My Mosaic

@Bow Sending hugs...I hope you're safe... 💔

@Bow I see last night was really difficult for you. I hope you reached out for help hon.

Sending lots of 💗 and cuddles

I'm sorry to hear that those things are happening and that has been your day @Bow

I know how difficult it can be to be in that space.

I'm not sure what I can do but can at least sit with you.

I’m sorry

@Bow Hey how you travelling today?

Not ok @Jynx

You got a new badge?

I did @Bow! More in line with the way I provide support.

Am sad to hear you're having a rough time. Want to chat about it? Or chat about something else to distract you from it?

Well I think it suits you @Jynx

hmm not real sure what to say. Just really not in a good place and feeling really trapped and hopeless. Hmm frustrated with comm mh. My CM is away so much and feel like I’m falling through the cracks a bit. Like I went in to see my CM Monday only to find out she was away and I seen some random lady. I told her things were bad. But I hear nothing since. I have no idea if my CM is back yet, do I call to check and then have to end up talking to another random? Finding myself getting so overwhelmed inside my head with all the constant noise which leads me think about and do things I shouldn’t.
I feel like a terribly shit, selfish and horrible mother and daughter. Thinking and wanting to do all the things that i do, all the while while things are as they are at home with my step dad. It plays big on me.
(trying to talk but not trigger or break guidelines)

Thanks @Bow that makes me all warm n fuzzy inside.

Aww that sucks, I hope your regular is back soon. Could you email them?

I really hear that you feel like you're letting them down. I think it's quite the contrary - all you're doing to stay afloat while running on pure survival mode is really amazing. It's not your fault that all your energy has to be directed towards it.

No @Jynx I don’t have email access to my CM. She made it clear that I wasn’t allowed to email her. I was allowed to email my old psych there. And I get the impression I won’t be allowed to email my new psych either. It sucks cause I like being able to email.

I find it hard to call up and ask for help. Never know what to say. Never know who I will actually end up talking to and how they will respond if they don’t know me.

im not sure what else there is. Feel so overwhelmed and desperate.