Help with anxiety

Welcome @TB83 and thanks for telling us about yourself and what brought you here. I'm one of the moderators. It sounds like you're working hard to manage your anxiety, and it's pretty disheartening when it can still be so intense.

I hope you find a lot of support and connection here, it's a great community. Check out our Community Guidelines to get an idea of how it all works, and don't hesitate to ask questions while you're getting used to things.

You mentioned that sometimes it seems easier to not be here anymore. I can only imagine how distressing things get for you to feel that way. Please remember there are crisis supports to help if you want to talk about those thoughts:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Look forward to seeing you around 🌻

Hi TB83

Your story has resonated very strongly with me as I have a very real struggle with anxiety also. To start with, have you had your thyroid checked and a standard blood panel done (including iron, b12, magnesium level, hormone levels)..it's good to rule any physical cause to start with

The issue with anxiety is that we can feel like prisoners of our own mind, locked into ruminating thoughts and excessive worries, to the exclusion of everything else. It can be all consuming and mentally exhausting. Congratulations on doing all the right things, particularly exercise...whilst it may not seem like it, it is so important to stay active.

Please believe me, it can get better for you, and yes there is light at the end of that very bleak tunnel..... those little glimmers will get stronger. I'm curious to know if you've tried cognitive behavioral therapy? It allows us to recognise our negative thoughts when they occur and challenge the validity of our thoughts and worries from a different perspective and by challenging these thoughts we can change both our emotions and our behaviours.

I too have a good life and have been very blessed and I'm sure it is difficult on our families, however remember they are a large part of your life and I can assure you they need and want you around. The thing is with anxiety it can feel like quicksand..as though you're stuck... and it is a very isolating problem..we can feel very alone. Anxiety however is increasingly common, so please know you are not alone. We're all in this together.

Hey @Tessa2, welcome to the forums too 🌻 Thanks for jumping in with your experience and beautiful message of support. I look forward to seeing you more. Getting started, try putting an @ in front of a member's username if you want them to get notified of your post, like this - @TB83

Oops, sorry about that...I should have read things more carefully 🙂

Should I copy and re-post my earlier response?

Many thanks

Hi @Tessa2 ,

You can repost or you can also just tag people in your response and refer them to your message above.

Great to have you onboard.

Thanks, Radius

@Tessa2 thank you so very much for responding, you have no idea how much that has helped! I've read and re-read your words, thank you for being so open and honest. I think for me, hearing other people's experiences, and knowing that they've gotten through it, held me realise that all isn't lost and that this is just a bit of darkness and with hard work and determination, I will see light again. It's silly, but knowing others feel or have felt the same way is somewhat comforting, I'm not alone in this (I mean I don't like that others feel that way, but there's also a sense of relief, if that makes any sense at all). In response to your questions, yes I have had all my bloods checked and all returned normal, which is great. I've struggled with anxiety since I was a child, but I think this year has brought a lot of fears to the surface, hence why I've felt so terrible mentally. But, I know others have it much worse off than me, and im grateful to be healthy and safe. I would just like to get to a place where I'm happy and content and then have the ability to help others and to show them they're not alone.
But @Tessa2 i truly thank you for your response, at a time when I needed a bit of reassurance, you were there and you helped 😊 I hope you're ok and as you said we're all in this together ☺️

Hi @TB83, thank you for reaching out here, and welcome to the forums! 😊

I relate to what you and @Tessa2 have described. I want to provide even more hope/encouragement that things can and do get better with appropriate support, by sharing a bit about my story and recovery.

I developed a debilitating anxiety from when I was a teenager which was bad enough that it interfered with so many important things I cared about- friendships, relationships, education, employment... basically everything! I had a go at Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with a GP at my local Headspace, which I don't think worked out because I didn't go frequently enough to really engage with it and get the benefits.

I then relocated to another city and (regrettably) chose not to re-engage with mental health support because "I already knew the theory/what I needed to do!" I know now that consistency of care is key to recovery, as well as having someone be there to help keep you accountable.

Unfortunately I developed quite a lot of anxiety over the next few years about returning to therapy. I think I became quite embarrassed and ashamed at the degree of unhelpful/irrational thoughts that I was having as part of my anxiety, and I was worried I'd be judged. There was a lot of life and opportunities that I really wanted but missed out on during that time because of my anxiety. It got to the point of missing an opportunity I really really wanted, directly because of my anxiety, and the overwhelming, disempowering feeling of that aftermath, that finally made me say that I can't do this anymore- I didn't want the rest of my life to be like that- so I decided to re-engage with therapy.

I organised with my GP to start on antidepressants (which can be used for social anxiety, which is what I have specifically). I also got a Mental Health Care Plan to see a clinical psychologist, and I engaged with much more regular CBT/therapy compared to when I'd last accessed help. These were both helpful for me, and I remained engaged with these for about a year until I felt I'd recovered quite a lot and could achieve things I couldn't before.

I had a break for a bit after that, and I'm now re-engaged with another mental health professional with regular contact which I'm finding is really good for my mental health and life overall.

Sorry I feel like this is so much writing haha, but I say all this to hopefully inspire hope: I went from being debilitated by my anxiety across many domains of life and missing out on countless opportunities as a result, to being more in control of it than it is of me. I'm now so much more comfortable in relationships, work, etc.- in life generally.

I think it's amazing you said that "I would just like to get to a place where I'm happy and content and then have the ability to help others and to show them they're not alone" - when this is exactly what I have done- I'm more or less content (obviously covid/2020 has been a trying time), and am now working as a mental health peer supporter doing just that!

