Introduction

Hi @HenryX

I have done two Telehealth sessions with my psych now. They are not so bad although I was left a bit emotional after today’s session as we discussed my family dynamics (as in my birth family). I saw my sister yesterday and she gave me a couple of lovely photo books that she had put together of my two overseas trips. That left me feeling a bit confused because although I really don’t want much contact with her I now feel like I owe her something. Perhaps a purposeful manipulation on her part. So this afternoon I decided to mail her a thank you card and let my owing her end there. The problem is is that she wants to throw a family get together for my daughter. In April it will be her 21st birthday and she is also leaving for Hawaii to study at an American College for 4years. So really it will be the last family get together for a long time. I really don’t want to see certain members of my family as we had a falling out about 4 years ago and haven’t spoken since. I did decide today though that there is a member of my dysfunctional family that I do want a relationship with so I rang her and made plans to see her this coming Wednesday. We are going to catch the train into the city and meet there. So I am really looking forward to that. I haven’t seen her in several years. Unfortunately she lives a million miles from me. We are about as far north of the river as you can get and she lives about as south of the river as you can get. So it’s about an hour and a half in the car and even longer by train.

I haven’t started my studies yet but I did go into the University and bought a second hand book from the guild book shop. It was a relief to get a copy because it was out of stock everywhere online.

you must excuse me as my dinner is ready. Back soon.

Meggle

Hi @Oaktree

You've got it. Also, looking at your results, I've got to work four times harder to catch up. You really started with a burst. I am working at getting a steady amount done each day. Steady, except when I get angry, at me or them, because we don't agree. Then I have to leave it for a while, cool off and work on it again in the afternoon or next morning.

Hope everything else is going well for you @Oaktree.

With Best Wishes

@HenryX

Hi @Oaktree

It was only when my post took me to the next page that I realised that you had written a more detailed post after the previous two.

I am pleased that your tele-health sessions seem to be productive.

With regard to your sister's gift of the photo books, it is sometimes difficult not to wonder or think that there might be an ulterior motive or an intention to purposely manipulate you, or a situation. Now my relationship history is testament to the fact that I don't know girls very well. However, I think that it would be pleasant to accept and acknowledge the gift as if it did not need to be reciprocated as something owed. I think that mailing "her a thank you card and let my owing her end there." is a good and appropriate response.Any other interaction after that possibly should not be connected but treated separately.

What I see in the 13 lines following "the card" is

• A family birthday party for your daughter's 21st,
• Your daughter is going to study in Hawaii for 4 years
• A last truly family get-together for probably that time
• You don't want to see certain members of the family -
  • Falling out
  • No communication since
• Reference to dysfunctional family
• One member who you would like to see. She has responded positively to your suggestion and you have arranged to catch up this Wednesday.
• Long time since last meeting
• While it is a fairly long trip for both of you, I know that you used to travel to your choir, so it is not unfamiliar to you
• It may be less familiar for your relative, however, she may also enjoy the trip, particularly if it is something different and takes her to a pleasant meeting with you

Now, if I have summarised those 13 lines correctly, there is a lot of information there. And, it is all mixed in together. I do not know if this rings a bell for you. However, if you would like me to talk with you about all that information and where you might want to go with it, I would be happy to do so. However, I do not want to impose or intrude if my involvement may cause you those feelings.

I am pleased that you were able to purchase the book that you need for your course. I am familiar with the guild book shop though it has probably changed a lot since I went there to purchase books.

For this year, I am considering taking on studies through the Open Universities online program, applications for which, I believe, close on about the 20 Feb., so I had better sort out what I wish to do pretty quickly if I want to get in for this semester.

Look forward to talking with you again soon

With Best Wishes

@HenryX

Wow @HenryX

Firstly glad to have connected with you on Duolingo- I had not realised that that was you. I did wonder at the time why some random was adding me and where they had even found me lolz.

I guess I did unload a lot of information there as summarised by your bullet points. I am happy for you to weigh in on any or all of it.

Good on you for taking on University studies! That’s amazing and will do wonders for keeping your brain active. What are you hoping to study? Yes you will have to move on that quickly if you intend to start this semester.

You don’t have to work to catch up on Duolingo. I have been doing too much and am trying to back off. My new goal is 15 minutes per day. In fact you are ahead of me in the French as I have done only a few lessons. Don’t stress. It’s just a fun challenge to learn a language. My Spanish is going quite well actually.

Anyway nice to chat with you my friend!

Meggle

Dear @HenryX

I have been patiently waiting for you to tell me what it is that you hope to study this semester.

