My Mosaic

You’re a beautiful kindhearted intelligent woman @Bow who has just had the misfortune of meeting up with someone in the wrong profession!!

People like him make me so angry and I’m sorry he has treated you this way.

Please don’t believe those lies…listen to the truth instead. You are worthy, valuable, loveable and more than a conqueror.

Lots of love

💙💙🙏💙💙

Sitting with you @Bow You are so strong and such an amazing person ❤️ Here to chat if you needed

@Bow I hope you got some sleep last night.

Please remember today is a new day 💜💜

Really not sure how to keep going. Finding myself thinking more and more about plans.

I went and met my new psychologist this morning. She is nice. She asked lotsa questions but said if I didn’t wanna talk about stuff that that was fine.
I bought up what happened yesterday and was able to talk through where my head has been at with it. She mentioned that the registrar had said to her that he wanted to see me today. And he actually called through to the room we were in while I was there to ask again if I would see him. I said no. That I was not up to facing him yet. And that I would perhaps see him later but wanted my CM to be present too. He also passed on that he had some information about ECT.
I ended up calling the after hours number last night. Things weren’t good. The lady I spoke to was lovely. I explained what happened yesterday and she was really apologetic. She also said that she had a read of the notes my CM had made and it sounded like she was not at all happy with what had happened.

Although my new psychologist seems nice and perhaps I could see myself building a therapeutic relationship, she can only see me fortnightly and I very much got the impression she is not available outside of sessions. I’m upset and disappointed. I know some others see their psychs less and I feel absolutely terrible complaining about this. I seen my old psych weekly, I could email and text her and she was available 3 days a week. I need weekly sessions and I really struggle to see how anything good or helpful can come of this.

I haven’t heard from my CM since my appointment yesterday. I did text her yesterday afternoon but I heard nothing. I feel like all my supports have been pulled out from under me this year and I don’t think people understand how desperate I feel.

@Bow it sounds like your psych is nice and hopefully you can build a good relationship with her. I can understand the need to see her more often. Perhaps you can bring it up in the next session with her. I hope you hear from your CM soon hon.

I understand the need for support and to feel supported. You deserve it hon. You are worth it.

Just falling apart and can’t stop it

Hey @Bow ,

I have just read your above posts. It may feel like your supports have been pulled away from under you, but just to shed light on a different element, I actually believe you have graduated to the next part of your recovery.

My making themselves 'less available', they are in fact handing over the power of recovery to you. You know that you have an appointment in 2 weeks time, and you know that you cannot contact them in between - this will increase your tolerance.

Why I'm saying this is because it happened to me. Over time, the supports were gradually reduced so that I was then made to take control.

I believe this is what will ultimate help you @Bow - you cannot rely on a walking stick forever. I hear it hurts. I hear how painful it is, yet I also see that you ready for it.

Recovery hurts. It IS painful. Yet I honestly believe in you.

Sorry you feel this way right now @Bow