Resilience and Mental Health

Hi @Judi9877

Resilience to me means being able to apply enough self-care to be able to get through really hard times. That self-care includes reaching out for support from others. It includes taking down-time away from the problem, even if it's earphones in my ears and music playing, or getting "lost" in a movie for a while.

I agree with @Millieme @that sometimes children can appear to be resilient through really tough stuff, but their emotional wounds have just been plastered over enough for them to seem okay, and the true trauma they suffered exposed itself through mental health issues or personality disorders later in life.

What a great idea @Judi9877! Similar to @Faith-and-Hope, for me, resilience is being able to get back up again when you've been knocked down.

@Millieme a realy interesting point about the lasting effects trauma can have. I agree that this could have an impact on 'resilience' long term and I'm really curious- do you have any ideas on how this could be better managed? I'd think acknowledging it as a first step, but keen to hear your thoughts.

Also @Judi9877, what does resilience mean or look like for you?

Hi @Judi9877

This is a good subject - I have managed to develop resilience through a life-time of different issues - my mother, my son and chronic pain - just to skim over the top - and when I run into another problem I know I will be okay just because I have lasted the distance with the hard-yards

And I am no longer young and the years are bringing their own problems - I still have chronic pain issues and I have a good specialist who treats rather than throws medication at the pain - but still he does okay the medication I need though this is becoming less with his help

It was overwhelming earlier in my life and I wonder how I would have seen things if I had known the future way back when - the solution to life-issues can be really hard sometimes and they can be right out of our hands - other times we need to make some kind of decision which can be difficult and unpopular - in reality we don't need to explain ourselves to family members but they can pry or add to our hard time with their criticism

But yes - the years do change us and our perception. I do not regret my life or the tough decisions I had to make. I rather like the person I have become and live alone - comfortable in my own skin and how I spend my time

This year and the lockdown in Melbourne was hard but according to my Support Workers I handled it really well - and I had 4 general hospital admissions and my daughter and I were taking it in turns to have operations - what a year!

But yes - even with resilience it can be a case of more bloody-hell when something else happens but we live through it and it does get easier - but I admit - never fun

I think opening this conversation is a good idea - it's a great subject

Dec

Hi @TideisTurning

I believe that if a trauma is identified in the life of a child trauma counselling is required when they are young to help them process what has happened.

My in-law family suffered war trauma for several generations, and I believe that has resulted in a "nest" of personality disorder, seemingly as a result of untreated PTSD.

Thank you for starting this discussion @Judi9877!

Resilience for me is about learning and self acceptance. It's accepting that my recovery will have ups and downs, wins and set backs, and that even sometimes when it feels like I am not moving far, that I have more skills and knowledge about myself and how I cope that puts me in a better position than when I first started this journey. It's also about self learning -every day I learn more about myself, and if I am open to that then it can help equip for the challenges of my mental health I may come across in future

🌼

@Judi9877 An interesting thread.

I did a resilience test online. My score was low, and it said to get help. Lol.

I can’t say I understand resilience at all, though I get what many mean by it. I often feel, because we have come through hard times, we are just expected to continue ,as we have often done, without too much thought of how the long term effects actually add up.

I saw somewhere that resilience can, at times ,be (re silence), as in, you’ve done it before, get on with it, kind of thinking, without seeing behind the masks, the struggle, the hiding the “ real” journey.

Sometimes I don’t want to be resilient at all, and I go on, because there’s not too many other choices available, and it can feel like no choice at all.

Just some thoughts.

All the best to everyone.

Yes @Faith-and-Hope! Counselling can be so helpful for dealing with trauma. Also agree with you, @Owlunar in that resilience can be developed, built up and strengthened over time. I really like your take on it too @Daisydreamer!

Also going to tag @LostAngel in case this thread is of interest to them 😊

Great and super interesting topic @Judi9877 ! It's been super interesting to read everyone's perspectives on the this topic.

For me, resilience can be positive in the sense that it helps me to see (for myself mainly) that I could possibly overcome the difficulties and challenges that I come across in my life, and with my mental health. Although, it may not be immediately (and that is okay ). Slow and steady wins the race right? It also empowers me when I tell myself "Setbacks are ok, I got this". And even if things haven't happened as how I have planned, it will help me to learn more about myself and what I am capable of

Hello @TideisTurning @Former-Member @Maggie @Daisydreamer @Faith-and-Hope @Millieme @Owlunar @LostAngel and all wonderful forumites here. Long time no post for me so I'm sorry for that!

@TideisTurning you posed the question of what resilience looks like for me and I'd like to respond. For me, resilience means realising and accepting that although things in life are tough and bad things happen, good things also happen and I have to remember that. It's like the weather for me if I can use that as an analogy. Whilst we do have rain which can seem awful and bad, especially if we've had things planned outside, we also have sun which is a good thing as it means we can do those things that we couldn't do when it was raining. We also have a wonderful weather event called rainbows 🌈 which I happen to love because it shows me that although we've had rain, the sun has come back out to make the rainbow happen. The weather has changed again and that is like life and the events that happen to each of us, whether that be in our mental or physical health, our living situation or even or work or financial situation.

Things happen and although they may seem bad at the time, the best thing and often hardest thing is working through what has happened using the strengths and lessons learnt from previous events or experiences to get us through them again. Deep down, I know that I will get through whatever I'm going through because I have the belief in myself to know that something better will come along eventually. A solution to a problem will be found and I will be okay. It might not be instantly when I would like it to happen but it will happen. There will be lessons learnt along the way and although I may not enjoy them at the time, that's life and it is there to teach me things, no matter what that might be. The lessons I learn through experiences add to my list of what to do if something similar ever happens again and gives me a valuable opportunity to increase my resilience strategies.

For me personally at the moment, it's dealing with looking for rental properties and having landlords knock me back time and time again for whatever reason. Yes, rejections hurt but I know that eventually a landlord will find it in their heart (or wallet as it maybe 😂) to offer me a property and will let me lease their property. I know landlords have reasons like they don't want certain people for whatever reason, but that is their problem and not mine. I just keep on looking on the internet and turning up to inspections as well as applying for properties in the belief that eventually, something will turn up. I've been there before so I know the process and have learnt from my experiences. That's an example of what I believe resilience is.

I must also state that I have depression as one of my mental health conditions so I know how hard resilience is when life gets tough. Believe me, I've had some bad experiences but like Dory out of Finding Nemo says in the movie, I just have to keep on swimming as hard as it may be.
Bouncing back from bad things in life is hard but it is doable. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. It's about living and having experiences, both good and bad, and learning each and every day. By living each day, hour, minute, you are being resilient. Your body is fighting the elements to keep your heart beating and your brain functioning. You are resilient to all the atoms in the air that touch your skin and you are doing all of this without even noticing it, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Each and every single day. Now, isn't that an interesting and remarkable fact to remember?

I look forward to reading your wonderful insights forumites!

Judi9877☺️🌈🍀