My Mosaic

Sitting with you @Bow

No sorry needed @Bow. I am glad you're here, talking with us. Wish I could soothe you with just my typed words... I know it will pass - nothing ever lasts forever. Remember you are loved, you are cared for, and you are worthy and deserving of both 💜

I’m scared tonight

of the darkness I see and the darkness inside me that I can’t control it

Maybe it's not about controlling it @Bow but just letting it be? Or observing it, but remembering it doesn't have mastery over you. You have the strength to get through this, I know it.

I am signing off for tonight, but another @moderator will be around very soon. Big hugs, catch you again real soon 💜

@Bow Am sad your nights are so distressing at the moment 😞

I want to say, Well Done for doing your grounding techniques when things are bad, I know it must be such a fight to do that.

We are here for you ❤️

Is hard enough to call

Need them to call me back

need help

My dear @Bow - hold on tight. I know it is hard. See if you can practice some deep breathing.

I'm hearing how difficult it is right now. You are NOT alone.

Is your daughter going to school tomorrow?

I remember this used to happen to me. It caused a lot of anxiety when they say they will call and they end up not calling. In the beginning, I used to get upset about it, but later, I self-soothed by saying to myself - "they know best - if they choose not to call, then there's a reason for it". I didn't want to harbour anger in my heart towards them. Instead, I had to find a way to reason with myself.

I remember telling my psychologist once, "You didn't call me, because I believe you are trying to test me. You knew I was getting better and you were trying to help me stand on my own two feet?" Of course, my psychologist was so confused. He didn't know what I meant. I can still see his face when he said, "I was testing you?"....

So yeah... that's how I self soothed. I hope you can also find a way to soothe yourself. If they call, great! If they don't, what can you do to soothe yourself? @Bow