Hi @petrichor
Thank you for that!
I think things that helped before was having some healthy habits that I'd started to develop. One time it was meditation. After a couple of months somehow smoking dissipated. I remember feeling uncertain as to how I quit that time, because it didn't seem hard. I actually started again that time after about a year, when some tough exams had finished, and I was also out of my more usual meditation routine. Then I stopped meditating... partly because I felt bad that I had started smoking again.
There was another time I was in a meditation group and quit for about 2 weeks, but started when I got home again and was in my old environment.
A time after that, I quit because I literally didn't have enough money. I just couldn't afford it. I also wanted to quit. That lasted about a year as well. Because I was in a new environment, that made it a little easier.
The last time I quit because of my first and only bout in my life so far, of what seemed like the flu. I was so sick that I couldn't smoke. That was when I made the calendar, an idea I got from Don Tolman. I just crossed off each day I didn't smoke. Each day I just said I had to last for a month, and then I'd be fine. After a month, I really did feel I'd lost the urge to smoke, and felt a lot better. That time I knew (from previous experience) that if I just had one, that was what would get me. So I just kept at it. I even had a few nightmares in the first few years, that I had just had one cigarette, and started again... then was so glad to wake up and realise I was still a non-smoker.
Over those 10 years, a couple of times I noticed only slight urges to smoke that would come on about a week after being exposed to passive smoke. I would just notice that - and it was easy to ignore.... especially since I didn't have any cigarettes around.
The few months before the time I quit for 10 years, I had been reading Allen Carr's book, and trying to eat healthier... and thinking about quitting. So having the flu and no cigarettes for a couple of days was a good starter.
I guess I've been doing that! I've been eating healthier, and have lost some weight (need to lose more belly fat though!)
This time... for the past couple of years, I keep on saying I'm quitting at the end of a packet. Now I've got a bad habit of saying that I've quit ... but then I seem to give in so easily!
Maybe I need to quit while I've still got cigarettes available. The thought of giving in and buying a whole new packet is awful, and seems to set me back. There's a part of me saying I wish I could just buy one cigarette at a time. Right now, I have nearly a whole packet I bought this morning. A part of me just wants to throw it out. But then will I go and buy another packet tomorrow or the next day? It could get expensive.
Coffee, is one of the strong associations I have as well. Just feeling bad about some life situations does it as well. I smoke when I feel bad about things, it's like a "well, things are this bad, I may as well smoke".
I can't believe I'm writing all this stuff about cigarettes! They're awful.
Having written all of this... my current decision is to put that packet in a hard to reach place (which somehow makes me feel a little better but I'm cautious that it kinda makes them seem special - maybe be careful with the place I choose??), and then if I feel like having one, say ...
Instead I could drink some water.
Instead I could meditate.
Instead I could go for a walk.
Instead I could make a nice herbal tea.
Instead I could have a shower.
Instead I could read stuff about being healthy
Instead I could watch YouTube video about eating healthy or healthy lifestyle.
Instead I could tidy up and clean.
And I'll draw up a calendar and put it on the wall. 30 days.
I'm a bit scared of setting a date. What do I do leading up to that date? How far in the future? I'll have to smoke till then? I want to quit now. But I'm not prepared. But I don't need to prepare... I've had practice at this. Even when I've prepared I've failed. That time I quit for 10 years, I wasn't prepared, I was just feeling so unwell...
I feel unwell now from cigarettes. Not as sick as back then. But I want to feel better. To smell better!
So I'm acting on that now.
Ok... have tossed the cigarettes up behind stuff in a very high wardrobe. It would take me about 5-10 minutes and a lot of bother to reach them.... I'd have to get the step ladder out, and pull down all the stuff in front of them. I'm not even sure where they landed.
Ok... I've made up a calendar of 30 days.
I actually feel a little better right now. Quite excited and looking forward to crossing off my first day tomorrow at this time. My last cigarette was around 2 hours ago when I got home (which is what I have tended to do when I have a packet going)... but I'm going to time it from chucking that packet of cigarettes into a hard-to-reach-place. I'm also quite pleased that I wasn't tempted to have a cigarette before doing that as well.
