Let`s talk about Bipolar

Hi @bipolarbunny, I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time right now, though glad it sounds you'll have a little break soon. It can be really hard to take that time out for yourself when caring for others, but as others and even yourself have said, sometimes, it's really important to do that despite how hard it might feel. I hope things start to improve for you and wishing you all the very best in the meantime. Take care 🌷

My lovely @bipolarbunny I'm so sorry you're struggling and the relationship with your mother is dragging you down. As your mother's carer are there any respite programs available for you both.to give you a break and time for yourself and also give your mother something else to think about? Dad was assessed for this by a caseworker and the aged care provider offered a number of options.

Waiting two months or more for your own hospitalisation won't be easy but there's also residential respite in aged care. And getting your mum assessed for respite care might be a nudge for your brothers to take the situation more seriously.

Wishing you continued strength of spirit but also the ability to catch the sudden sunbeams that sometimes break through the clouds,

Dimity

@Dimity My dear friend, thank you.
Unfortunately the problem with my mother is she is still very capable of caring for herself, but it's her narcissism that makes her very needy and she would outright refuse to be assessed because she doesn't see that anything is wrong. She is just like a little puppy always seeking attention and if she doesn't get it look out, you cop her wrath! She can be extremely aggressive and nasty when she wants to be. Not physically, but she plays toxic mind games.

A nurse comes to the house every 12 months and checks her cognitive abilities and health and she charms her way through every time. I've tried ringing nurses about her, but because I am not her medical power of attorney I have no leg to stand on.
And though I am her carer in almost every sense of the word and she wouldn't cope without me, I am not her official carer, as in I don't get paid and am not registered as such. I'm just the sap with a heart that got sucked in to looking after her for 20 years.
I know she is deteriorating, her sisters can see it and my brothers are noticing it. I'm just waiting for the day her mind goes completely and she'll have no say in being assessed.
But I know if I go to the clinic, she will not be a happy camper. But that's for her and my brothers to deal with. I'm sick of being the one that has to hold everything together, especially this ridiculous ruse of family.

@bipolarbunny it sounds really tough for you, poor thing. The emotional toll must be huge.

Trying to find the right meds in the middle of stress and anxiety too. I'm glad you find some relief in outdoor exercise and your poetry.

A few days ago you asked if I had a therapist. No, just a pdoc. A couple of years ago I had several sessions of CBT which didn't really help. A long time ago I had years of psychoanalytic psychotherapy that were slow and painful and uncovered early childhood trauma. I was diagnosed with BPD at the time and had a number of admissions linked to medication changes - of which there were many. My current pdoc is very conservative, diagnosed me with BD and said psychoanalytic psychotherapy isn't appropriate for BD. My mood and energy are uniformly low and I have a phase shifted sleep cycle so I'd appreciate mentoring and help to help me establish better routines and social supports. I'm unable to work. Ì reinvented myself through several changes of career but ended up ill, exhausted, burnt out, gutted. I feel I've lost my core and there'd be nothing left for therapy to work with.

I do so hope you find your mojo @bipolarbunny and can weather the storms and upsets til you stabilise on meds that suit you. Your mother must be a thorn in your side and a constant source of irritation but I hope you can find your zen and inner calm somehow. In the meantime there are forum people who'll sit with you or walk with you through good times and bad.

@Dimity please don't give up on therapy entirely. My first therapist did CBT and other therapies with me which didn't work. I had a good rapport with him but I realise now he wasn't well versed in the intricacies of bipolar or c-ptsd. Our sessions worked wonders when I was well, but when I was sick I was never in the headspace to remember the CBT or to use it. He retired eventually after about 4 years and I saw this other guy who was very judgemental for about 3 sessions and never went back. I went nearly 7 years before I tried again. And I found my current tdoc. Being a clinical psychologist he knows the pointy end of mental illness and without exaggeration I've gotta say he's saved my life. I've never met anyone more knowledgeable, more empathetic and more empowering and he challenges me and calls me on my BS too. He has helped me see a future where there wasn't any. We have a LOT of work to do, but every time I hit a tough patch I feel all the more grateful to have found him.
So if you feel up to one last try, see if you can find a clinical psychologist. Especially if your pdoc is no help. A mental health plan from your GP will get you 20 rebated sessions. And if there's no one local there's always Telehealth, which I initially resisted but have since found it to be excellent on those days I don't feel up to going in. It's definitely changing my life for the better.
Now if I could only escape my family things would be downright sunny!
BB 🐰💙

Thanks for your encouragement @bipolarbunny . I'm in two minds about therapy as such. I doubt my capacity for self-awareness. I'm open to alternatives such as spirituality in some sense and if I was eligible for any sort of support the top of my list would be nature walks. I have a newish GP I'm developing some rapport with so might raise the question of another mental health plan with her. Having taken early retirement I feel less worthy. And I certainly don't identify with goals my last psychologist suggested of owning a red car or travelling to Disneyland. Perhaps renovating the house and garden would be a goal rather than a pipedream if I had help to get over my crippling inertia.

Do you have a dog? Would having one suit your lifestyle? They can be wonderful company. My cats are good company tho one is getting silly in his old age. The distraction from introspection and rumination is fantastic. Fur babies....

Hang in there @bipolarbunny

I hear you.

good evening my friends

hope you day was ok

my mr shaz has a question ??

my mr shaz has had lots of diagnosis and the latest is Bipolar 2

he is thinking of stopping his meds or changing his meds as the side affects is weight gain !!!

any tips or hints on how to stop the weight gain would be great

@Bunniekins, @TideisTurning , @bipolarbunny , @Dimity , @frog , @Olga , @HenryX , @Mazarita , @eth , @Klutz , @Meowmy @SJT63 , @Former-Member , @Appleblossom , @Former-Member , @rivergal

@Shaz51 hey Snazzy, weight gain is a real issue with MI. I had change of meds due to weight gain. Recently started on new meds which suppose to help with weight loss. See what happens. Good luck.

good luck with your new meds my darling @Meowmy , how are you going with them so far