I got online today and completed one of my 3 compulsory study modules for my first semester of study at UWA. It was an Indigenous Study Essentials module. I only had to get 8/10 in the quiz to pass. I got 9/10 but I feel a bit cheated on the lost 10%. The module said that not all artwork has been produced with the correct permissions. Then the question was about a student who had produced an assignment using Noongar authors and he had gotten permission to use the artworks. The question was had he followed protocols correctly. I said no because even if he had gotten permission from the artists that the artwork may have been produced without consent. I feel a bit miffed but I did actually pass the quiz so that should be good enough. The perfectionist in me doesn’t like it.

I have a class about enrolment at the university tomorrow. I am looking forward to going by train and finding the correct bus stop in the city to get to the university. It will settle my nerves knowing that I know my way to get there.

Orientation week starts on the 21st. I am looking forward to that. Study actually begins on Monday the 28th and I have decided to only take 1 unit both this semester and next to settle in. I will wait and see how well my mental health behaves before putting myself under a heavier load.

I am really looking forward to my studies this year. It will be a great challenge and something to stretch my mind a little.

I am looking forward to hearing all about what you might be doing.

Meggle

Hello @Oaktree

Yes, I am progressing with the Duolingo French course. I have, through family and friends, been familiar with the language and have done a little work before. The Duolingo site structure and learning program seems to have improved since I last used it. So that is a pleasant surprise. Appreciate that it is a non competitive challenge, but always good to have a partner to keep the pace going

Reference the dot-point separation of sentences. When I separated the "bag of haggis", as I thought of it, into individual sentences, I became less confused and overwhelmed. It occurred to me that if the thoughts were in your mind in the same way as they appeared 'on the page', it would have been difficult to sort out the separate ideas. The idea of sorting a load of laundry from the dryer comes to mind. None of what I am saying is meant or intended to be derogatory, but just images to portray ideas. If we have to go to a basket and find the right pair of slacks, shirt, socks, etc, every time we get dressed, we are creating extra work for ourselves. It is only when the clothing is sorted and put into their respective drawers and the wardrobe that they become easily accessible when we want them. Ask me how I know.

I think that ideas are much the same. When they are separated and laid out in order, we can deal with each one individually, rather than as part of a collective jumble. Looking at the list that I presented, each of the elements can be dealt with individually. They need not necessarily be connected with each other.

For example,

• Daughters 21st birthday party - Great, lets do it
• Sister's involvement - genuine altruism or manipulation?
  • Is it my concern?
  • Can I simply and graciously accept the offer and be done with it?
  • Am I worried that something good or bad will come out of it?.
• Other family members with whom difficulties exist
  • I don't have to live with them; but I can cope with a civil and possibly enjoyable meeting at a gathering for celebration, and believe it or not, I would be happy to welcome them for my daughter's sake
• Daughter going away ...... for four years ....... oh that's hard to deal with!!!! - but it is not necessarily connected with everything or anything else. That is something for me to deal with personally, maybe with help from someone special - a special friend or relative - someone maybe separate from my day to day life.
• Dysfunctional family - mine is not the only one - in fact it is quite common (unfortunately) but does that mean we stop living our lives?
• etc, etc

So, what I am doing is separating each issue, event, occurrence, future possibly positive events .... into separate pockets or drawers and dealing with each one separately, rather than looking at a pile of unsorted washing or a "bag of haggis". Alright, the comparisons are not exactly glamorous, but I hope that I have conveyed my meaning. and whatever I have written in terms of interpretation is just that, it is my interpretation which should be replaced by your own.

My study plans? I am considering doing a "Bach of Psych and Counselling" through ECU (WA). It appears to be the most practically oriented course that I would have some chance of using, assuming I remain in relatively good health for a few years to come. So I have lodged an initial enquiry and the enrolment has to be completed, I believe, by this Wed 16th for a start this semester.

I can relate to the perfectionist issue and the angst at losing those ten points. Are you doing your course by personal attendance or is it conducted online?

Like you, I will take a soft start with a limited study load till I know that I will be comfortable and cope with the schedule. And to rebuild confidence. At the moment I am just rolling without much momentum. However, once I get underway I do believe that I will enjoy the study process.

Well , that's it for me now. I can hear thunder, there have been a few flashes of lightening and it has just started raining. The power has cut three times, for about a minute, in the last 30 minutes. Might have to get the generator operational again.

Well, that's it for me now,

With Best Wishes

@HenryX

Dear @HenryX

First to deal with all of your news!
It’s great that you are enjoying Duolingo more now than the last time that you used the program. Yes I suppose it is just friendly competition to inspire us to get moving. Maybe a little extra motivation to continue studying our languages. I struggle with competition as I get a little carried away. I enjoy winning far too much.

