Let`s talk about Bipolar

Hello @Anastasia

Is it something that you can talk about here?

HenryX

Hi @Anastasia

I have seen you talking of your job last several days. I am so sorry that everything is suddenly so stressful and out of control. It must be hard not knowing what exactly is going to happen. Hoping for the best

Meggle

@HenryX @Anastasia @Meggle I see there's been a lot of conversation since I started my last post. Apologies if I've been inappropriate, my mood is low.

Dimity.

Please don't apologize @Dimity 💞

I'm ok all thank you @HenryX @Oaktree

I hope you feel better soon @Dimity

Meggle

So let's really talk about bipolar. Does anyone else feel a sense of defeat or devastation during or after an episode that causes hospitalisation? Because over the last two years my mood kept escalating but I was learning to manage it pretty well. However in December it went over the top into a full on manic psychosis. I was absolutely devastated and didn't know how I could even go on living my life in the knowledge that the same thing would happen again. Thoughts?

Meggle

Hello @Dimity

CC:

@Always-hope @Meggle @Appleblossom @Anastasia @Dimity

@bipolarbunny @Mazarita @Shaz51 @Sophia1 @frog

@Appleblossom @greenpea @Olga

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my discussion on

Counselling and Therapy.

“

I present the material that I write, not only as a reflection of my own circumstance, but as discussion that I hope will enable others to possibly see some parallels in their own life and experience.

It is not intended to be a conversation simply about me, and I am sorry if that is the way that my comments have been conveyed and, or interpreted.

“

You have indicated that your own experience with a particular type of therapy may not have been what you were looking for, and that your current pdoc considers that type of therapy, or the way in which it was conducted, (the therapist's style and approach) may have been inappropriate or damaging for you. It is recognised that different therapists, and different types of therapy may suit and be appropriate for one and not for another. Information about positives and negatives in relation to therapies and therapists may help others to make informed decisions about the type of therapy and therapist that they may find meets their needs or otherwise.

“

I do believe that your response has already made a significant contribution to the discussion, and would like to see some development by you, if that is possible, about the reasons that your pdoc has, as quoted from your comment:

“told me the years of psychoanalytic psychotherapy I undertook with a former clinician were inappropriate for my current bipolar diagnosis and may have been damaging.”

We can also recognise that types of therapies and therapist styles can be significantly changed and developed over relatively short periods of time. So, what is considered to be appropriate at any given time, may be very different five years later.

“

That is why I have included the discussion here. In this way people can share their positive and negative experiences, and discuss options that may be chosen in the future, and possible changes to what they have previously experienced. The personal part of my story is simply a framework that supports my part of the discussion.

“

If I were to put this discussion in a thread to do with Disasters, this discussion would not reach many people. However, the discussion that I have presented is not about disasters, it is about reasons for seeking and the types of counselling and therapy that may be sought, about which there is much discussion on this thread.

Another member and I did transfer our discussion, on this topic, to another thread as the discussion developed.

“

However, if you believe that there may be another or other active threads that may more closely relate to a discussion on Counselling and Therapy, I would be pleased to consider your direction.

“

With My Best Wishes

HenryX

P.S. the script of this message has been edited by adding some material and for clarity, without changing the meaning.

Ohhh @Oaktree that angst would have to be central to our condition and why so many of us live with antipsychotics despite their side-effects

@Anastasia @Shaz51 @HenryX @Oaktree @Appleblossom @Mazarita @Former-Member @Dimity @Bunniekins @frog @Meowmy @rivergal and sorry if I've missed anyone.

Hello my dear friends, I'm back. I've missed so much! I missed you beautiful wonderful magical souls SO much!! xx

I'm still a bit frazzled, but I'm coping and I got my NDIS letter finished. Writing it felt like ripping off a huge scab on my soul. 8+ pages and 3,500+ words of a disability impact statement, if they ignore me this time I honestly don't know what they want and give up. I refuse to waste any more valuable therapy sessions on their bureaucratic nonsense.

YAY!!!!! @Bunniekins is back!!! My beautiful pea oh how I have missed you SO MUCH!!! How are you doing? I read they were able to lessen your shakes? That is great news. How are you otherwise? xx

And @Dimity is back!!! Double YAY! I missed you too my friend, I'm sorry you are still feeling low. I hope being back here can help you feel better. xx

@Anastasia I'm so sorry you are broken hearted my friend. I hope things resolve themselves at work. xx

@HenryX I read through your posts my friend. I could identify with a lot of what you wrote too. I too am only just learning how the trauma in childhood has played such a huge role in shaping and damaging my adulthood.
I grew up in a narcissistic family, my father was so busy trying to distance himself from my mothers narcissism that he drank himself unconscious on weekends, worked away during the week and was basically just not there to buffer the destruction. When he was home it was world war 3. I was the only female and youngest of 7 so I immediately fell into the black sheep, scapegoat role, everything was ALWAYS my fault. I was bullied, ignored, treated like I wasn't wanted, like I didn't matter. My youngest memory at 3 years old is of my father attempting suicide in front of me.
You are correct, there is no medication that can fix trauma or cptsd. I find my anti psych does a great job on treating the pointy ends of my bipolar, but the cptsd is it's own entity and triggers at the drop of a hat. Medicinally speaking nothing can repair the damage, but I've found treatment with my clinical psychologist can help me understand and navigate the extreme pain. It is an extremely slow process of elimination and there's a lot of trauma to eliminate. I'll probably be in therapy for the rest of my life.
Unfortunately I am still intrenched in that narcissistic family, the only thing that's changed is my father has passed and found his peace. I live for the day I can go no contact and finally be free but it's a few years off yet. Until then I keep myself as much out of harms way as I can and I don't engage in their toxicity.
I think living with it as a child was easier. You do indeed block yourself off from the emotion and pain. As an adult it gets harder to do that. I am just beginning to see how much my personal trauma has formed who I am. And now that I see them all clearly for who they are and I see their lies clearly and they are lies, I know I am worthy. My emotions may try to confuse me from time to time and I may at times feel as if I am a loser. But I know in my heart that I am a decent human being. I know deep in my heart that they never deserved to have me in their lives. And I know in my heart that I have always been worthy of love and a good life. And that is why I work so hard now to heal.
I'm really happy for you that you are finding being back in therapy so encouraging and helpful. I wish you all the best with it. xx

I hope everyone else is finding a little magic in their day. xx

So happy to be back. Big hugs to all xx

BB 🐰💙

hello my @bipolarbunny

take one step at a time my friend and i have my fingers and toes crossed for you your NDIS