Moving forward

Yes @Appleblossom my elephant is swallowing me and has been for ages but I've had my head in the sand over it all. I had a reality check recently when my therapist told me what age I was functioning at, I'm pretty sure you saw that post. I've been trying to dig myself out but I am failing dismally and the shame is taking its toll. I tried to ask you some questions today on your approaching sure thread but I think I was clutching at straws so don't worry too much.

I'll have a look at it .. been distracted by housework and stuff today.

Well said @Former-Member. We all do things when unwell that should be talked about. Then again, I think we should also talk about things we do when well. All of it is human nature. All of it is part of who we are.

Thanks @Former-Member,

thanks for sharing your really vulnerable stuff. I guess everyone does have there things here but I get swallowed by comparison a fair bit. Hearing voices and having delusions almost seems normal on here and I never judge, just learn and am amazed at the brain and the things it does. I feel empathy for you in that situation but I read so many similar stories it's make those things ok. I guess sometimes it would be good to read someone's story like mine so I don't feel so isolated with it all. This week I have come to thinking I don't have any MI I'm just a hopeless person and should leave this site. But I'll get over it I feel lost I think and maybe alone, perhaps even coming to think of it a little sorry for myself so I guess it's time to suck it up for a bit. I really hope I haven't offended you with what i wrote above.

thank you @Appleblossom for sharing those things about you breaking out on your own and the day with your son. It did help a bit.

Thanks @Former-Member, teared up at the last part which I guess is true.....just people supporting people regardless of diagnosis. Who said you are not as wise as @Faith-and-Hope 😝😚. I think if I didn't have a diagnosis it might be different but I'm not allowed to forget it....my psych has asked me to tell him what it is the last few visits just incase I forget 😬🤔:face_with_rolling_eyes:😠 As for helping me with it he's not so good but he's put a great big thumping tick in that diagnosis box.

cheers for the support. 💜🤗💐😘

Aw @Former-Member

It's obvious reading what people write that you are cared about here - even if we never see your elephant we can see you - and how we care! - how indeed we are not at all worried about your elephant - even though we are really bothered that it is swallowing you

So - who knows - maybe we all have an elephant. I remember when I was young - how glad I am that wore off - being young was such a painful state

But - I would go out to a meeting or a party or whatever and get home and go to bed and spend the night totally screwed up about what I had said and what people thought of me and on and on etc -

And now all this has worn off - really - as someone said - it doesn't matter what people say as long as they don't deliberately set out to hurt people

When I first went to a therapist I was in really bad shape - and her nurse asked me if I could hear voices and I said "Of course - there's nothing wrong with my hearing" - that seriously - that was weird

But so many years have passed - so many people have moved in and out of my life - I can't get on with my sister and a therapist asked me if I had trouble getting on with other people - no - I am easy to get on with

But all those years have passed and I remember how I screwed myself up at night - but guess what - I can't remember what it was I said that was a problem to me and also - I do not dwell on what other people have said - except perhaps my mother - who started all the self-doubt

And the nurse who asked me if I could here voices - yeah - seriously weird

We love you here Teej and I don't think you would be any better if you weren't here

Lots of hugs

Dec

Thanks @Former-Member

There are few blessings in growing older - what happened to the athlete I was once - and the pepper-and-salt hair and partial dentures - I could go on -

But there are things that no longer matter - and what other people think about is no longer an issue

And the uncertainty of the future is replaced by the positives of the past

And I do have a good memory but there has to be a lot I have forgotten - thank God for that -

I am so glad your session today helped - you needed that

Dec