Truly, life can get so much better. Invest in the right kind of support for you, find a mental health professional who works well with you, allow yourself time and patience to get better, surround yourself with supportive people as much as you can, and be gentle with yourself

Hi @TB83

It sounds like you're working really hard to stay on top of the anxiety. You should definitiely give yourself credit, but I understand how disheartening it can be when you're doing your best and things don't seem to be improving... I've been there too.

What I can say is that with a lot of time and work, I have learnt how to manage my anxiety much better than before. I still struggle with it, but it doesn't stop me from living my life as much anymore. It sounds like you're doing everything you can, so I'm sure you will get to a place where you don't feel so affected by it. I'm holding the hope for you.

Sending strength your way,

Rosie93

Hi @TB83

I feel for you my friend, I to suffered with anxiety for about 20 years and hospitalised several times with panic attacks. I can honestly say that yes can recover from anxiety. You are on the right track with the exercise, meditation and seeing a psychologist, also get foods which are high in tryptophan, it is a amino acid that helps produce serotinin. Some foods are linseeds, soy products, chia seeds and nuts as well, Turkey and eggs are ok as well. Another vitamins is magnesium and this was a big for me, get off coffee and any caffeinated products e.g red bull, V, mothers, Coke or any cola products, this is including tea. It is tough to get off caffeine, you will have headaches and feel lowsey for a fews days up to a week, but be a different person. Give this ago TB83 and if doesn't work, there are depression and anxiety recovery programs that have made a profound difference in me as a person, I feel I have a fantastic day life now, give it go my friend, hope is always out there.

Haystacks

@TB83 I too am suffering severe anxiety. I had my 1st panic attack in the street with my 13 year old child 12 weeks ago and my life has turned upside down.

I've had to cut my work hours and duties which can't last much longer as my role is supporting students get through their final years of high school. In particular students with mental health challenges. I'm expected back to my regular role and hours 1st week of February.

I struggle to smile or laugh or meet people - when normally I'm the super active car full of kids fun mum who's involved in everything and puts her hand up for everything and chats to everyone everywhere.

I too feel like you and hope to have my life back. These last 12 weeks have been incredibly difficult. I've been hospitalised twice. Once as I thought I might be having a heart attack and another time when the medication my GP perscribed was not suitable for me and tipped me into a dark psychotic episode. (Do not take new meds unsupervised - make sure your family is aware and monitors you).

Today at work my body jerked and twitched 22 times and in all different places from eye to foot. I couldn't smile and kept feeling I was on the verge of a panic attack. I had 4 hours of meetings which I usually like and give my input - now everything at work is scary. Right now I'm home after 6 hours in the office I'm a bit calmer and less scared.

Here are some things I'm doing to help myself function and prevent those thoughts of wanting to die as some days are so hard. When I do have those thoughts I talk to someone and let them know.

I walk or swim nearly everyday. This is new to me as I've never been a person to excersise daily. I'm finding at the 20 minute mark of walking or swimming I start to ease into it and by 40 minutes I start feeling some glimpses of joy and my shoulders/neck relaxes.

I meditate 2 to 3 times a day using the Headspace APP. I got the free trial and found it was calming me a little so looked online for a discount voucher and treated myself to a year. However due to these trying times they do have a bundle of free meditations and guided courses on the APP.

I not been able to watch movies as they trigger me and I panic however I've found some very calming youtube creators just speak calmly and gently out their simple lives in the country or journaling.

I've had some counselling sessions. My counsellors taught me about panic attacks & anxiety using YouTube videos and books by Bev Aisbett which I borrowed from my public library and found very useful for me.

I also borrow the magazines called Breathe from my public library. I read an article a day while sitting out in the sunshine. I aim for 20 minutes of full sun in my backyard or the beach for vitamin D which is linked to happiness. Breathe has a lot of useful advice which is not too overwhelming or exhausting. From hormones, to vitamins, to sleep, to yoga and so on.

I've been open on my FB about my mental health and breakdown in posts on my wall. Friends have been incredibly supportive and full of good advice. A huge number of friends have messaged me and told me they are also suffering or have suffered in the past. I selected those I don't want to see my post in my privacy settings - for example young family members & friends I don't wish to distress.

I've been learning about perimenopause which is linked to anxiety as hormones go up and down.

I've changed my diet to be kinder to all the important hormones.

I now do lots of things to get as much sleep as I can in the night. No devices 2 hours before sleep so the blue light doesn't impact melatonin. Only relaxing music or nature sounds playing quietly in the evening. A small glass of tart Cherry juice to help my melatonin also a banana before bed. I meditate before bed. 2 times a week I foot soak in magnesium salt before bed which I was able to get in the supermarket near the vitamins ect.

I also found a massage therapist who comes to my home and is passionate about women's mental health. I get her in once a month and my family stay super quiet so I can enjoy the 1.5hrs of masssge as a self care need.

12 weeks ago I didn't do any of these things. My life is now upside down and these things all take time. But 2 hours less of TV at night means I can fit some of this in. Also my reduced work hours. When I'm back full time I will struggle to fit this in - but if I don't get better or manage this I don't think I will be able to continue to work. I rarely took lunch breaks - when I do return my lunch breaks will be used as my self care/love time. I will eat mindfully in a park or gazing at the sea. No longer will I eat in front of my computer giving my time away as my reduced hours have eaten away all my rec leave.

This was long - phew. But maybe some of my lifestyle changes could be useful for you.