FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

Things took a turn

Things took a turn

Hey all. I'm struggling pretty badly and I am feeling very stuck. I guess I am crawling back here, looking for somewhere safe to land (like a nest maybe). I'll try to keep it brief (and I am likely to fail at that).

Things had been going really well, in a way that I had been juggling heaps but keeping it together. My hours increased at work, I have been supporting family, the kids are all busy and bonkers etc - there's a lot but there always is. It's stressful and at times close to too much, but I do it.

The turn came about two weeks ago when I found someone close to me (my "friend", Mr Person, intimate partner person - whatever it is) part way through a suicide attempt. I was contacted by his distressed parents to check on him as they had concerns so I went knocking and got no response. I called the police and they took way too long and were unhelpful. I ended up taking him to hospital myself. It was really quite terrifying and genuinely traumatic. For quite a while I thought he was dead and fully expected that's how I would find him, and I wasn't too far off in my thinking when I did find him. On the way he told me I had been busy and distracted lately which went straight to the very ouchiest of ouchy bits of my brain and my heart. The thinking part of me knows it was his choice and I couldn't do anything about it. But the feeling part has gone very wonky.

Since then my own MH has taken a pretty significant turn. I've had flashbacks, panic attacks, overwhelming anxiety. My chest feels like it is being crushed constantly. It's physically excruciating. I can't sleep despite some pretty mega meds. I am agitated, restless, really down, overwhelmed, exhausted... it goes on. It's like instantly all things PTSD that I had worked so super hard at managing, have come racing back. I feel like if I drop anything, if I let anything go, everything will fall down. I feel like if I am not in control of everything something terrible will happen. I feel like nothing I am doing is good enough and if I can't do it good enough then I am failing and if I am failing what's the point and if there's no point in one thing what's the point in anything. Dark, twisted and scary thoughts are back in full swing, with some added SH thoughts in there this time too which is unusual for me. I feel like I am letting everyone down, like nothing I do will be enough. No-one can see how much it takes to keep it all together and how close I feel to not being able to anymore. It feels, once again, like it's all too hard and too much.

Of course being this time of the year all my regular supports are on leave (as everyone's are). CATT were called which I was OK with and thankful for as I know some extra support. They're supposed to be there as a safety kind of net while my supports are away but it's not really helping. Instead I feel like I am wasting their time too. I struggle so badly to talk to them, a lot because they don't ask questions that help. They've told me they don't know what to do with me. I am "high functioning" and a perfectionist. It seems like people think it's all OK because I can still do things and on face value I am fine. On top of that, as an unhelpful helping person pointed out today, obviously things are OK as I haven't acted on thoughts so I must be managing them well (major eye roll). I don't know why I was hoping that it could help.

I'm stuck and hate that I am here once again. It's infuriating that my head scrambles and breaks the way it does. I wish I could just be sad, or tired, or worried. Not this.

I am trying super hard to not feel completely awful that I am here again in this space after so long not here. I feel really bad that I haven't come by before now.

Thank you for getting this far if you did.

115 replies

111 - 115 of 115

In response to: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn


@CheerBear .....

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

@CheerBear

Missing you hon 💜💜

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

Continuing to think of you @CheerBear .

I received a lot of criticism for having a large family when my kids were growing up, especially with a special-needs one in the mix .... and then up to four school points for drop-off and collect (only for two non-consecutive years, thankfully, until it returned to three schools after that)

I received a lot of eye-rolls as though it was ridiculous ..... jokes about not having a TV, or knowing what birth-control was ..... but if I took the time to organise what each of them needed, and pooled those needs when I could, I knew it was do-able, like in past generations when a lot more children was usual for 'normal' family sizes. It meant for the four-school years that my oldest two were the last to be picked up after everyone else had gone home, and they had to stay well inside their fences to wait for me, but we did it.

I hope you have found your stride with your beautiful little fish at their different schools, and they are swimming strongly in their own endeavours. You are a beautiful Mumma and there is a lot in my life that reminds me of you.

Hoping you are taking good care of you.

💖💐🌈

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

hey @CheerBear I remember you fondly
hope wherever you are at in life now is okay
go well 🙂

In response to: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

thinking of you @CheerBear hoping your ok

111 - 115 of 115