My Mosaic

Not felt this low and depressed for a while. I know there are alot of things contributing to it…. Jetlag, post holiday blues, things at home, but it feels scary.

i had an appointment with my ED psychiatrist this morning. We just talk. Touch base. But she looked at my med list and with the increase yesterday, she was shocked…. Puzzled, at how much I am on.

i feel bad. Selfish. Here my step dad is slowly dying, he would do anything to be well and not be dying. And then here I am…. Wanting to die.

Hi @Bow

Sorry you're feeling so low. It's good you can recognise that there are contributing factors but obviously doesn't make it feel any better. Try not to be hard on yourself. We are all only human and our mental health will fluctuate over our lifetime. All the things you mention are contributing and they were inevitable.

Because you mention 'wanting to die' I'll put the crisis numbers below in case you need them. I'll also add this suicide prevention resource.

It may be of some help for you.

Lifeline 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659467
beyondblue Support Service 1300 22 46 36

Keep checking in and hopefully things soon improve for you.

Hugs

Hanami

I’m so sorry you feel this way @Bow .
Im here to listen if you want to chat. Sending hugs.

Thanks @hanami @Captain24

I hate this feeling. It’s scary. It’s dark. It’s Overwhelming. I hate myself so much, hate my body, it’s repulses me. Makes it all feel too hard.

I hear you @Bow .

It’s a really really horrible place to be in. Do you have anyone you can call or maybe go and visit while your daughter is at school? Or what about a really hot shower and feel the hot water on your skin, head and face? Could you draw or paint something from your holiday? Could you prepare a special snack for when your daughter gets home from school?

I do get that when things are this dark it’s hard to find anything that can help distract. Just trying to give some ideas.

Hi @Bow,

Sorry to read you are feeling low, depressed and scared. It's not a comfortable feeling to sit with I know. I really do hope these feelings pass for you soon. I think you're right - it could be a combination of the things you mentioned in your post.

I'm sorry too to read about your step-dad, that is really sad. I'm going to send you an email just to privately check in with you. Please respond when you can.

Please never feel alone because there is always support out there if you need it.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

Thanks @FloatingFeather but I doubt it. That’s why I want out. Can’t go back to living like this.

Oh @Bow Hugs 💕💕💕

Hi @Bow,

I really feel for you and am sitting with you. I have sent you a response to your email. If you wouldn't mind replying when you can that would be much appreciated.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

How do ya keep going @Captain24 ?

sit with me please?