My Mosaic

Hiya @Bow lovely to see ya! I'm doing alright, just tryna survive the heat hey. Sounds like you've had a very busy morning at the market. Any highlights?

Still hot down in Vic eh @Jynx ? I’m not a fan of the heat… and annoyed that it looks like we are in for a rather warm autumn. Bring on winter!

yes, very busy morning. I sell all my daughters old handmade clothes I made (plus mums small business stuff). It’s always nice when shoppers compliment the clothes. Quiet a few shoppers were pregnant but didn’t know what they were having so couldn’t buy, but loved everything.

@Bow Yeah I'm not looking forward to that - I want some rainy days again! Such a soothing sound, the rain.

Aww sounds so wholesome! Super happy for you 😊💜

Does anyone struggle with how they come across/present to their supports, compared to how they feel inside?? (Hope I have worded that ok?)

I am in the process of applying for DSP and was talking to my psychologist today about it as I need a supporting letter from her. She is more than happy to provide the letter, but said that she would need to over exaggerate things as she believes in the future I would be more than capable of working.
I’ve since spent some time thinking…. And I struggle with it. I set quiet high standards for myself. Whenever I go into community mh I always have my hair brushed and up, I put my eyebrows on, and am dressed reasonable. I often compare myself to others that walk through those doors, who without judging, look like that are struggling. Sometimes when preparing myself to go in for an appointment I stand in front of the mirror and think I look fine, I don’t look like a person who feels the way that I feel inside.
I even hate it when my supports come to do a home visit, when they come into my room, it’s always clean, my beds always made. But that’s cause that’s something that I can control when inside my head is a really big mess.

I hope people are understanding what I am trying to communicate? I hope my psych doesn’t think I’m better than I feel simply cause of how I present.

meh.

@Bow I think it comes back to stigma - that a person who is 'mentally ill' is going to be easily recognised as such. But pretty much all of us here know that that simply isn't the case. We're not necessarily the person shouting on the street that seems to embody the stereotype many people think of when they think 'mental illness'; we're their neighbours, their coworkers, their friends and family - we're just out here trying to live, like everyone else.

The worst part about this stigma is that it means so many people will fly under the radar - that you seemingly have to have a full blown mental breakdown, and look dishevelled and unwashed to boot, to be considered unwell enough to receive support. One of the things I've learned is that it is okay to exaggerate or embellish a bit if you need to within the current system, in order to get the support you deserve.

Maybe it's worth mentioning to some of your MH team that you put lots of effort into your personal hygiene and how you look because it's all you can do some days to keep the darkness at bay. Maybe it's a coping strategy, maybe it's a little bit of routine that helps you cling to a sense of control. None of these have to be true (and I'm not trying to make assumptions about what this process is for you), but giving reasoning can help.

I'm pretty sure that on many assessment questionnaires, one thing they do look out for is a decline in personal hygiene - however, it's not the only thing that determines your state of mind. I also think that's more associated with depression symptoms, and I think you are in a mental state with a bit more complexity than that... but the DSP worker may not understand that, because they may view the world with the stigmatising view that people have to appear a certain way to be determined as needing the extra support.

Something to chat to your psych about again maybe?

Yea for sure @Jynx

A decline in my personal hygiene is a huge red flag for me that things are really bad. I’m a shower every day type of person and when that shower don’t happen, i ain’t ok. Washing my hair too… that use to happen twice a week, but that has slipped heaps and so has brushing my teeth! Which is gross. I am suppose to wear a mouth guard too… but I rarely do at the moment.

It is that stigma eh.

I also like it to folks with EDs. I don’t look like your typical ED person. And those that don’t look like it struggle to get the support we need.

Too true @Bow. It's good you have that insight into yourself that allows you to check in with how you're travelling on a given day. And yeah, hope that by being open about your process you can show the folks who need to see that just because you look okay, doesn't mean you are.

How do you manage your mental health and work @Jynx ? If that’s ok to ask?

Yeah of course @Bow, hmmm...

Well right now my MH isn't too bad, so managing work comes down to ensuring I can leave my work at work - if I'm thinking about it too much during my personal time, I know that's a sign to seek some extra support and supervision. I'm lucky in that a lot of my close friends also work in mental health, so it's easy to find someone to vent to if I need to. And then I make sure I do my self-care, I have to be really strict on that one or stuff goes wonky. This includes stuff like spending time with loved ones, talking to my psych, making myself good food, and dancing it all out. Dance is a particularly helpful one for me, as it allows me to physically shake off anything that seems to want to stick in my brain. And because of my ADHD, almost everything wants to stick in there 😅

Before I started working in MH though, and when I was in my darker days, work was a LOT harder. I worked a lot of hospitality jobs because it meant I rarely had time to sit still, which kept my mind off things that would otherwise be pretty painful to sit with. And then outside of work, I was usually pretty exhausted, and would frequently go into what I now recognise as autistic burn out - melt downs, shut downs, and so, so, SO much crying.

Once I got my ADHD diagnosis stuff got a lot easier cos I finally was able to better understand my needs. So I guess finding that balance between work and managing MH is about understanding your own needs and trying to choose the right type of work, and build a routine around that.

Not sure if that's helpful to you, but it's always nice to be able to share 😊

Thanks for sharing @Jynx i do appreciate it. I’d imagine…. Or at least hope that working in mh there would be good supports in place.

I can’t imagine working at all with where my mh is at the moment. And really can’t see how my psych can see that??….