Having a hard time

@MDT - not tired now. Which is fustrating....

mill be around more often now

@BPDSurvivor - Thankyou for being here.
I have a question for you

@Fluttershy1 , hit me with it.

@BPDSurvivor - I have BPD and I don't know how to cope with impulsive buying and all that.
my moods are constantly changing and I am struggling to keep up with it. There are several things with BPD that my family don't understand and they are very judgemental. I don't know what to do or even how to explain it. Especially if I become impulsive. Then I go on a really good mood then hit a low then back up.

I'm safe

Hey @Fluttershy1 ,

First things first, you are aware of the problem - impulsive buying.

Despite not wanting to be an impulsive spender, you cannot take this away until you find the root of your impulse. There is not point saying, "Don't spend" unless there is a replacement behaviour to fill the void.

At this point, I don't believe your worry should be about how to make others understand BPD. No matter what you say, your actions speak louder than words.

My impulse spending was to fill an emptiness/void in me. Spending gave me an emotional "lift", yet it did not last. Dashing $15000 in one shot was NOT cool. Thank God I never spent what I didn't have. But I did spend excessively. I did not work with my treating team on "How to stop spending". I worked on developing the strategies of emotion-regulation, self-soothing, building connections and communication. Now, I spend, but not recklessly. I do not seek retail therapy. My self-soothing comes from within. I do not need external entities to regulate my emotions.

Hope this makes sense.

BPDSurvivor

@BPDSurvivor - that helped.

So my family aren't very supportive and I have a few MH issues that they don't understand including BPD, I find it hard to connect with them & when I have a impulsive episode that puts me in hospital they don't keep me they just send me home now. Family make things worse even if my moods are changing.
Just like how I wanted to buy a sensory bubble tube with fake fish in it so I could sleep at night with it on, they turned around and said no.
They are basically controlling my life on what I can and can't do. I just don't know. I feel stuck.

@BPDSurvivor - also am safe. Just chilling out

If you are of age, which you are because you are on these forums, should you not have some money which to spend?

I agree if they keep an eye on credit cards etc, but are they really controlling you? There is a difference between 'controlling' you and 'supporting' you. I am not here to judge the category they fall into.

From my experience, people who over-cared and took control of my meds, self-harm implements etc, were actually not doing me a favour. I kicked up a stink and became worse. My emotional self was so out of control that I needed to regain control myself, not have others do it for me.

Hospitals are aware of this, hence send borderlines home. The more 'controlling' the environment, the more detrimental it is.

This is MY experience. It sounds like you have co-morbidities which I know next-to-nothing about, hence you need to know I am NOT offering you advice. I can only share my experience from an ex-depressed, borderline's perspective.

BPDSurvivor

@Fluttershy1

Hope you have been able to get some rest.