My Mosaic

@Bow

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Sending hugs @Bow

Have really struggled today. Did the groceries this morning. That was an effort. I hate doing the groceries now. Hate having to buy food. Never know whether I should buy food cause at the moment I’m really not eating much. Don’t want to buy food that will just go to waste. At least I save money. I’ve been real thirsty again today. got on the treadmill when I got home.

my case manager called me this afternoon. She wanted to know what I’m eating and drinking. She’s concerned. We visited the conversation about the bike again today. She’s not gonna make me put it away cause it’s not what I wanna do. I’m glad. I mentioned recovery record to her last time I spoke to her and she bought it up again today. She hadn’t heard of it before, I explained a bit more about it this afternoon. She could sign up for it and I could link up with her, but I don’t know if I want her to access it. I write a fair bit of stuff in there.

I see my dietitian on Friday, I’m heaps anxious about that. Then I go and see my case manager afterwards.

everything just feels like it’s falling apart again. I’m so tired of this vicious battle that goes on inside my head all day every day. It’s so exhausting. I wish the monster would hurry up and take me. Yea I do. Just take me

@Bow glad your case manager was in contact with you. Sounds like it is someone you can talk to which helps.

Hey @Bow I can imagine you're feeling pretty distressed right now, with these kind of thoughts knocking around your brain. I will flick you an email to check in, keep an eye out. Sending some hugs your way too 💜

I’m sorry you’re having such a struggle @Bow

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Hey @Bow you're not alone right now, I'm sitting with you ❤️

Did you want to chat about what you're feeling right now?

@amber22 Really just wanna sleep so my thoughts will stop. I wish to not be here. I wish that one of them had worked. But they didn’t. I’m still here. Still dealing with this monster inside my head. I don’t know what else to say. Talking don’t change anything. Talking don’t help. Just wanna sleep. Make it all stop. Gonna go sleep

Oh Im so sorry you're feeling this way @Bow

I think the best thing to do right now to stop these thoughts is so try and sleep, pop on something that will help you drift off and I hope that you wake up feeling better tomorrow 💘