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Let's talk DID and dissociation

Unknown userMember16 Mar 2021, 12:57 pm AEDT

Let's talk DID and dissociation

Hello all

@Former-Member, @Bellarose75, @BraveOne, @Nyx, @Fluttershy1, @Maggie, @Grace20212, @NoOne, @MySunrise, @Unlonely1, @destructive, @Lemonjuice and we are sure there are others who have DID or dissociation disorders but we haven't interacted with them so feel free to add others we missed.

We noticed that there is a lot of threads popping up about DID and decided that maybe having a thread we can all chat on and ask questions and give advice to each other would be good.

We thought we would start off by explaing who we are.

We call ourselves the dragon system.

Host/main/core goes by our username due to guidelines but the rest of us are happy to say our names it also helps people know who's responding.

Here is a list of all of us that we as a working system is aware of.

So I'm going to split it up into 3 groups, littles (0-10), middles (11-17) and bigs (18+).

So my littles are :

Kelly, 4, mute and trauma holder, Eshy, main

Sarah, 6, main

Strudle, 5, wolf shapeshifter, main

Brandon

Bianca

Brittney, 7, the BBB triplets

Sienna, 8, prefers CC

Dana, 4, trauma holder, AP

Leana, 6, trauma holder, AP

Cameron, 8, trauma holder

Kelsey, 5, trauma holder

Uunala, 4, trauma holder, Eshy

Stacey, 10

Tessa, 9, FS Trauma holder

My middles are:

Steph, 15, sporty, gender fluid

Daisy, 13, Artistic

Macey, 12, smart, Eshy

Repunzel, 16/17, Fictive

Elsie, 17, littles helper

Erin, 15, trauma holder, Sh, main

Iris, 11, positive empath, littles caretaker, main

Chloe, 14, littles caretaker, clean freak (possibly ocd)

Mermaid Princess, 15/17, unknown language

Zayella, 15, sad/grief empath, inner world protector

Casey, 13, troublesome, sh

Evie, 15/16, fictive

My bigs are:

Sapphire,18, wolf shapeshifter, system protector, main

Harmony, 30, protector, main

Honey, 19, sexual

Grant, age Slider, 18-25,

Lana, 20, negative empath

Holly, age unknown, demon, system persecutor, is a main but currently locked away

Twilight, age unknown, dragon, gatekeeper

We know not all people with DID have an inner world but we do. Host created inner world as an escape when she was 9 and it has become a major part of our system. For anyone wondering twilights role as gatekeeper is literally that our inner world is surrounded by a brick wall and has a large gate outside that is a giant Forrest and twilight keeps the bad out. Holly came before twilight did so it's probably the only reason she made it in.

We also have C-PTSD, anxiety, depression, social anxiety, and panic disorder. Host is severe asthmatic as well which we suppose makes us all asthmatic.

Anyway hope you like the idea of this thread and we are happy to chat anytime but we do apologize if we don't always answer straight away

Thanks

Harmony/babydragon

262 replies

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In response to: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Bellarose75Senior Contributor17 Mar 2021, 7:20 pm AEDT

Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

3 of the hosts children are anime mad, only one still lives at home so it's not to bad. When all three where here they would be arguing about which one to watch and as they got older and got their own screens they would sit in the lounge with ear phones watching they favourites. Which ones are your favourite? @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Unknown userMember17 Mar 2021, 7:22 pm AEDT

Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

@Bellarose75
I (nico) really like When Marnie Was Here but the other alters have other favourites.

In response to: Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Bellarose75Senior Contributor17 Mar 2021, 7:32 pm AEDT

Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

That is one I haven't heard of before. With our alters our viewing can range from Disney movies through crime shows both Fictitious and real. I am just glad they whole system hates horror. @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Unlonely1Senior Contributor17 Mar 2021, 7:38 pm AEDT

Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

2 me thats a small blessing - I am able 2 distract us so easily if i want 2.

its not always 2 'my' benefit tho 😖

In response to: Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Bellarose75Senior Contributor17 Mar 2021, 9:01 pm AEDT

Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Hey guys, just stopped by to say goodnight. Hope you all can find a little peace tonight and get some decent sleep. I won't be around much for the next two days as I have MH appointments both days and they are exhausting. Be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself and remember you are not alone. @Unlonely1 @Former-Member @Former-Member @Fluttershy1 @BraveOne

In response to: Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

destructiveSenior Contributor17 Mar 2021, 9:07 pm AEDT

Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Night @Bellarose75

im not really directing this at anyone but happy if anyone has any ideas, input, experiences. Sometimes I don't remember emailing my therapist, or I do but don't remember the content. She responded to one I saw asking if it was a particular part and if it was to share more. I don't know how to respond. It feels so strange. I do have therapy tomorrow and worried she's going to ask about it but it makes me very anxious.
Also, how do you get enough therapy. It's been 3-4 weeks since I last got to go but I can't afford to much. Even tomorrow will be a stretch. Makes it hard. I guess one more thing how do you know if the therapist knows what they're doing with DID? What are signs they don't?

sorry for all the questions

In response to: Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Fluttershy1Senior Contributor17 Mar 2021, 9:09 pm AEDT

Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Night @Bellarose75,

trying to be strong but it is a little bit hard. Got the littles running a muck....

