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Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Hi all

I will need to change names to keep it anonymous so here goes. I need some advice over how to process what happened 2 days ago at work.

On Tuesday afternoon at work I was sitting there doing whatever work I'm meant to. The manager (call her D) comes over to talk to me and ask me how I am etc. D asks what I'm doing in life at the moment, if I was full-time yet, what I am studying etc. I replied by saying that I was still going in my job to which D replies "oh isn't that bad is it?"
This brief interchange took place in the open so that everyone around could hear it. I told D what it was that I was studying and then D drags in N (one of the young ones who works at this work stations) into the chat we are having because he studied that too. Both ask where I am studying at and I said it was online.
As this is taking place, I noticed two people listening in and smiling while its going on. One of them is P (who i know to be relatively new to their role) who i tried to talk to in the morning when I had to deliver some stuff to them. Had nothing to say to me except the basics. The other person listening in someone called T (who has been there a while).
so the manager "D" would have no reason to actually care how I was or what I was doing. Last time I was there at that workstation, she got told about my trip to hospital and that I was badly treated there. In this particular work stations there is an "in group" who I think are close to her. Towards the end of last year i accidentally tagged someone from that workstations in an email (lets call that employee R) and R found out about what myself and my friend J (who quit) thought about this work station.
I believe in simple terms, what has happened is that my confidence has been breached in light of me mistakenly tagging R in an email chain. Then because R is in the in group with T and N, they have told the manager "D" about what I said and D has then told them all about what happened to me last year in relation to hospital.

The reason I think this has happened is because of the way I was treated last time, but also this time people were not talking to me. Only a few people did bother and then when that happened I was unaware if they were interested or they were merely keeping up appearances. Only the "out group" spoke to me at any length and more or less avoided me.

The out group at this work station are the ones who are treated like shite. The ones they underpay and overwork. The people who don't wanna say anything about the way they are treated because they are worried about how they will get treated. At about 5 mins before the end of the work day, one of the guys in the out group leaves - let's call him M - actually bothered to say goodbye to me as he walked off. To which I made a point of audibly saying "see you later M, good to see you again, take care".
As I walked out to leave the work station I said "catch you later" to Q. She said "see you tomorrow". I didn't say anything and left. I wasn't going to be in the next day (yesterday) and just left.
It must be one of the weirdest, surrealist and most unconformtable experiences I have had in any workplace ever.

Clearly an apple cart was upset by me last year and I believe D is trying to get back at me by talking to me in front of everyone. I could see through it all about half way through.
I am still trying to understand it all and I need some help to figure it all out and if i should raise it

44 replies

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In response to: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Ha! Sounds like a bad cough there mate, better take some time off.

You can also get stress leave with a certificate from your GP if it comes down to it

In response to: Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Yeah idk
@saltandpepper
Its just a cacophony of bs

In response to: Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

I hear you @MDT and in the end it's not worth it. No job is worth sacrificing your mental health for. Take care of yourself hey?

In response to: Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

I have two choices @saltandpepper

Go back to the place on Monday that hates me and then if that's where I am meant to be then do that on Monday. Don't go Tuesday. If I am not meant to be there then I go to where I am meant to be.

Thats the option that doesn't upset the apple cart the most I think.

I'm going to struggle to enjoy this weekend.

In response to: Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

@MDT Third option, don't go back

In response to: Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

yeah @saltandpepper
at this stage it's just cash in the bank
that's all i need
i have an internship (which i have a meeting for later tonight) and also a uni course to do
if the manager there wants to treat me like rubbish she can. Thing is its not even "rubbish" as such. Its just a psychological game to her. And she knows I have psychological issues. That's the thing.
I've already figured out what I'm going to say on Monday if she is there and makes a comment about me being there:
"Oh you're here again this week"
to which i say "Yeah and pretty soon I may be here full time"
Just to play the game too
That whole place is just a game now I think
In its worst form.
And yeah - tuesday I won't be going in. I already know what number to call

In response to: Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

thanks for listening too btw @saltandpepper

In response to: Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Always happy to listen @MDT I have a bit of a sore spot for workplace bullying, it happened to me and dragged on for years. It got to the point where I became suicidal as I felt trapped, like I had no other options. When I finally cracked the sh*ts and quit, I wished I'd done it a long time ago. It was a very hard time to pull through.

I can't remember, do you see a psychologist? It might be worth while discussing the psychological warfare going on between you and "D". The thing is, there's going to be a lot of shitty people we have to work with in our lives. But just because they are shitty, doesn't mean we should give them the power to make us feel that way. Perhaps it's worth exploring that with a therapist, learning how to cope and not engage when people are playing mind games with you. Learning tactics and skills to keep people like that from having power over you.

It sounds like you're pretty busy and have a lot going on as it is. That's great you have an internship. And with uni as well, you've got other paths to follow, that's fantastic. I'm very glad this job isn't all you have to hold on to. But really, if it causes you too much stress, I vote for letting go of the job. It's just not worth it, especially when you have all these other good things going on

In response to: Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Yeah I do see a psych @saltandpepper and it was well timed beacuse i saw him this time last week. We were able to talk out the problems I had with the staff at that place.

Fortunately it is temporary.

Yes I agree - its a game for some people. I guess I can either play it or just grow from it. Rise above the BS aye

and yes i agree

Well next month will be the chance to make that choice - if i get a permanent role at the place i am used to and don't have issue with. If they retract that offer and screw me again then I quit. It's simply not worth it I agree

It's a case of remembering that other things exist and that I have options. I think maybe part of the problem too was that I was spreading myself too thin.

Give it more time and I think it'll click

In response to: Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

Re: Is this workplace bullying? I am unsure... this will be a long post

what do you do these days @saltandpepper ?
21 - 30 of 44