Jessicap22Contributor
Hi everyone:)
Hi, my name is Jessica. I'm brand new to the forums but have known about Sane for a while. I just thought it would be worth joining as I have quite a complex long history of mental health problems and I'm really sick of dealing with everything it has been a tough road for me I've seen hospital soo many times it is not funny. Just after high-school in my teenage years I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety after being bullied in high-school. I also started to self harm during this time. I saw a psychiatrist and they admitted me to the an adolescent mental health ward. I was there some time and sadly this was the beginning of a longggggg journey for me.
By the time I was in my late teens I had also developed an eating disorder I rapidly lost weight and almost got admitted to a hospital again. Another psychiatrist also diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during this time. From here the journey has just never gotten better I have seen probably more than 30 professionals over the years when it comes to one on one treatment from counsellors to alternative healing practitioners.
By my mid 20's I had been to hospital a number of times. I attempted to take my life at one point by and I was hospitalised and thankfully recovered.
I've had an eating disorder a very long time and this almost took my life in 2013 where I was admitted to hospital given 2 weeks to live from severe anorexia and bulimia. I was released from hospital once I gained enough wait but the follow up was soo poor it was unbelievable and I've relapsed a number of times since.
From my teenage years till now the diagnosis's for me have gotten worse as different psych's have diagnosed me and I've at times been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, psychosis and schizo-type by some professionals over the years I personally believe these diagnosis's are wrong and I'm currently taking up the public mental health system about this they are refusing to listen to me.
I've been on soo many medications over the years. The only medication I've only ever voluntarily accepted one medication all others have been given to me against my will I've been on involuntary treatment orders with the public mental health system a number of times and they were the ones that have medicated me against my will including currently whereby I am being injected with with a medication against my will by the public system.
For me I'm really sad overall I think if I'd had stable and good support all these years I'd be recovered from much of my problems but everything has just been so very inconsistent for me and diagnosis's being thrown around left, right and centre.
Personally when it comes to me diagnosing myself I believe that yes I have an eating disorder and I also believe I suffer from low mood at times, anxiety and post traumatic stress. If I could diagnose myself this is what I would diagnose.
I'm currently at my wit's end as my eating disorder re-erupted about 6 days ago now I've pretty much cut out all food except coffee and I don't know what to do. Other than the eating disorder I've been struggling with kind of a low mood for a few weeks now I was doing fine for about half a year prior to this new onset of things that has come from nowhere. I'm also suffering from side effects from the medication I'm on I don't want to be on it it makes me really tired and has made me lose interest in life in alot of ways but I'm stuck on it the public mental health system won't take me off it no matter what I say. I've spoken with legal aid and have a lawyer phoning me this week as I feel I'm being unfairly treated. I feel that I've been institutionalised too much personally it'd be nice to one day have proper support in my life. I'm a Christian and go to church weekly and have been praying soo much to God about everything.
Anyhow lovely to meet everyone. Most people that meet me wouldn't even believe this history if they saw me as I appear as a very normal person and it's only when I have visual signs of something wrong with the eating disorder that people ever even suspect something isn't right with me.
I wish I wasn't so along with all of this I want full recovery from everything soo bad and I also feel I need recovery now from the institutionalisation I've had it has been very traumatic for me overall having been admitted to hospital quite a number of times now.
Jess.
