Hello Members introduction

It can help to opens new thread @Skantz. Although all the forum threads belong to the entire community, and anyone can post anywhere, particularly according to topic, we can have a particular thread or threads that we identify with closely and usually post on. Our regular forum friends begin to know to find us there, and new community members faced with the same or similar issues can find us there as well.

The eating disordered behaviour, interpersonal control and rages in my s2bx were really hard to try to get my head around, because there is no sense to it. It's self-harm, and in our case, abusive to those around them as well. The psychological control mechanisms and emotional manipulations are just as bad as physical violence,but the only way the dr. would listen to me was if I spoke up in front of him ..... which threw us "out of the frying pan and into the fire". He began undoing our life, mostly behind my back, but becoming more and more devaluing of our relationship from that time, before announcing the ultimate betrayal in a massive discard episode. You couldn't wipe the smirk off his face at the damage he had caused, and continues to dish out ..... because he still can.

If you open a new thread, include the main topic you are writing about (eg Partner - self harm) in the Subject box, decide which Discussion Topic you think it belongs under (eg Our Stories, or Something is Wrong, etc) and please tag me and others who have responded here to "your" thread so we can be there for you.

There are some carers with mental health challenges who self-harm. They may speak up too and help share their perspective from the other side of the self harm issue, and what matters most to them in terms of the carer support they receive. They may offer suggestions about how to communicate with your beautiful partner about your need for information and communication about her treatment, and how you might be included more effectively.

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

But for the sake of this brain fried carer could you clarify that your guidance is yes I should start a new thread or just prop here for a while

if I should start a new post / thread where should it be.

Please take this as a failing in my ability to clearly comprehend not your communication skills. I am truly at a place where I am functioning for survival only and need recovery time to help reason and comprehension to return

thanks

Maybe just rest here awhile @Skantz instead of trying to wrap your frazzled brain around anything else ..... I know how hard that is. Reeling a bit myself this morning from events on Friday night and Saturday morning.

Sometines we just need to hold tight let the waves wash over us, and roll on their way.

Some days are for just breathing through .....

@Faith-and-Hope

The timing is spooky. I thought we were heading in the right direction until Friday 3pm and has been down hill run over the weekend. Had my 11 year old daughter with me so have had to hold my proverbial together. Did use it as a chance to talk about the fact that it is Ok not to Be OK and should she feel not OK I can support her. Just left the NRC rated bits out

I had some sleeping tablets after my daughter went home and feel much better

no headache and don't seem to have the shakes ATM. Only noticeable when I am holding something like a beer. But what troubles me now is that I don't enjoy a beer. In the past I would write myself off for a reset!!!!

Struggling with the desire to visit the acute care unit to see my partner but I'm not confident I could do this with any style or dignity! They might grab me too!

Trying to see a doctor but my regular clinic has appointments in a week. Trying to pull a personal favour from a doctor who has done my aviation medical for many years but waiting for his response.

Can't get Psychiatric or Psychologic support for weeks. See what I can get sorted with my lifeline doctor. Then I think I will pack my gear and drop of the planet for a night

thanks for reading. My survival technique is flight although I'm not good at it!!

Take care of you @Skantz .....

Hi Mate,

Am sorry to hear about your partner. Self harm of ones self is definitely difficult for many to grasp and even more painful for their partner to witness this and see their loved one in such distress.

Often it is trying various professionals and clicking with the right one that will treat your partner as a person and try and work with them and assist her with care/medication and therapy she may require.

You also need support during this time, it is so important as often we neglect our own needs as we are totally focused on our partner.

Any time you need to chat or just offload and "Rant", Please feel free to message me.

All the very best to you.

Q

@Skantz

yeah, mine was upfront about all his physical disabilities but I didn't find out about the bipolar until I was too far gone... it is what it is.

When he is himself he is perfect, and at other times it is a living hell. I put up with what seems like a lot of verbal abuse, so I actually keep a score card (in excel, I'm an office worker) so that I can look back each month, crunch the numbers and reasssure myself that it was actually good well over 75% of the time. It helps me keep the bad days in perspective.

Talking to professionals yourself about your partner is always helpful too, because they often have great tips and techniques for what to say (or what NOT to say) when she is being irrational.

Keep up the good work x

@SJT63

Thankfully I don't need to track my good times to know I'm in front. mmmm

thanks for your time to read and your kind words

packed my gear up and headed Bush for some time out

listening to the birds and the trees watching the dragon flies and butterflies

food for the soul

safe travels and thanks again for your words