My Mosaic

My mum called my case manager… (cause she seen how it impacting me) but she ain’t even in. No one is around today.

That is so tough @Bow. I'm sorry to hear and that there isn't more I can do, but sitting here with you through this, as I'm sure, are many others here 💕

Sorry to hear that things are hard for you @Bow

Please know we are here for you 💗💗

I’m on so many meds, which are constantly changing. I hate having to go to the chemist every single week to get my meds and then the changes can’t be made cause it’s not written on a new script. It may just be a small adjustment to the dosage. But the chemist can’t give me the extra.

My gp wrote on my scripts last year that they were to be a control dosage, with them giving me a weeks supply at a time. it made the above very difficult.
my psychiatrist didn’t write the weekly supply on my scripts, so last week I asked the chemist if they would release all my meds to my mum, which they agreed to, as well as dispensing 3 new scripts in full that my psychiatrist gave me.
last week there was a mix up with my meds. My psychiatrist told me to stop one AD and start a new one, as well as some other changes. Chemist threw out the old ones. But then my case manager visited me and we were talking about the med changes and she questioned them. So spoke with the psychiatrist and they decided to not stop the old and start the new… and just stay with the current meds with some other adjustments. So had to go to gp to get old AD scripts, who of course wrote weekly supply.
Go to get script filled today and chemist 1- wouldn’t give the full script, tried to call pdoc to get it cleared but she wasn’t in. 2- wouldn’t even give weekly supply cause they are concerned around what meds I’m actually on and the interaction. So now I don’t have any AD for the next couple of days.
The chemist man suggested I go down to community mh and see a random pdoc who could then call my pdoc. I nodded and agreed and walked out knowing full well it don’t work like that. So angry. So upset. So annoyed. So frustrated. Just want my meds so that I can sort them myself without all this bloody drama and issues every time.

just venting. Getting it out. It’s confusing I know. Sorry if you have wasted your time reading this.
i was already not in a good place… this has just made everything worse.

i started restricting today. I hate my body so much and how much weight I have put on. Its so disgusting. I forced a tiny bit of dinner down and that’s it for today.

Oh @Bow It must be so frustrating to have this happen but they have your best interest at heart and want to make sure they are doing the right thing by you. I know it's hard adjusting meds and I hope you have some extra support around to guide you through this difficult time. Sitting here with you tonight if you need to chat. It's the ED talking, try not to let it win ❤️

Wish people could see how disgusting I look @Paperdaisy then you would understand. I did not go to church again yesterday cause I am so ashamed and embarrassed by the way that I look. I have to go next week, so need to work hard this week. And beyond.

I'm wondering if you can think about all the amazing things your body can do? I think it's pretty incredible I've grown human beings. What about you? You're also a beautiful artist.. I really admire that. You're very talented.

If you're really stuck with those ED thoughts would it be worth calling butterfly? I know you've said they have been helpful in the past 💝

I went and had a chat with the butterfly. And then drew this….. I’ve been doing a lot of drawing lately. It helps.

Proud of you for making that call @Bow

I feel your pain through that image and I'm sending you strength 💛 I'm glad you have that as an outlet.