Have been hiding in the shadows for a while

@MrAlias550,

I agree with @Former-Member, it would be best for you to talk things over with an experienced psychologist, but definitely see the the doctor first. Take the list you have put together with all your symptoms on it. The doctor might give you a questionnaire to fill in there and then to get an idea as to where you are at regarding your mood and possible depression.

Your doctor will also be able to recommend a psychologist/counsellor who is experienced with your particular problems.

Talking to a psychologist is not that much different than talking to us here on the forum. You might have to go over a few scenarios that you have experienced and talk about how they made you feel. It sounds like you are already in touch with your emotions... so I don't think you will find therapy that difficult.

I can understand your anger at the car dealer who sold you the demo model. It does sound like he deliberately misled you. I would be pissed off too! Have you thought about contacting the ombudsman and making a report? It's not the money.... but it's the fact that he tried to hide the added cost from you. When a car is "drive away and no more to pay" then you expect there to be no more to pay. You can't drive away an unregistered vehicle, can you? So the advertising they are using is very deceptive. You are absolutely within your rights to complain. Anyone would.

As for your job, I guess you feel very stuck, because you don't see yourself leaving, but you don't see yourself talking to your work-mates about the policies in your workplace that bother you, either. So you have decided to stay and just put up with everything. But deciding to stay is also a decision. As long as recognise it as a considered decision and you can live with it, then there is no problem in staying. It's when you fail to see that you have choices that you become really stuck.

Also, I don't think anyone, let alone your wife, would want you to sacrifice your own happiness for theirs. This is not natural or healthy! No-one is expected to live this way. It's the life of a slave. You have every right to find satisfaction in your work.

You should not see your own happiness as less important that that of your wife (or anyone else). How can you be a good husband if you are not happy?

Clarify what you mean by "feelling numb" Mr Alias.I felt the numbness with severe depression and that means you are withdrawing and slipping away from yourself.If this is the case you need to save yourself,to save your life otherwise believe me please you are jeopardizing your life and livelihood .We get that you like to keep your wife happy like buying a fish tank,but if you dont take the step of walking into a doctor's office and getting help you are putting everything in your life at risk.If you are feeling numb I have been there and it's a long road back believe me ...you lose yourself and you are no longer any use to anyone,a very scary feeling because you are no longer functioning.Get support PLEASE .You have stated two symptoms of severe depression numbness and withdrawal.