔💕