When will he realise his in hospital for help

Hi @Talita

That sounds like an incredibly difficult situation. I can hear your frustration.

It can be really difficult for someone to gain insight when they're experiencing psychosis, but it is possible. On one hand, he needs someone to hold the hope for his recovery, but on the other hand, you need to do what's best for you as well. It's a tricky one.

Sending strength your way so you can make the decision you need to.

Rosie93

@Talita Hi Talita I have schizoaffective disorder and my son2 has schizophrenia as well as other problems. Problem with schizophrenia is that even if the patient takes their medication there could possibly be times of relapse where the symptoms come up again. My mental health nurse said to me just the other day that schizophrenia was up their with cancer (she also deals with cancer patients) of the diseases she wouldnt want on her worst enemy. I promised my son2 I would never send him back to hospital even if things get really, really bad at home I just couldnt do it again. This is what you have to think about can you deal with this for the foreseeable future. You have to look after yourself otherwise you are no help to your boyfriend at all. greenpea

Hello @Talita

No 2 people with psychosis or schizophrenia are exactly the same, nor are the people in their lives. On the one hand their is a lot of pressure to provide empathy for those suffering and in need, however self responsibility is a huge part of healing and self respect. The right for thing to do or the right thing for you to do, is part of your individual stories and destinies. I became involved with a man with schizophrenia and others in my family have suffered from that diagnosis in different ways. I do not believe the services are on top of it as much as they say. Often meds is all that will happen without active seeking from the person diagnosed. The lines around supporting, caring or loving someone with serious MI are very blurry, and the nature of the relationship in a developmental context can provide a clue about decisions. Everyone entering adulthood has to find the fieet somehow and take some responsibility. You are entitled to put up boundaries or expectations as a partner. I never did that in my spousal relationship of 16 years and my family memebers and I have suffered ongoing. That said my spouse pulled out his finger and worked in different ways as did I.

Take care and stay safe.

Thank you..I just need counselling on how to handle it..especially when I've waited 2 years for him to come out of it And now his stuck in hospital and no way of telling how long..so frustrating

Hi @Talita

"Help" is arguably the most tarnished word in the history of mental healthcare. For decades - centuries even - it has been used in a way that means: "We are going to do what we want to do to you, all the while pretending that we are actually serving your will." It's the way that things have been for a very long time, and it's the reason why an awful lot of people who are in desperate need will often refuse offers of "help" - because all too often it is just a code word for exploitation.

I guess what concerns me about your post is that I see a lot of agonizing about your boyfriend not behaving in the way you want him to behave, and not much interest in assisting him to get what he wants, or even determining what that might be. And my further concern is that if he is surrounded on all sides by this - by people who are solely driven by an agenda of: "How can we force him to act the way that we want him to act?" - then is it any wonder that he has become suspicious and paranoid about everyone around him?

Does he have anyone who has consistantly demonstrated that they are on his side, rather then merely told him that they are? (Words are cheap, keep in mind). Does he have anyone who will engage with him based on his definitions of what is right and wrong; desirable and undesirable; helpful and unhelpful?

Or does he only have people who criticize and make demands of him?

If, as you say, he believes that you've all betrayed him by sending him to hospital, then it may take a long time to rebuild trust with him, and until that time he may be deeply reluctant to talk with you frankly. But if you can get back there - to a place of trust - then it might be more agreeable for everybody to find out what it is that your boyfriend wants for himself, and try, as best you are able, to help him get there.

Hey all, just wanted to jump in here. Help, support, and care for those who are experiencing MH issues can look really different for everyone, just as @Appleblossom has said. There are definitely gaps and shortcomings within our MH system that are in need of overhaul. I think what @chibam is highlighting is that we are still entrenched in the medical model in many ways (i.e. viewing medical and mental health issues separately, looking at risk only through a lens of physical harm, etc.) - but what that means is that what a person with a MHI wants, and what is available/prescribed, may be in direct opposition.

Sometimes hospital is the only option, but it can still be a really terrifying and overwhelming experience for the person.

Hi sweetheart which or what sort of mental health plan can you both move forward in, there is manny manny ..............that also allow for hope, pitfall and pit stops but the mental health world has truly opened up there are ways now that have never been discussed before for people like us

can I put 2cents worth in if you have the time

love from @Clawde

Morning, @chibam @ thank you for your comments, you actually sound exactly like him..I understand..i am the only one whose seen him everyday for 4 weeks and listened to him..he still trusts me , we are not trying to change him. We just want him to be independent so he can help us with bills and not feel like his making excuses to be a bludge off us because his emotionally burdened.. I want that emotional help for him, but he has his own thoughts to his life and that's to help him financially and not emotionally get back on track..we are running on empty and nothing left to give financially ..its been 5yrs and it's a long time..at the same time..he doesn't believe in a job, He would rather live in a tent then get a job..anyeay it's understanding why he thinks that way..he doesn't like control. This is control in some way..he has a brilliant mind and want him to make use of it And sheer away because his scared or doesn't have trust in his dealings with people ..so basically as you mentioned there are other ways , it's just finding that gap to go through I guess.. and what other help there is a part from the medical world..So please all your comments would be helpful at this stage..

Morning @Clawde

I'd really want some advise moving forward on what options there are for him so we can all manage this hurdle together and how we can keep sane so we don't upset him during his recovery period..he has a strong personality, arrogant but has a good heart in helping people. Id like counselling for his relationship, family to get his life back and hopefully some insight to be financially stable again..he loves to socialize, so that would help him gain his confidence and self esteem to rebuild himself..