In response to: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Unlonely1Senior Contributor18 Mar 2021, 12:23 am AEDT

Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

thínkíng σf u ?
в gєntlє.

In response to: Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Bellarose75Senior Contributor18 Mar 2021, 4:42 am AEDT

Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Hi @destructive , I know how unsettling that can be as it use to happen a lot for the host. It sounds like she may know enough about DID because of her response but google her and see what qualifications/experience she has. All you have to say is that it wasn't you who sent the email and don't know if the alter will talk to her or not. The hosts psychologist always reads back the information shared and asks if that alter would like to talk, we generally close our eyes and if they don't reply in a few seconds (I give them 10 second) then I open our eyes and go "I guess not" and we move on. Do you have a mental health plan? Where I live that gives you 10 free sessions under Medicare and sometimes with a letter from your therapist they can extend that.

Never apologised for asking questions. Apart from getting support when we need it, most of us here are here to help where we can.

I really hope you are sound asleep right now, I am not as one alter is a night owl and as soon as the medication is out of our system they wake up. Now a child alter is having us bake cookies, she started and gave up🤦🏻‍♀️

In response to: Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Unknown userMember18 Mar 2021, 4:45 am AEDT

Re: Let's talk DID and dissociation

Hi guys this will be a long post as we catch up with what we missed today and respond to everyone. Also if our post is kinda muddled we've been switchy today and we have a few littles that are unsettled so we are watching we can be heroes to help calm them. This means Harmony(me) Sapphire and about 4 littles are at front so sorry if the chirp in.

So I'm gonna get started.

@Fluttershy1

OMG finally someone who has more littles than bigs and middles. We've literally been told by multiple therapist that it is unusual to have a large amount of littles which surprises me as DID is basically the result of childhood trauma.

We hope things are going better for you. We are here for you if you wanna talk.

Yay go guppy

@Bellarose75

We were actually shocked to learn that it is more common to have blackholes/nothingness. The only reason we have an internal world is because the host use to retreat inside herself try and escape her abuse. When she retreated she started creating a world to help her feel safe and it just kinda stuck.

Our system does change a fair bit to but the host almost at 30 years old we dont really get new alters much any more which is probably a good thing.

We also have a sexual/sex addict alter, she has become important part of our system as the host finds intercourse painful, but she still isn't considered a main though which she is okay with.

We hope your little is ok.

I wuv Disney movees and Minecraft

Hope you sleep well and your appointments go well.

@Former-Member

We hope you found your unaccounted alter it can be scary when they do that, we have alters who come and go sometimes disappearing for years.

Our internal world was created was created by host as an escape from abuse.

Our host also hears voices separate from us but we can't hear them only she does.

We are not sure if it's normal for alters to have their own disorders but our Kelly is mute and displays many autistic traits.

We have a few alters into Pokemon and Naruto

@destructive

We will try to explain but sorry if we confuse you more.

Integration is when a therapist helps you work towards being a singleton, they work with you to try and bring all the pieces together but a strong enough trigger could cause a resplit and we decided that it easier being multiple.

We found it is important to respect each others boundaries. Try finding a way for youse to communicate better. We use a communal diary, we ask each other questions, give answer and request needs and wants.

Internal world was here before me (Harmony) so I don't know what it is like without one.

Our host struggles with time loss and activities being done she didn't do maybe just tell your therapist you don't remember. Honestly we aren't in therapy anymore even though we need it so we aren't really sure how to get the therapy you need.

We stopped therapy as therapists kept trying to force us into integration and we don't want that. As for going out well we are a system of hermit crabs lol

@MySunrise,

We started switching when host was 12/13 and host knew of 4 of us but she was 23 before she met the rest except for a few trauma holders that she is aware of being there but hasn't met yet as they hold trauma that would be too much for her.

Being co conscious with mor than 2 is new to the system and results in headaches. Also host has trouble being co conscious and often just retreats and then has no clue what happened.

Our host was dealing with a lot when switching started so honestly we became her way of coping to get through day to day.

@BraveOne

Your very welcome

Honestly having us is how our host copes.

We completely understand not sharing, a system working in harmony is built on trust and respect.

@Unlonely1 ,

Its okay we go quiet for months at a time sometimes. We are happy you found us too. Our host fights switches all the time though she is stronger at it now she sometimes wins.

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