It’s great that you too are taking on psychology and counselling. I wonder if your personal experience with your counsellor inspired you to tackle this course of study. I know for myself that my psychologist was an inspiration to me. I admire her for the work she does and the people she tries to help including me. Perhaps we will be able to compare notes as we go along in our courses. I will be doing my study on campus but I have to do 3 online modules in my first semester. I did the indigenous one today but the other two are not available yet. My guess is that you will be studying online as you are regional.

Thanks for sorting out my metaphorical washing. I also know what it’s like to live finding my washing ing the washing baskets. My washing rarely gets folded and put away as there is just so much of it and I have little storage space. This means that if I do fold it I can’t find enough homes for it and it sits on the kitchen table.

Yes a party for my daughter would be a nice thing to do for her and that is why I have decided to go through with it. I gave her the choice and she was not fussed either way. It might be nice to see some members of the family. I guess I can tolerate the one family member that I had a falling out with for a couple of hours. I will just try and be cordial and play happy families.

I am ok about my daughter leaving to go overseas. Yes 4 years is a long time but I believe that it will be very good for her. She will grow up and mature a lot. She might even learn to get around the world without expecting a lift. She does not yet have her drivers license. I also think that it will be good for our relationship as we are very similar in nature and butt heads quite a bit.

I might end here and start a new post to stop from getting dreaded error message.

Meggle

Hi again @HenryX

Yes my ideas did just jumble out of my brain onto the page like a pile of haggis. It makes me laugh picturing that but it is pretty accurate. Yes unfortunately my family is not the only dysfunctional family out there. I guess that’s why there is so much work for psychologists to do. I suppose your family was dysfunctional too but no we don’t let that stop us from living our lives. There is no time for poor me’s. We just have to try and live our best lives.

I think that a soft start to study is a good idea. We are not as young as the kids that are going full time and we are well out of the habit of studying. These kids that have just come through high school have a definite advantage as they are used to managing a full load. Anyway why hurry. It’s not about the destination for us but more for us to enjoy our journey. I don’t know about you but I am not planning on using my education for employment purposes. More for a personal challenge and enjoyment. I am already 51 and my mental health is not the greatest. I do enjoy being master of my own destiny. I have been a home body for many many years. It would be nice if I could find a way to use this degree but I have to attain it first. That’s my main goal - to actually achieve getting a degree.

I am looking forward to studying psychology. I have found my personal investigations into schema therapy and such to be intensely interesting. I don’t really know what my broadening units will be yet but there is the possibility of doing Spanish studies. That would be with language units as well as a cultural and a literature unit. I don’t know though it’s so hard to choose. That is why I am going to this enrolment class tomorrow.

I am pretty excited about this semester as you may be able to tell. I hope that you get your enrolment sorted before Wednesday so you too may make a start.

The weather at your place sounds humid. It has been fairly hot today although not as bad as others so far this summer. It has been a long hot summer and I am pretty ready for it to be over. Lucky you have a Geni. We just have to wait for the power to come back on when it fails. We have underground power here so we don’t lose power too often.

Nice hearing from you.

Love Meggle

Hi @HenryX

I just came back from the University. I went to a pre enrolment class as I wanted to add a second major but I didn’t know where to find a list of the majors. I was interested in behaviour and neuroscience but it has too many units to make work. However if I was to transfer over to a Bachelor of Science degree in Neuroscience then I could fit the Bachelor of Psychology in as a second major so I might just do that. I love science so I think that I will find that interesting. Regardless I am still planning to only take one unit both this semester and next to make a softer start. That will give me the opportunity to get used to referencing and assignment layout and other such details.

I am glad that I took the trip into the university on the train and bus today. Now I know about how long it will take realistically to get there so I can get there in time for classes. I also know exactly where to go at Elizabeth Quay to actually get on the bus. Which stand it leaves from.

I also downloaded a lost on campus app today which will help me to navigate the university campus. I found the library today so that’s good. I think I will spend s lot of time in there. I was pleased to find the right lecture hall today. I used a small map on my phone that came with my confirmation email to find it today. I am hopeful that the lost on campus app will make it easier to navigate the campus in future.

I am looking forward to Wednesday as I will be meeting my Sister in law whom I have not seen for several years but whom I love dearly. She has a hoarding problem so it is difficult to go to her house. We are meeting in the city instead. We will probably get a bite for lunch while we are there. I think we will have a lot to talk about. I was just chatting to her on messenger and she mentioned that her son had been suicidal when he was in grade 5. I hadn’t known that. He is 14 now and doing much better. He has a few disabilities.

Anyway talk later

Meggle

Hi @HenryX

So I just spent hours and hours battling with the university handbook. My final decision is to do the Psychology Major with a Spanish Major and 3 unrelated units of study. It was very hard to make my study plan work out while trying not to overload myself. Hubby got concerned over my idea to do the additional science major. So I had a rethink.

Meggle