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Something’s not right

Things took a turn

Things took a turn

Hey all. I'm struggling pretty badly and I am feeling very stuck. I guess I am crawling back here, looking for somewhere safe to land (like a nest maybe). I'll try to keep it brief (and I am likely to fail at that).

Things had been going really well, in a way that I had been juggling heaps but keeping it together. My hours increased at work, I have been supporting family, the kids are all busy and bonkers etc - there's a lot but there always is. It's stressful and at times close to too much, but I do it.

The turn came about two weeks ago when I found someone close to me (my "friend", Mr Person, intimate partner person - whatever it is) part way through a suicide attempt. I was contacted by his distressed parents to check on him as they had concerns so I went knocking and got no response. I called the police and they took way too long and were unhelpful. I ended up taking him to hospital myself. It was really quite terrifying and genuinely traumatic. For quite a while I thought he was dead and fully expected that's how I would find him, and I wasn't too far off in my thinking when I did find him. On the way he told me I had been busy and distracted lately which went straight to the very ouchiest of ouchy bits of my brain and my heart. The thinking part of me knows it was his choice and I couldn't do anything about it. But the feeling part has gone very wonky.

Since then my own MH has taken a pretty significant turn. I've had flashbacks, panic attacks, overwhelming anxiety. My chest feels like it is being crushed constantly. It's physically excruciating. I can't sleep despite some pretty mega meds. I am agitated, restless, really down, overwhelmed, exhausted... it goes on. It's like instantly all things PTSD that I had worked so super hard at managing, have come racing back. I feel like if I drop anything, if I let anything go, everything will fall down. I feel like if I am not in control of everything something terrible will happen. I feel like nothing I am doing is good enough and if I can't do it good enough then I am failing and if I am failing what's the point and if there's no point in one thing what's the point in anything. Dark, twisted and scary thoughts are back in full swing, with some added SH thoughts in there this time too which is unusual for me. I feel like I am letting everyone down, like nothing I do will be enough. No-one can see how much it takes to keep it all together and how close I feel to not being able to anymore. It feels, once again, like it's all too hard and too much.

Of course being this time of the year all my regular supports are on leave (as everyone's are). CATT were called which I was OK with and thankful for as I know some extra support. They're supposed to be there as a safety kind of net while my supports are away but it's not really helping. Instead I feel like I am wasting their time too. I struggle so badly to talk to them, a lot because they don't ask questions that help. They've told me they don't know what to do with me. I am "high functioning" and a perfectionist. It seems like people think it's all OK because I can still do things and on face value I am fine. On top of that, as an unhelpful helping person pointed out today, obviously things are OK as I haven't acted on thoughts so I must be managing them well (major eye roll). I don't know why I was hoping that it could help.

I'm stuck and hate that I am here once again. It's infuriating that my head scrambles and breaks the way it does. I wish I could just be sad, or tired, or worried. Not this.

I am trying super hard to not feel completely awful that I am here again in this space after so long not here. I feel really bad that I haven't come by before now.

Thank you for getting this far if you did.

115 replies

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In response to: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

Good morning @CheerBear @Maggie Thinking of you both

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

Morning @Zoe7 @CheerBear sending 💜💜💜💜💜

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

Oh Dear @CheerBear what a lot you have been through. Sending you heartfelt wishes that you are safe for today and got some good rest overnight. Sometimes all we can do is get through 1 hr or even 10 minutes at a time. None of what you're going through is your fault in any way. Complex PTSD is a beast (I am familiar with), especially on top of everything else you do and all the people you care for. Glad to hear you have alternative care for your kids and no current work demands.

I will go so far as to say this ... going out on a limb here ... I know the ED can be dreadful, but you would at least be monitored there and not completely floundering alone. I have experienced ED and I know it's hard, but the outcome is likely that you will get a bed in the MHU faster.

Wishing you find some IRL support soon.

Sending love, Eth

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

You are all amazing 💜 Thank you.

It's been pretty dodgy here since I posted. I have made sure I've been as asleep as I can possibly be and it's helped. CATT just came by (they didn't call before hand but maybe that wasn't the worst) too. They were so good. They said they were more concerned seeing me in person than reading the notes and as such were keen to get something in place.

They're calling mum to see if she can have the kids longer. I feel utterly terrible. I love those kids, that's not what this is about, but I need some time out and some support. When I told her I was struggling and asked for a couple more days of her looking after them I didn't get the loving, warm, concerned, caring response I hope I will give my kids if they say the same one day. I got the opposite. She means well, she really does, but she doesn't get it, she has lots on, and in a way she probably gets defensive too. I wish it didn't need CATT to call her but I do. Ultimately short term pain has to be better than long term.

I was open about the things I am doing that are not ideal also. I'm doing everything I can to get through this.

So that's about it. Holding on, just, but holding on. Once this little bit passes we'll be OK again I'm sure.

Mega love to you all for being so kind and caring. Thank you xxx

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

@CheerBear 🌸😔💕

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

I am really pleased the CATT team turned up and could see how bad things are for you @CheerBear Hopefully that helps speed things along quickly and a place can be found for you ASAP for that respite and help you need. Having them call your Mum re-inforces just how much you need the help at the moment. I know it is not always easy to put that burden on someone else but right now that cannot be your concern CB - you need help and your need support - there is no question about that - it just has to be done. Crossing everything a bed is found for you imediately and you can get that help. Hugs and hugs and hugs

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

@CheerBear We know how much you love your crew. Needing time out because you are unwell, very unwell, is important. I’m sorry your mum doesn’t understand.

I’m pleased CATT have seen you in person, and realise you need help now. Hopefully, something will be put in place very soon.

Sending you. 💜💜💜💜💜

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

They called again and said that mum was good. She told them she expected it was coming and that she will have the kids for me. Then she called me. She didn't talk about "it" (mental health/my head/hospital) at all but that's OK. Serious elephant 🐘 happening. I kind of wish she would give me a hug, tell me it's OK, tell me she knows it isn't something I'm doing on purpose, and tell me she thinks it is brave to ask for help, but i think that's a stretch.

I should have a bed in the next couple of days hopefully. I have an appt with the psychiatrist on Monday morning too, which might make that bed come about sooner also.

I also just spoke to middle who is worried about a school stationery list and me not being around to get it, so we're about to get online and do some shopping, together but not.

Next hurdle is work but one step at a time.

Got this again ⭐ (just)

Xxx

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

You're making progress @CheerBear Well done. 👍💕

In response to: Re: Things took a turn

Re: Things took a turn

You have got this @CheerBear One day at a time until that bed is available - hour by hour if necessary. In your corner and everything crossed fo you

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