FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

Things took a turn

Things took a turn

Hey all. I'm struggling pretty badly and I am feeling very stuck. I guess I am crawling back here, looking for somewhere safe to land (like a nest maybe). I'll try to keep it brief (and I am likely to fail at that).

Things had been going really well, in a way that I had been juggling heaps but keeping it together. My hours increased at work, I have been supporting family, the kids are all busy and bonkers etc - there's a lot but there always is. It's stressful and at times close to too much, but I do it.

The turn came about two weeks ago when I found someone close to me (my "friend", Mr Person, intimate partner person - whatever it is) part way through a suicide attempt. I was contacted by his distressed parents to check on him as they had concerns so I went knocking and got no response. I called the police and they took way too long and were unhelpful. I ended up taking him to hospital myself. It was really quite terrifying and genuinely traumatic. For quite a while I thought he was dead and fully expected that's how I would find him, and I wasn't too far off in my thinking when I did find him. On the way he told me I had been busy and distracted lately which went straight to the very ouchiest of ouchy bits of my brain and my heart. The thinking part of me knows it was his choice and I couldn't do anything about it. But the feeling part has gone very wonky.

Since then my own MH has taken a pretty significant turn. I've had flashbacks, panic attacks, overwhelming anxiety. My chest feels like it is being crushed constantly. It's physically excruciating. I can't sleep despite some pretty mega meds. I am agitated, restless, really down, overwhelmed, exhausted... it goes on. It's like instantly all things PTSD that I had worked so super hard at managing, have come racing back. I feel like if I drop anything, if I let anything go, everything will fall down. I feel like if I am not in control of everything something terrible will happen. I feel like nothing I am doing is good enough and if I can't do it good enough then I am failing and if I am failing what's the point and if there's no point in one thing what's the point in anything. Dark, twisted and scary thoughts are back in full swing, with some added SH thoughts in there this time too which is unusual for me. I feel like I am letting everyone down, like nothing I do will be enough. No-one can see how much it takes to keep it all together and how close I feel to not being able to anymore. It feels, once again, like it's all too hard and too much.

Of course being this time of the year all my regular supports are on leave (as everyone's are). CATT were called which I was OK with and thankful for as I know some extra support. They're supposed to be there as a safety kind of net while my supports are away but it's not really helping. Instead I feel like I am wasting their time too. I struggle so badly to talk to them, a lot because they don't ask questions that help. They've told me they don't know what to do with me. I am "high functioning" and a perfectionist. It seems like people think it's all OK because I can still do things and on face value I am fine. On top of that, as an unhelpful helping person pointed out today, obviously things are OK as I haven't acted on thoughts so I must be managing them well (major eye roll). I don't know why I was hoping that it could help.

I'm stuck and hate that I am here once again. It's infuriating that my head scrambles and breaks the way it does. I wish I could just be sad, or tired, or worried. Not this.

I am trying super hard to not feel completely awful that I am here again in this space after so long not here. I feel really bad that I haven't come by before now.

Thank you for getting this far if you did.

115 replies

81 - 90 of 115
1...8910...12

In response to: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

Just a quick update. I had a very bad turn on Monday and was taken to ED after my GP phone appt. I spent the night there and was then transferred by patient transport ambulance to a psych facility where I am now. It's better here by a lot. I'm really hoping they'll help sort things out as it's all a big mess. I feel completely awful for giving up on my family, friends, work, self etc as much as I had. It feels overwhelming to imagine coming back from here. I'm very very sad and feeling very sorry to everyone I've hurt.

Thank you for being the loveliest, kindest, softest go-to.

❤️

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

@CheerBear I’m pleased to hear you are in hospital being cared for.

Just one breath at a time sweet lady. It’s time to take care of you now. The world, family and friends will wait for you to get stronger.

Sending the warmest, softest hug your ways.

Keep landing in the soft places. Arms are open wide to catch any falls. Lots of these. 💕💕💕💕💕💕💜💜💜💜💜💜💕💕💕💜💜💜💕💕💜💕💜💕💜

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

I absolutely echo everything @Maggie has said @CheerBear Time now to just look after You

We are definitely here with open arms for you anytime CB 💜💙💚🧡💛

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

Me too @CheerBear ^^^^^

Everything and everyone can wait. And LF are learning from you what needs to be done when the going gets too tough. They are witnessing self-care, and the need to put your own oxygen mask on before you see to anyone else.

