My Mosaic

Hey @Bow

I just wanted to come by and say I'm sorry you ended up back in hospital and I really do hope you’re okay.

I've been thinking of you.

Can I ask how old your daughter is I don't know if you have mentioned it to me before.

Thanks @Birdofparadise8 im ok as I can be.

my daughter is nearly 8yrs old.

That's good to hear @Bow

How have things been with community MH?

Aww how cute kids are the best. I remember when my cousin was that old.

@Birdofparadise8 It’s really good to be with community mh, cause they can offer a lot of services… I see my pdoc and my psychologist there and I also have a case manager. I’ve also done a DBT course and a sensory course. They are great for acute care. They come and do home visits and liaison with others. So once you’re finally accepted by them, it can be a good thing.
BUT, I don’t feel like I have much choice. Like I seen an amazing psychologist weekly there, but she changed positions and now I’ve been transferred to a different team for my psychologist appointments and can only do fortnightly. My case manager isn’t that good. Feel like she has dropped the ball a lot lately.

I am waiting around for them to do a home visit. No idea what time they will be here.

yep kids are cute…. Most of the time!

That's good to hear does community MH only do night risk because I've tried and I never get anyway even when I'm really suicidal and have a plan.

Good luck for today @Bow i hope it goes well.

I have work now I'll talk to you later.

I think they probably do do only acute patients unfortunately @Birdofparadise8 i tried with them many many times. Basically begged to be seen by one of their pdocs cause I had had really bad experiences with 2 private pdocs, but they said no. It wasn’t until I had had a few lengthy hospital admissions that they finally took me on, starting with a psychologist first. I then seen a pdoc under the adult psychology team. Then my psych put me onto the case manager team for some additional support when she wasn’t there, I then had to change pdocs to the case managers team pdoc.
so yes, it’s difficult to get connected but once you do it generally opens you up to a lot of different services. It’s a shame it’s not available to more.

enjoy work @Birdofparadise8 hope it all goes smoothly for you

Comm mh just left. Faaarrrrrkkkk it was my CM and one of the ladies that came out on Saturday.

so many questions. What happened? Why did I do it? How long? What was I thinking/feeling? My CM said I need to get my D some psychological support. She asked if I notice any changes in her? I don’t. I know what I do damages her. But I don’t see anything. And I’m terrified that if I do get her someone to talk to that she will ask lots of questions, the person she talks to will tell her stuff about what is wrong with me and then she will tell her father. And that can’t happen.
They asked how were things when I got home yesterday. I said I hug mum and D and then things just continue on as if nothing happened. Nothing is ever asked. And it’s always been that way. They wanted to know if I like it that way. I don’t know. It’s just how it’s always been. There are no awkward conversations. Only real difference was that mum was more attentive around my meds. They said that’s how it always should be.

There were lots more questions. Some things I don’t remember. They asked if I was safe right now. Yes I am. I remember telling my CM that sometimes I wish I haven’t survived and others where I am glad I’m still here. My CM said I was close to not being.

im real scared about my appointments tomorrow. Dietitian in the morning. Pdoc in the afternoon. I’ve arranged someone from the social support organisation that I am with to meet me at comm mh and sit and wait with me. Don’t need them to come in, just to wait with me. Cause I could be very tempted to not go. My usual worker is on leave this week. And the person who has taken over my support from her is away tomorrow, so someone else will meet me there.

my CM is going to call my gp tomorrow too, my gp sent me a message through their booking app that she wanted to see, but earliest I could get was the 22nd. CM thought that was too far away.

I wish there was something would stop the SI. a pill that just turned that off. Yes I know I just need to learn to live with it. Let it come and go. Get over it bow

I am sorry @Bow

Lots of love to you xo

Sounds like a full on afternoon for you @Bow

Hopefully it helps in the long run.

I wish there was a pill too. It would make life so much easier.

Sitting in this space with you 💕

@Eve7 💗💗

Yeah I know I don't get why they wait for you to be so high risk and need to be in hospital like wouldn't they prefer people to no attempt and help them @Bow

I'm trying to find a pdoc but it's not going to well. I don't know if it's working calling triage again and see what they say.

Hope your day has been okay.