My Mosaic

1 hr to go- it’s always the hardest. I find myself thinking stuff, getting fearful.

You’re almost there sweetie and she’s back home safe with her mummy 💖💖💖

Not long now @Bow 🤗❣️

Thanks @Eve7 @Anastasia she’s home. Wish she missed me as much and wanted snuggles as much as I do.

I’m glad she’s home safe and sound @Bow

💖💖💖

I am unsure how I go about doing this for another 13 years. Him interrogating me after every visit with her. I get asked so many questions, things that have absolutely nothing to do with him, yet because she may mention it to him, he feels he can question me. I have zero privacy even though our marriage is over and he is not living here anymore. It’s not fair. It’s so different for him, I know nothing of what goes on there she doesn’t tell me anything, he can do what he wants. I have to be so careful of what I say and do in front of her, even innocent things can get back to him and taken the wrong way and then I have to justify and explain myself all the time. It’s bs. I wish that he would up and leave, I know that sounds horrible, but it is what it is.

I hate living like this. Trying to figure out what is worse, living like this or staying with him and putting up with it. I feel so flat tonight. So alone. I want to sh so badly, but what if he finds out about that too. What if I end up back in hospital again, he will find out about that and I’ll get interrogated again. Nothing is private now. I’m not free from him, he still controls me, he still torments me. This is not living.

Hey there @Bow,

I can see that it’s a really tough time for you right now. It can be challenging to manage the urge to SH, we want you to know you’re not alone. I encourage you to get in touch with SCBS or Lifeline for a chat. If you require urgent assistance please phone 000. I hope you can turn to your strategies to keep safe this evening.

Take good care,

Sphinxly

I don’t know what to say but I hear you @Bow

Is it possible that he picks d up from a neutral place so that you don’t have to see him?

💖🤗💖

Always make situations more difficult by going and doing stupid things. So many regrets last night. I eventually went to sleep after some extra meds.

Thanks @Former-Member and @Eve7 it would be the ideal but not sure it would work for us and he would want to know why? And then that’s him knowing I struggle and him winning again. Sigh 😔

Enjoy being with your little girl today @Bow

💖🦋💖