Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Are You Born Negative?

Unknown userMember01 Sept 2016, 7:09 pm AEST

Are You Born Negative?

I have difficulty in accepting that you can change to become positive.

I've held the belief that people are either born with the negative or positive gene. No matter how many books you read, courses you attend or studios you listen to, if if have the negative gene you will always be negative.

At best the above you can improve your outlook but you won't be a true believer

What are your thoughts? Can you prove I am wrong?

27 replies

11 - 20 of 27

1 2 3

In response to: Are You Born Negative?

utopiaSenior Contributor04 Sept 2016, 4:51 pm AEST

Re: Are You Born Negative?

@Ffm48. I agree with you. There is no shortcut, but positive moments can be taught. Like any technique, it takes lots of practice & some tears. I too have someone who believes in me - my psychologist & no matter what type of week I've had - he would find and then list the positives. Now I'm able to do it myself. I have more content and joyful moments than depressive ones now.
I'm so pleased you had friends who were willing help you out of your anxiety & into the concert halls. Friends like this are worth more than they will ever know.
Your post is uplifting.

In response to: Are You Born Negative?

Unknown userMember04 Sept 2016, 5:00 pm AEST

Re: Are You Born Negative?

I like the idea of doing things you love. I've been wanting to play guitar for years. I need to sign up for lessons

In response to: Re: Are You Born Negative?

Ffm48Senior Contributor04 Sept 2016, 5:05 pm AEST

Re: Are You Born Negative?

Too right @utopia, it was and still is a lot of hard work. But as you said, it is a technique. The way I see it, it's learning the balance between pushing yourself and being gentle with yourself when things don't work out; knowing you can start again tomorrow.

In response to: Are You Born Negative?

KurraSenior Contributor04 Sept 2016, 5:09 pm AEST

Re: Are You Born Negative?

Go for it @Former-Member! It's never too late to learn. 🎶👏

In response to: Are You Born Negative?

Unknown userMember04 Sept 2016, 5:10 pm AEST

Re: Are You Born Negative?

Yes I'm googling lessons right now

In response to: Are You Born Negative?

utopiaSenior Contributor04 Sept 2016, 5:12 pm AEST

Re: Are You Born Negative?

@Ffm48. Perfectly said. Sometimes we need to push ourselves & other times we need to be extra gentle. It's finding that balance. I don't seem to panic over the small stuff any more &iI'm better at dealing with the bigger stressors. But once you know and practice the techniques, they become part of your life. They take over the negative self talk and instead you congratulate yourself for your achievements.

In response to: Are You Born Negative?

utopiaSenior Contributor04 Sept 2016, 5:14 pm AEST

Re: Are You Born Negative?

@Former-Member. Learning the guitar would be amazing. Imagine being able to play music that soothes or uplifts you.

In response to: Are You Born Negative?

Unknown userMember04 Sept 2016, 5:16 pm AEST

Re: Are You Born Negative?

@Former-Member, that is such a great question.

I am quite sure that for my son, the answer is yes. He has always felt the negatives in life so much strongly than the positives. I remember when he was about 5 years old, telling me that he wanted to die... a statement that broke my heart but I came to realise that it was because when any negative thing happened in his life, it was just immensely shattering to him. The positives were, in comparison, just momentary flashes.

I don't think that for a person who is like him, that life is destined to be entirely full of pain. He's 21 years old now and pursuing his dreams and succeeding (albeit with significantly more stress than others in his situation). Life is immensely more challenging for him that it has ever been for me. But he is aware of his weaknesses as well as his strengths, and he makes strategic decisions that enable him to compete with those who do not have his tendencies.

Parenting him has also really made me aware of the hidden disabilities that we all have... and I'm indebted to him for that.

Thanks for such an great question

In response to: Are You Born Negative?

KurraSenior Contributor04 Sept 2016, 5:18 pm AEST

Re: Are You Born Negative?

I tend to more pushing than being gentle with me. However I have learnt when it's imperative to give myself a blob day. No agenda, no pressures and total self indulgence. It's taken many a long year to reach this point and a lot of incredibly hard work. I'm so glad I kept on trying. Life is wonderful.
Congratulations to you all.

In response to: Are You Born Negative?

utopiaSenior Contributor04 Sept 2016, 5:23 pm AEST

Re: Are You Born Negative?

@Kurra. You have to have a blob day every now and then.

11 - 20 of 27

1 2 3