Hi - New to SANE

Hi all

I am new to SANE but not new to mental health issues. Being roughly mid life I started at approx 25 years ago after experiencing my first psychosis. At that age I was new to being unwell. Circumstances beyond my control occurred leading up to hospitalisation back then. Fast forward to present, I am Mum to 2 grown up children.

One adult child I am grieving as for personal reasons that respect has decided to not speak to me for about a year now. If anyone has advice on how to get through the day with grief or have lived a similar experience it would be appreciated. I lost my mother in my mid 20s so I know and recognise the feeling of grief . My adult child is well and know safe so this i know is a good thing. Really finding it hard to move past the grief.

I relapsed with depression and ptsd symptoms a few weeks before Christmas.

Before that I was taking part in life and was functioning well and managing ongoing mental health issues. Since the relapse each day is a struggle . I am getting professional help so I am thankful for that. The long days and low mood , motivation, unhelpful thoughts, huge grief and frustration with myself for not being able to be better . Feel like each day is a waste . I know I am not alone in these kinds of feelings as mental health issues effect so so many people.

Here, I am reaching out as I am struggling and get scared these feeling are not going to pass.

I am Christian and do have Faith. Feeling so however does pull me away from my Faith even though I don't want it to.

I am isolating myself and I know that's not helpful but I don't have the motivation and I am fearful of going back to activities I used to be part of as I am not in a mood that is good for socialising. I really feel stuck and still have issues from my past I need to process. I so much want to get on with life cause so many people have issues. I feel like I am failing.

So that's that.

Alot of stuff rambling on but that's where I am at.

Peace