My Mosaic

Hi @Bow

I'm sorry that you're sitting with so much this morning. It can feel infuriating and vulnerable and unjust when we feel our sense of agency has been taken away from us. It may not feel like it, but it takes a lot of strength and will to still show up and be present for these things to take care of yourself.

We're sitting with you Bow ❤️

I really don’t wish to take care of myself anymore, but I fear the repercussions if I just let everything go. My mum knew that my gp was chasing me this morning and I simple said that I forgot to go get my bloods done and left. My gp called again when she was suppose to finish for the day to make sure that I had gone and done them and said that she would call once she gets the results back. It’s now 3:30, she was done at 1pm and I haven’t heard back from her. I sure hope she ain’t waiting around just for me- she did put them through as urgent.
I’m real annoyed with my case manager. That she called my gp. I feel violated. I just want my body to give up. It’s easier that way than me having to do something.

Hey @Bow just popping in to offer some support. I hear your frustration and that this feels like a violation of trust and privacy.

I also sense that part of this is that you feel you've given up on yourself? So now even though your case worker is trying to help, it feels maybe like it would lead to more of that difficult (and I imagine quite exhausting) path.

Your case worker (and all of us here) just want you to be happy healthy and safe. Maybe that feels incredibly out of reach right now.... but it is okay to give up sometimes. Just for a little while. It's never a bad thing to take time to rest - even from healing work. 💜

It does feel really out of reach, not at all possible even and I can’t rest. I may of given up on myself but I will keep pushing my body til it can go no more. Perhaps I should just shut the door on everyone

It is of course your choice as to whether you shut the door or not @Bow.

If you did, that idea of healing being out of reach might seem even further away. Even still, I don't believe it is ever so far away that it is unachievable. You are no exception to that.

Sitting with you @Bow

💙🦋🤗🙏🤗🦋💙

Here with you @Bow 💔

I can feel your hopelessness and exhaustion 😞

@Bow

Lots of love sent you way hon 💗💗

@Bow