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I see this as looking after myself.

PowderfingerSenior Contributor21 Nov 2020, 2:06 am AEDT

I see this as looking after myself.

I feel like I want to/need to have a hiatus. Spend time away from society/world/people etc. I just feel like I've really lost myself entirely. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm so fatigued. I actually don't know what else to do but lock myself away. I'm also in a lot if pain. I'm tired of the OLD. Old ways of doing things, trying to have hope when I'm too tired to hold hope. I don't have answers anymore. Some days I can't breathe and I want to scream.

I'm struggling to make things work when I'm not getting much help to make those things work. I'm tired if feeling like I have failed when I have done much good too. I'm tired of wanting to feel appreciated and seen. I'm tired if feeling empty and lifeless. I'm tired if living someone so profoundly deeply and wanting them so very much, but feeling resistance. I'm tired of trying to explain what's in my heart but they can't connect with it. It hurts. I just feel devastated. I don't know who I am anymore nor where I stand. I have to try remember this person is doing their best. What I'm concerned about is not knowing if and when things will get better and am I just being selfish in wanting to connect with that person on the level that I love them. Maybe they don't feel that way like I do? I just don't know.

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In response to: I see this as looking after myself.

PowderfingerSenior Contributor24 Nov 2020, 10:34 am AEDT

Re: I see this as looking after myself.

@Skantz

Nice to hear from you. Thank you for the appreciation and for letting me know I helped in enriching a person's life. It's been a good exchange. I too have realised and learnt things. There are more takers than givers in the world.

These people are very draining. I always played my part. It is a part I will no longer play and am letting go. This is good for me, because it means the end of me being drained of so many things in my life.

It's always a two way street, give and take. I'm no longer interested in having anything to do with takers only.

Thank you for making a difference for me and I am happy you left to have a rest of your own.

Ramble.

In response to: Re: I see this as looking after myself.

SkantzContributor04 Dec 2020, 3:18 pm AEDT

Re: I see this as looking after myself.

Just checking in @Powderfinger

Hope you are traveling well!

In response to: Re: I see this as looking after myself.

PowderfingerSenior Contributor04 Dec 2020, 3:35 pm AEDT

Re: I see this as looking after myself.

@Skantz

Hi there! Good to hear from you. Having my good and bad days at the moment. How are you going?

Thanks for checking in ☺️

In response to: Re: I see this as looking after myself.

SkantzContributor04 Dec 2020, 3:46 pm AEDT

Re: I see this as looking after myself.

Doing okay @Powderfinger

My partner improved and we now have her back in the clinic and she is improving further

had another rant at the Psychologist and seemed to have improved my blood pressure if nothing else

Hope you have a good weekend. I appreciate you lending a hand when you did

In response to: Re: I see this as looking after myself.

PowderfingerSenior Contributor04 Dec 2020, 8:37 pm AEDT

Re: I see this as looking after myself.

@Skantz

I'm glad things have improved for you.snd your partner.

You are welcome. Hope you have a great weekend too.

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