My Mosaic

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@Bow wrote:

Does anyone else just hang out for their appointments with their supports?

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Yes!!! I only see my psychologist once a month, so it's a big event and I save all my problems for her. It's always uplifting even if some of it's hard.

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@Bow wrote:

So, I’m wondering if you my friends would be willing to share some things that have happened in your life that have been good?

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A big positive thing in my life was starting volunteer work, about 14 years ago. It has given me a place to be, structure to my week, a sense of purpose, belonging, new friends and feeling useful.

So glad you have found some purposeful volunteer word @NatureLover that brings a bit of meaning to your life.
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So much argh inside tonight. I think I’m really angry with myself. Angry that I can’t be honest with people. The peer worker from today said she was going to call me this arvo…. My case manager is away again. But she didn’t call. But someone else called about 1/2hr ago. I said I wasn’t ok, that I have terrible SI and when asked if I would be ok I said I’d just had my meds and was going to bed. I’m in bed and I’m feeling so overwhelmed. So much going on inside. I’m scared. Mum asked if I was ok, I said yes. But I’m not. I’m not ok. I’m not ok.

Hey @Bow ,

Sure sounds so difficult tonight. While those SI thoughts are so pervasive, please remember you are not the sum of your thoughts.

I'm glad you have been able to share some of this here tonight. I hope that in itself helps you know you are heard and we care.

Please feel free to reach out to SANE on 1800 187 263, or any of the crisis services if you feel unsafe.

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467

If in immediate danger: 000

Remember, it's about keeping safe for now. It is not about climbing insurmountable mountains and knowing what the future will hold.

You are precious and a valued member of SANE.

Sitting with you,

tyme

Hey @Bow Thank you for the tag. I can see things took a turn and you had a difficult night... how are you doing today? I really admire the work you do with your psychologist. You are very open and honest with them and then to come back here and uplift all of us with our happy memories is such a wonderful thing. I too sometimes find it hard to focus on the positives, so thank you for reminding me to do that. The best and also most challenging thing has definitely been my babies and before that I had a very memorable trip to Japan and there was lots of self discovery walking the streets of Paris in my 20s. I love travelling. Thank you for bringing these happy memories back to me. ☀️

Also wanted to add, one of the best things has been accepting that things aren't always perfect, accepting myself as I am and committing to thinking of myself as a work in progress. Trying to be present and not think too far forward or too far back 😊

Thanks for sharing @Paperdaisy

I love travel too. And hope my daughter will love it too. She’s enjoyed our mini getaways.

on struggle street still. Done my nails and biking it. Trying to just get through the moments.

We're here with you @Bow feel free to reach out to the SANE support centre if you need to. Sometimes all you can do is get through the moments.

Anything nice planned for the afternoon? The sun is shining where I am sitting.

The sun is shining here today too @Paperdaisy.…. No rain today thankfully.
Have to go pick up my kitten from the vet at some point. Just waiting for the call. He was desexed today. Hoping it will be later this arvo so my daughter can come for the ride.

Seen my dietician this morning. I actually tried to get out of the appointment, tried to cancel telling her I didn’t want to keep wasting her time. She assured me that I never waste her time and wanted to check in with me today, so I agreed to attend. She didn’t push any changes to my current meal plan and I agreed to continue to try and increase my fluids, I explained to her that I think my body is getting use to lack of food and fluids, she said that’s possible but also concerning.

My case manager has been away all week again. I really like my case manager, she knows her stuff and is experienced in EDs but it’s really frustrating that she is away so much. I usually have contact with her 2-3 times a week and I really notice it when she isn’t around and no one else connects with me. And now it’s the weekend… 😩

I’ve been battling some really intense SI this week, it’s been rough. But doing what I can to get through each moment. I’ve spent a lot of time on my bike this week and my body is suffering because of it. And I’ve also just been going to bed early- feels like the safest place to be sometimes.

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@Bow here with you hon.

Just out the kettle on to make a cuppa

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