My Mosaic

Thanks @Eve7 @outlander

I should be asleep but am wide awake still.

@outlander my psychologist put through a referral for a case manager for me- I've been accepted but not allocated one yet. Will be some extra support considering my psychologist is not full time. I do have some goals other than my mental health, my psychologist sometimes reminds me of them. I think perhaps they will be things that my case manager will help me with too.

Drowning tonight

dont know why I am here

Sitting with you @Bow. What might help you stay afloat tonight?

It's a dark dark night @Jynx

been hit from all directions today

@Bow I'm sorry to hear that today has been difficult in multiple ways. Anything you need to get off your chest?

My dietitian appointment was really challenging today. It's really hard to accept how unwell I am when my ED screams the opposite at me. When my dietitian wants me to put boundaries in around the things that I do to help me cope.

I feel really disconnected tonight like I'm watching from outside it doesn't feel good

@Bow Accepting how unwell we are is really scarysometimes. I feel you on that one, it took me many, many years to actually realise how much I needed help, because my brain decided it was too painful to admit how bad things were.

Is this feeling of disconnection something you've experienced much before? Sounds a bit like you might be experiencing dissociation, which makes sense as often it is a way for the mind to cope with incredibly distressing experiences. You could always engage in some grounding, it typically helps us to reconnect with the present moment.

Perhaps

jus feel myself sinking deeper tonight

no hope

I'll log off before I'm in trouble

Do what feels right for you @Bow, especially if talking about things is currently not helpful for you. I know today was tough, I hope tomorrow is better for you.

And of course, please reach out to your supports as needed. And you can always ask a helpline for support in doing a grounding exercise.

Sending many hugs to help you through

In a world full of people I have never felt more alone