Daughter catatonic

@Krishna Hugs and hugs Krishna :(. I am so sorry that you are dealing with all this pain.This may help a bit when my son2 was crazed with schizophrenia I felt helpless and self harmed and his mi was a trigger for my mi. Now that he is well and taking his medication he is a big teddy bear. I can see a rainbow in the distance. I hope that your daughter becomes well. Takes her medications and that this evil illness leaves her in peace. Dont forget to look after yourselves during this period where she is in hospital. Psychologists, counsellors may help you to talk through your pain. Of course we will always be here to lend an ear. We are you friend. Take care. peaxxx

Hi lovely,

That's a very difficult situation for all of you to be in. All you can do is continue to love your daughter and be there for her. Hoping your situation improves.

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@Krishna wrote:

I'm really struggling keeping tears at bay these past days and just feel so bloody sad. Can't seem to find my mojo. Although my girl is no longer catatonic, her mental health is deteriorating once again and has become withdrawn, isolating herself and emotionally unresponsive. Is becoming very abrupt with the wonderful nurses looking after her and still refuses any contact with me. It was her dads birthday Boxing Day and he passed on the message to her through her nurse that all he wanted was for her to talk to me. Still an abrupt "no" was her reply. Our girl has been in hospital now since August and will remain there until a place becomes available at a more suitable hospital/rehab. This grief I'm feeling is simply overwhelming. Her team has recommended a Public Guardian be appointed to oversee her life decisions and finances as she is not communicating with us so therefore we can't help in that area either. Oh what a mess. I can feel her slipping further and further away from me and there's nothing I can do. How does one deal with the loss of a child when their still present. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.

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@Bunniekins Thank you. 😘

Yes it's so hard when they are not really there. It's so complicated. It's good she is in care at least that might give you some respite. But I know it still doesn't stop the hurt. I try to busy myself and be thankful for the good things in my life. I breathe just breathe deeply and for a moment I can stop the sadness - it offers some respite. Writing in this forum is also somewhere to turn to. I'm sure there are many people who find some relief in sharing anonymously. Try to take care of yourself. Spoil yourself as well don't feel guilty you're not to blame.

@Krishna

@Secondone Thank you for your understanding and support xx

@Krishna

It must be hard to have your daughter not speaking with you. But be comforted that it is more a reflection of how much she is struggling at the moment, not of the relationship between you.

I have find it difficult to speak with my mother about mental health issues. When I was in a mental health unit I also refused to let her visit, or find out anything about how I was. The psychiatrist still talked with her, but couldn't tell her anything about me or my health. The psychiatrist would tell me what my mum had said and encouraged me to accept her support, insisting that I was discharged into her care.

Being in a psychiatric unit, on top of my very fragile mental health - there were lots of things I just couldn't cope with. Talking with my mum was one of those things. I was ashamed of being in there, and of the negative judgements made by the nurses. I didn't want my mum to see me in there or be told the things they were making up about me.

Even when I have been out of hospital, I often avoid talking with my mum. I don't answer her phonecalls if I don't feel up to being cheery and pretending everything is ok. When I do talk with her I avoid many topics that make me uncomfortable including about my mental health. Often all I would talk about was my dog. She kept trying and I knew she would help me if I needed her too. I found it easier to discuss my mental health struggles with professionals and a few close friends. Until recently when my friends and professionals at the hospital majorly let me down & I needed my mum's help. I still couldn't talk with her directly & asked others to contact her on my behalf. It has been very difficult for me to open up to her after such a long time, but I had to.

So just let your daughter know that you are there for her, if and when she is ready for your help. Perhaps offer support or communication in other less challenging ways - send her a card with a few words of support, a photo, a small gift to support a hobby. In a fragile state, even the smallest thing can trigger a memory of something unhappy, or even something that was previously a happy memory, but now seems lost. If possible keep things in the now, without worry of the future or memories of the past. Don't put too much pressure on her to respond. I know I felt guilty that I was not able to talk with my mum, or not able to be honest with her about my mental health, but I was overwhelmed and just not able to do it at the time.

Also important that you look after your own mental health and seek support to help you get through this challenging time.

Best wishes.

Hi @Krishna

I just wanted to reach out to you at this very difficult time

I can’t imagine the sheer and utter agony and anguish of watching your daughter slipping further away from you

Although I don’t have any words of wisdom that can ease your pain (I wish I did) I wondered if an organisation called Grief Line may be able to offer you some additional support

Basically, Grief Line is a free national helpline that provides confidential telephone counselling and support for people who are experiencing various types of grief and loss. They also provide information and an online moderated peer support forum.

If you would like to touch base with them, their national toll free number is:

1300 845 745. They also provide specific Grief Line state helpline numbers too

Grief Line provides support 7 days a week, 365 days a year between the hours of 6.00am and midnight (AEST).

Their website is: griefline.org.au

Thinking of you

Take care,

ShiningStar

@ShiningStar Thank you. I did reach out to Griefline recently but found it difficult with too many awkward pauses. I have organised a MH care plan for myself to speak to a psychologist in the coming weeks hoping this will help and @CrazyChick has given me an insight as to how my daughter might be feeling which has also helped a little xx

Hi there you wonderful and strong Mum 😊 my daughter has been catatonic and I remember well when all this first happened and I didn't understand what was going to on how scarred i was ! Such a roller coaster over weeks on end ... i send you a big hug , stay strong make sure you get some sleep and eat xx