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Have been hiding in the shadows for a while

Have been hiding in the shadows for a while

Hi Everybody I am MrAlias,

Have been a long time lurker but never brave enough to post until now. MrsAlias has been pressuring me to get help for over a year now, but it has never been high on my priority list. As I mentioned, I have been observing this forum for a while now; but I am yet to find anything similar.

My goal is to see a doctor and posting here seems like a logical step to achieving this. Aside from my wife, I have never told anybody about what I am going through. Even though it has been effecting my prospects of a promotion at work for years (among other things).

As you may have guessed I am not very good with the whole people thing, so with the help of MrsAlias, we have prepared a list of symptoms which I am going to take with me to my doctors appointment. When ever I gather up the courage to book one... I have been like this for a good four years now.

*Difficulty expressing emotions
*Cold hearted and uncompassionate
*Gets overly angry with people who are rude to MrsAlias or myself
*Get overly angry with myself when I stuff up
*Suicidal thoughts (almost attempted once but i was arrested before i could follow through with it)
*Unforgiving, holds grudges (against people who are rude or mean to my wife or me)
*Distrusts people (colligues and strangers alike)
*No friends
*No interest in socialising or making friends (even with family)
*Prefer to be alone
*Anxious bordering panic attack when in large crowds like a shopping center

So yeah what do you think?.. Nice to meet you all.

MrAlias


32 replies

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In response to: Have been hiding in the shadows for a while

Re: Have been hiding in the shadows for a while

Hi @MrAlias550,

yes, I saw a doctor, then eventually a psychiatrist, when the first round of prescribed medication didn't work too well for me.

I was seeing a psychiatrist regularly and taking medication for anxiety, panic attacks and depression and I didn't disclose this to my work. Nor did anyone at work guess that I was even sick!

There is no pressure to tell anyone at work that you have mental health problems. It is no-one else's business but yours. If you need to take sick-leave then you sick-leave certificate from your doctor will not specify the nature of your illness, as @Kurra says.

If you remain mysterious about what illness you have, people will just assume it's something no-one wants to admit to- like hemorrhoids or something! If people are curious and you want to give them an answer, then you could always just describe some of your physical symptoms - like heart palpitations or insomnia or something like that. That's what a friend of mine did.

In response to: Have been hiding in the shadows for a while

Re: Have been hiding in the shadows for a while

Mr Alias

I have been through Doctors,psychologist,mental health and to tell the truth I.am having one of my days where I feel it was all a waste of time because my depression and hopelessness is at its peak. However it's as I have said before you are taking a risk not seeking help yet you are still debating the decision to seek help.I seeked help because it was a lifeline to try and save my life,you are worried a diagnosis will end your career.

Just go to the doctor,if you haven't got one when you ring a surgery ask the receptionist who is good with mental health,and just take it from there.If you aren't happy with the doctor seek a second opinion,.No one in the world or workplace health is perfect, everyone's got a weakness.You know you've got something wrong but don't know what it is.I didn't know why I was getting distressed ,or couldnt get out of bed.At the time I didn't know if it was a physical or psychological problem.I left it too long to go to a doctor as I had problems for a long time in the workplace eg: feeling very tired,insommia badly,couldnt cope with workplace bullying.I didn't know the distress was anxiety or the numbness was depression.You need to know what is wrong so you have the chance to manage the condition.I didn't get help until I left the workplace .Go to the doctor and see it as a way of preventing this problem having catastrophic consequences.I can see you are fearing what this problem may cause both private and in the workplace.Stop procrastinating.You have too much to lose you are young,married and probably want a family I imagine.Even to put a name to what is wrong at times is a relief.

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