Hugs n hugs ....., gently, gently ....

💐💞

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

Hi @CheerBear

I just read your post on the worry room too.
im so sorry I messed up my post the other day. I was completely off with where you were at and made assumptions instead of listening. I've messed up nearly every post I've written for a while on the forum but this is not about me.

You asked how do you come back from this. My answer is one slow mini step at a time. I don't believe you gave up on anyone or anything (like work). From where I sit maybe you became so overwhelmed and fearful and hurt that your brain just crashed. That is different to giving up on others or yourself. I was reminded of this recently when I relived what I've done to my kids through many s attempts. My therapist told me that I was not me when I was doing those things, that I was really unwell and not making any good decisions. It will never take away the guilt but it helps with the trying to keep moving forward part.

From my experiences the stuff you are worried about will be ok in the long term. In the short term you just need to look after you and feed your soul with small things. You are still you. You still have so much to live for. I know there are reasons that you'll feel like you 'should' want to live for and that ends up getting messy at times. I still get tangled with mixed emotions about having to live for my family and my responsibilities to them when I'm really low. From my perspective there are many things that await you and will fulfil you again when you are doing better. Please take the time you need to heal yourself. You are so worth it.

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

Sending lots of s @CheerBear xoxo

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

Hi all

Just popping by with an update and to say a very huge thanks for being a safe landing spot. The support and the safe venting space helped get me through.

I was discharged from hospital two days ago. My stay was really helpful. It gave my head some cool down time. I'm now back with the kids playing catch up on a huge back to school circus, so it's heated back up again but not as bad as two weeks ago. Two of mine start new schools at the end of the week, one who will be an hour and a half public transport commute away on the other side of the city, and one who is still too little to be catching the bus to school but needs to learn how. I will have three at three schools in totally different places within the week :face_with_rolling_eyes:

It feels like I've been hit by a huge wave of overwhelm but I had expected and planned for it so at least there is that. CATT are in the picture again as ideally I would have transitioned from hospital via a break place, but with back to school that wasn't possible. Hopefully I will get off CATT books soon and on to some more helpful support as CATT and I are not doing so well together at all. I have very little trust in them, even less now that and on reflection I think they should have helped/made me get into hospital (or at least asked about whether that could help) much sooner than happened. It shouldn't have taken for my psych to say it was needed and then my GP to threaten to call an ambulance if they didn't take me. I don't think I had another night in me and really don't think I would be here today had psych and GP not stepped in.

So it's sad, guilt filled, shame fuelled and messy in my head. I'm getting there, wonky as ever but actually thankful to be here. It feels chaotic but I think it's mostly temporary. Once the crew are back to school there will be more space to work through the stuff that got me here to this twisted up place.

Silly head. I'm so sad it went so backwards so quickly 🙁

Thanks, from the bottom of my sad and kind of broken heart, for being safe, constant and caring, and for listening ❤️

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

@CheerBear

Thank you so much for the update. Very relieved to hear from you. Things sound much better for you, but still very much a work in progress. Oh goodness ... 3 kids in three different schools! Not easy for any of you. I am so pleased that your GP and pdoc stepped up and forced CATT to admit you to hospital. I dont want to think about what might have been, had that not happened 💔

The forums, and your many good friends here, will always be here for you. Whether that be to help cushion any falls or to help celebrate your victories. Your presence is always very welcome.

Much love

Emelia 💞

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

Hey @CheerBear Checking in to see how things are going for you Hon - we are here if you need

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

I had multiples of schools at once @CheerBear .... you will all get the routines going that you need ..... it's perfectly do-able and will have its own sense of normal before too long ....,

Just focus on getting it up and going. You have done all the ground-work, especially growing your little fish into understanding that these things can be done with planning, organisation, systems, etc and that perfectly imperfect is okay ❣️

81 - 90 of 115
1...8910...12