I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

Thank you for your response @saltandpepper Today is another day and it's not like yesterday.

What does one do in this situation? Perhaps I should just not seek help from those who have enough problems of their own - but so many words of wisdom are ushered here on this forum!

Anyway, take care. I hope things are looking up for you.

Thank you for your response @Former-Member Yes, sometimes others' posts ring true with our own, don't they?

You mention your own dysfunctional family. There seem to be a lot of them. That's what I have been trying to fix. They are everywhere. I have been trying for so long, thinking patience was a virtue, thinking it would give everyone clear air to sort themselves out - including myself, but I hadn't noticed that things have moved on and everyone has grown up and older. I simply hadn't noticed that I have been left behind trying to save everyone else! And it has come as quite a shock.

You're quite right - that after undergoing therapy we are not the same person they used to relate to, and our responses to them are different also. It's rather a quandary - that we become corrected but lose our place even in our own family.

Yes, I do have to find other places to fit in. I have tried everything, everywhere, but nothing works for me for long. It seems I rub everyone the wrong way - effortlessly. I have even considered that I am self-sabotaging because I know how it will work out. Or perhaps things are not as I imagined and I should just keep trying - but they always continue to worsen. I just don't gel with anyone anymore.

The 'digging in of heels' is exactly the reason I have not even tried to re-establish with my daughters. It just gives them power over me. I've always been here for them but that gives them power over me too. It's the same for them all. There is no salvaging anything of my family. We've all moved on and are no longer compatible. And I can't find anything or anywhere else to try. I think I've almost run out of options. Even volunteering is difficult without a reference.

"You can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink" used to be a saying of my father. And it is so true.

Another day looms. Perhaps something will improve. Take care.

@chibam We have had similar experiences with therapists - so I have to ask you if you have ventured back to try again with another therapist?

And also - how are you going?

Hey @Historylover

Regarding lived experience and peer partnerships.. This is starting to be pushed as a method of helping.

Here is one i have these recently,

https://livedexperiencestudio.com/meetsonny

https://www.paywhatyoucanpeersupport.com/

They may be able to help direct you to service locally that does offer peer support and they both understand that money can be hard to come by sometimes. I hope that information helps you to know that the way mental health is treated is changing and evolving in the way you want but may just not be mature enough for what you need at his point.

Don't give up hope. I read your reply, you are bearing your soul, and your soul is a great piece of artwork, we just need to find the right wall to hang it so it can be admired by those who appreciate the value you can bring to their life.

I had a look, but those sites are not for me @AussieRecharger - but thank you for thinking of me. My now retired, ex-psychiatrist could cure a ball of its bounce. Unfortunately he had no qualms about then puncturing it when he thought it most beneficial to him. I may find someone somewhere who can help, and hope to get some relief from this situation.

I read your post but don't have the physical discomfort you describe. I hope it all works out well for you. Take care.

---

@Historylover wrote:

@chibam We have had similar experiences with therapists - so I have to ask you if you have ventured back to try again with another therapist?

---

No.

But there's an important distinction between us with regards to that question. You seem to have a love-hate situation with your ex-therapist (for lack of a better way of putting it); in some ways you seem to be appreciative of your treatment, but in other ways you've found it destructive.

I only have a hate-hate thing with my therapist. There was no good in there, whatsoever.

In recent months, I'd been swayed by many things I'd been reading suggesting a massive shift in the way the mental health system works. I was starting to believe that maybe, in the near future, there may well be some sense to reaching out for help again.

But the problem with those reports is that they are all written with jargon that is near-impossible to truly understand. I've come to suspect that I put an overly-optimistic spin on what I initially read but did not directly understand. Recent revelations lead me to believe that the system will not be geared to offer actual help in the foreseeable future. So there's really no point in me thinking about going back to it. I'm probably too old now to get started on a decent life, anyway.

---

@Historylover wrote:

And also - how are you going?

---

Being worn down by a lot of the lesser hassles of life, TBH. Appliance glitches and the like. And also worrying about the future of society; especially in terms of our mental health system and ideology. How can they expect people to stick it out, when people can no longer reasonably believe that there will, in the near future, be at least some small corner of the world where life is actually worth enduring?

@Historylover

Thanks for at least having a look. Have you thought of rather than going and looking for answers or a cure, go with the thought that you have all the answers, you need the find the right questions. Kinda like the difference between sale of the century and Jeopardy. You have all the knowledge, so go and teach and allow those who are trying to help gain the knowledge that you can impart in them.. Warts and all 🙂 . Good luck with what ever you choose.

I

@chibam

EDIT: My love-hate relationship has again returned. He really did a number on me. I am so sorry to lumber you with this now-deleted outpouring. Sometimes when we start expressing our disillusionment and hurt, it is like a release valve.

Hoping you are well, chibam.

I am rather exhausted by a long reply to chibam, @AussieRecharger so I will have to make this short.

Your words speak of someone who has great insight and you seem to be just looking for your niche - like so many of us. Our proper fit. You are well on your way. Best wishes for all the good luck you deserve. And sincere thanks for your input.

Hello @Historylover @AussieRecharger @chibam @Former-Member @saltandpepper

I have quickly read through all of your posts.

I say quickly as I have to get ready to go to a life celebration event for a late friend who passed suddenly.

It takes me forever to do anything these days, including getting ready to go out.

I have been self isolating again and also dissociate; often not realising that I am doing this until I speak to someone on the phone.

I can resonate with much that has been said here at the same time have a different perspective on some of the points raised.

As a a few have mentioned, this is good.

Take care and hope to check back in soon.