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Judgemental Boyfriend

Judgemental Boyfriend

My boyfriend tries to control the clothes I wear and makes nasty comments because I dont dress as he sees that a woman should. I dont like to wear dresses and skirts for different reasons. Much prefer to wear pants all the time. I see that the way my boyfriend is is controlling and have told him that but he rarely gets or understands what I say to him regarding his judgemental comments. His sense of dress isnt that great. He is often unkempt and smelly. The relationship isnt satisfying to me physically or intellectualy but I put up with him because its soooo hard for me to find someone new.

29 replies

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In response to: Judgemental Boyfriend

Re: Judgemental Boyfriend

@Bridgetjones. Why do you need to find someone new? That comment worries me.
Your boyfriend is a control freak. Bet he wants a say in who you hang out with too.
I'd say leave. He has no respect for you and your opinions.
How about having some time without a man in your life. Spend time with friends. Enjoy yourself. Learn knew things.
By going straight from one relationship to another, you risk ending up with another controlling guy.

In response to: Re: Judgemental Boyfriend

Re: Judgemental Boyfriend

@utopia is on the money here. Get out and go enjoy being single for awhile. There isn't anything wrong with that and often people learn a lot about themselves when they can focus on just them.

In response to: Judgemental Boyfriend

Re: Judgemental Boyfriend

@Bridgetjones. I forgot to tell you the most important thing. YOU are way to good for this guy. And one day you will find the guy who is wworthy enough of your love.

In response to: Judgemental Boyfriend

Re: Judgemental Boyfriend

Hi @Bridgetjones I stayed with a guy who wasn't right for me at all, because I couldn't cope with the thought of being alone. Trust me, it's much better to be alone, than with a guy who isn't treating you nicely.

Once you get some confidence and good self-esteem, you'll find the right person.

You'll look back and think, "what the heck was I doing with him".

Don't waste your life with the wrong person, who is bringing you down.

Look forward to hearing from you again.

In response to: Re: Judgemental Boyfriend

Re: Judgemental Boyfriend

Hi @utopia Hello @mrkotter. I haven't met you yet.

In response to: Judgemental Boyfriend

Re: Judgemental Boyfriend

Hi @Former-Member. How are you today? I hope you are well

In response to: Judgemental Boyfriend

Re: Judgemental Boyfriend

My ex was a bit like that, started buying me new clothes that he said was more 'appropriate' and make up (I rarely wear make up). He would sulk or get snippy if I didn't wear what he preferred. He ended up being physically abusive and other abuses.. Don't settle. You deserve to be you in any relationship. Being on your own is hard but has its advantages too.
Good luck
Lj

In response to: Judgemental Boyfriend

Re: Judgemental Boyfriend

@utopia. Bit of a topsy turvy day. Emotional rollercoaster. Wrote things down to mention to psychogist on Friday. Really ready for it. Hate having this inner anger and frustration inside. I know where it comes from, need a bit of help though. Feel bit better now after few tears. Thanks for asking.

How have you been? I might have to read your answer tomorrow though, sorry, I'm so tired, can hardly think. Hope that's not rude. I am really interested and care about how you're going. 😊😴💜

In response to: Judgemental Boyfriend

Re: Judgemental Boyfriend

@utopia I spelt psychologist wrong. 😀

In response to: Judgemental Boyfriend

Re: Judgemental Boyfriend

@Former-Member. Sorry you having a roller coaster ride of emotions. A few more days to get through until byou see your psychologist. Sometimes a cry is good. It can release some pent up emotions. Although it's so much easier to do this woth your psychologist - having that help to sort it out and help calm you down by the end of the session.
Fingers crossed the days will pass quickly and it will soon be Friday.
I'm doing well. Still on a high from last week's session with my psychologist. Can't wait to see him on Thursday. Have completed a lot of homework. It's all making sense. I'm more hopeful now, than I have ever been. Although I know I have some hard steps coming up. And there is bound to be a few tears - as always. But my happy moments are more noticeable and I'm content most b of the time.
You don't have to appologise for sleeping. Get it when you can.
We can catch up for a chat tomorrow.
Sweet dreams
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